Guardian
by Nickelback21
Summary: Life is never easy. But to some people, it seems unbearable. At least until fate decides to reward them. Clarke is an outsider who is bullied by almost everyone at school. Lexa is the most popular girl at college and the niece of Clarke's new teacher. They meet when the bullying goes too far.


_**Guardian**_

Clarke is a loner

Raven and O are her friends but she keeps them on distance

Lexa is the nice of the new teacher with whom she lives

Anya is her best friend/ Cousin → Daughter of teacher

Clarke is an artist but wants to study medicine

Clarke gets invited to Ms. Woods home to speak about her situation.

Meets Lexa, who is the star-quarterback at Polis-College

Clarke is getting mobbed for being a loner

Clarkes Dad dies → students make fun of her

Lexa is there for her

they fall in love

They have to wait until Clarke graduates

When together → Raven and Anya meet

Chapter 1

Indroduction of Characters

Introductions of the situation

Clarke bein bullied

first class together

Chapter 1: Back in hell **Chapter Text**

 _ _Beep, Beep!__

Slowly Clarke stirred and started rubbing her sleepy eyes. The sound of her alarm never meant something good.

Mostly it was a sign that she has to go back. Back to hell or how others would call it:

High-School.

Slowly, while her body started waking up properly, she became aware of the fact that today she would have to go back to this place in order to start her final year there. Now she was officially a senior and soon it would be over.

If it would have been another two years, she would not be able to get trough this. Everyday was a new version of hell and she had nobody with her to fight this hell and darkness.

Maby this was going to be a good day and they would just let her be.

 _ _Foolish.__

She knew exactly that this was never going to happen. They never let her be.

With all her power she got out of the warm protection of her bed and started her morning-routine with brushing her teeth.

When she looked in the mirror, she saw the smudged makeup, which just looked terrible after crying yesterday. She sighed and started removing it when she heard a bag thrown down onto the ground.

Perfect.

Her mother was back home from her nightshift. It was a rare occasion that mother and daughter would see each other for more than five minutes per day. Abby, her mother, was a doctor at Mount-Weather-Hospital, well, not just any doctor. She was the head-surgeon in this hospital and Clarke admired her deeply for that, but she really wanted to have a mother who has time for her and would listen to her. Abby was a really kind and loving woman but a kind of terrible mother.

She knew nothing. Not about me. Not about all the shit surrounding me. Clarke thought.

She may be a fantastic surgeon and also may be saving a lot of lifes, but she never has thee time to check on her own daughter, from whom she knews, that she has a lot of problems. She just left her on her own to deal with all the bricks her life has been throwing at her.

"Hello, Mother." Clarke greeted the extreme tired woman, who just worked for fourteen hours through the night. "Hello, darling. I´m going to go to sleep, if it won´t bother you. I have to be back at the hospital at 2:30 pm, so I won´t be home when you come back from school." The woman didn´t glance a second time at her daughter, who was now standing in the hallway with slumped shoulders.

She always had hope, that maby someday her mother would eat breakfast with her and have a normal conversation. Without talking about work.

 _ _Foolish.__

She knew exactly that this was never going to happen.

Only her father has been there for her all the time. He would hug her if she felt like breaking down and would murmur soothing words into her ears. He was there for her when others weren´t. He was the parent her mother could never be. He meant the world to her and she wouldn´t know what to do without him. Of course he, too, had work and wasn´t always at home but he would take his time for his daughter. But right now he wasn´t there. He was busy installing some waterpipes in several villages in Africa to provide clean water. She won´t see him for a couple of months and that really hurted like a bitch. Now she had nobody that really cared for her.

"Sleep well, mother." Clarke mumbled while picking up her backpack and hurrying out of the house. There was no use of breakfast when she had to sit there all on her own, not able to talk to her father.

* * *

"That´s exactly why you have to do this!" Octavia nearly shouted at Raven, when Clarke arrived.

"Hey, guys." Clarke greeted them tiredly, She really enjoyed the company of the other two girls who were always there for her but she really couldn´t bring herself to speak openly about everything with them about everything. Some things she would not even tell her father.

"Hey, Griffin. How are you doing?" Raven looked worried into the blue eyes of the blonde. She knew exactly what it meant for Clarke being back here and what it would mean for her: She had to be there for the young artist, even though she always pushed her aside. "Fine. What is Raven supposed to do?" Clarke now adressed Octavia, who has been quit since she arrived. "Ask Anya out."

Clarkes brow furrowed. "Isn´t she the daughter of the new teacher? Mrs. Woods or whats her name?" Octavia nodded. "They moved here a couple of months ago and Raven here has a lady-boner for Anya." At this, Raven slapped her best friend on the arm. "Thats not true and you know it!" Octavia rolled with her eyes. "It is. Now shut up or do you want her to hear our little`conversation here?" Ravens eyes widened and quickly she turned around to find the stunning, young woman walking down the hall.

"I side with O. You have totes a crush on her. Look at you, you are drooling onto your own feet." Clarke laughed a bit shy. "Shut up. I am not drooling." Now Octavia started laughing. "Whatever you say, Reyes."

The bell rang and now the hell started. Raven and Octavia went to theit classes and Clarke was left alone.

The other students passing her were throwing looks at her as if she was a crazy person. Some even spit in her way.

It took all of her strenght not break town and to keep her face stoic. So many emotions just wanted to break free from her and some sobs were forming in her throat. This was nothing new and compared to other things her way to her first class as a senior was nothing. Still, as used to this as she was, there is no point in denying that this really hurt. She was everybody´s punching bag for theit aggressions and could do nothing against this.

 _ _Why can everybody have a normal, uncomplicated life but I can´t?__

This question never left her mind. Ever since she started Highschool this question was in her mind. She was never able to live an easy life and all she wanted was to be at least ignored by the others. She couldn´t take the bullying anymore, not, when her father wasn´t around.

As fast as she could, she maneuvered through the endless halls of Arkadia-High to avoid any insults or worse. She took the seat in the first row, because she knew, that, when she would claim a seat in the rows in the back, the other students would pull her away from that seat and she would be sitting in the front row, where nobody else sat. Like last year she would be there on her own but she didn´t mind. That would mean she was left alone.

She pulled her notebook out of her bag and started drawing some little pictures ont it´s cover to tune out the whispering around her. This was ordinary. They would make fun of her while sitting in the back. She heard everything.

"Good morning, dear students. I am Mrs. Woods. Your new English lit teacher." Clarke looked at the woman with dark skin and a stoic face. From the first second she could tell that it was the best to not mess with that woman. The teacher stood straight in front of her class and glared at the last ones, who were still talking. "I hoped you enjoyed your holidays because the fun is now over. You have to work hard to earn your certificate of graduation." This woman was strict and would never allow any student to do what he or she wants, that was obvious.

"Hell, no shit? We have to study for school?" Clarke flinched at the sound of the vice of the boy sitting in the last row.

Finn Collins.

Her ex-boyfriend, who did never really care about her and fucked at least three other girls behind her back. When she found out, she broke up with him and, even if she didn´t think that was possible at that point of time, everything became worse. Finn laughed at her and started telling everybody stories about Clarke. He made an fool out of her and everybody laughed at her and remarked her with some emberassing insiders about her.

But clearly he was as dumb as she suspected.

"Better be quiet Mr. Collins or one week detention is not enough." She growled at that idiot in the last row. "One week? Are you serious?" He exclaimed and Clarke couldn´t stop that small chuckle that escaped her lips. "Quiet, bitch! Losers as you are not in the position to make fun of us." Now John Murphy shoot back at her and Clarke bit her lip. She knew exactly what was going to happen after class. "Enough! Three weeks detention for both of you!" That should feel satisfying. They were getting finally punished but the only thing Clarke felt was fear.

After class hell would break loose and she won´t be able to do anything against it.

A while later the class progressed and Clarke watched the clock moving forward. She didn´t want the class to end, because if it ends, she would not be able to escape. They were going to beat the shit out of her and blame her for being punished.

She tried to find some relaxation in drawing, while listening to Mrs. Woods. She liked that woman. Finally there was a teacher at this school, who didn´t allow her students to do whatever they wanted, no, she was strict and held her students on a tight leash.

"Oh, look, the loser is drawing again. She has no friends to whom she could talk." Again the idiot from the last row. He will never stop making fun of her, not even with Mrs. Woods around. "Collins!" Clarke saw that yell coming and flinchend in anticipation. "To the principal, now!" Clarke nearly felt the death-glare that his eyes shot at her right in this moment. "You´re gonna pay for that, stupid bitch." He growled at Clarke, when Mrs. Woods dragged him out of the classroom.

Fear seeped through Clarked veins and almost as soon as Mrs. Woods and Finn were around the corner, Clarke gathered all of her stuff and hurried out of the room. Running through the halls, she still heard the laughter of her classmates that erupted as she left the room.

She just ran. Ran away from this whole bullshit she wasn´t sure she could take anymore.

 _ **Chapter 2**_

Indroduction Lexa

College day

Footballpractice

Swap to Clarke

Clarke runs

Clarke deep in thoughts

Finn and John find her

Lexa started her day with her daily run around the campus and then on top of the small hill from wich you were able to see the whole campus and the city surrounding it. She loved the view and often she would just stand there for a little while and watch the sunrise.

Today the colors reached from dark purples to bright oranges and she watched it in awe. Sometimes she wished that she would be able to capture every unique sunrise. Maby as a drawing. She often tried to take pictures but no photograph was able to reflect these perfect colors.

But there was another wish. A wish that was a lot stronger than the wish to capture the sunrise onto a picture.

Lexa wanted to share this beautiful view with someone. Someone who would be with her not just because she was rich or popular. Mostly the girls she went out with were just after her fame and money and didn´t really care about Lexa as a person. No, she wanted someone who would stand here with her and watch the sun rise. Someone she could hold tightly and who really cares for her.

Lexa sighed.

She knew exactly that this was most likely never going to happen. Everybody just saw her as the heir of the Woods Inc. security service, one of the worldwide best law-firms, the daughter of Ryder and Becca Woods and the rich star quarterback of the football-team. Everybody saw Alexandria Woods but nobody saw just Lexa. The person she wanted to be.

A glance on her watch told her that it wa stime to return to her Apartment to get ready for her day at college. Law school was tiring and kind of boring but she had to study this so she could take over her parents law-firm one day. She started her run back home, lost in thoughts.

The only thing she really looked forward to was football-practice today. She was captain and had to keep her teammates fit, so they would have a real chance to win the state-championship again, just like last year. She was also curious of the new freshmen, that would join her team this year. Last year they were a complete disappointment. They were not bad at all but nobody really had the wit to keep up with her team and the other competitioners for the state-championship.

Lexa herself was a junior and it would be the second last time she would compete in this tournament. After college she wouldn´t have the time to keep playing football since she would start working in her parents business, eventhough she really didn´t want to.

She ascended the stairs to her apartment in the luxus-complex of the college. "Morning Lexa." Lexa stopped her way up and rolled with her eyes.

Ontari.

 _ _This girl just couldn´t accept an simple no.__

"Good Morning, Ontari." Lexa just replied. She hoped that this would be a short stairway-conversation, but, what was she thinking? It was Ontari freaking Ace. There was no piont in hoping for a short conversation. "I saw your practice yesterday. Nice work." Lexa already knew where this would be going. Ontari wanted to find a nice, smooth way to ask her out, even if Lexa already declined a couple of times.

"Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it." She mumbled and started walking the way to her apartment. "You know," Ontari started again and Lexa couldn´t resist sighing. "My offer still stands. Dinner and a movie, nothing serious. I just want to go on a date with you." Lexa wanted to curse. This girl was really a pain in the ass and that was a nice term for her behavior. Sometimes she would just stand there in the hallway and wait for Lexa. "Thanks but you know that I have kind of a busy schedule. I am sorry but there is no time for dating."

She gave this response all the time, sometimes she would even add that she isn´t interested, but that was it. It was a obvious no and everybody would get that. Everybody but Ontari.

Lexa didn´t want to waste her time at fake-dating when she knew that this woman wasn´t the one for her. Ontari clearly wasn´t. She was more like a crazy fangirl, who happen to live in the apartment below Lexa. One word to decribe her?

 _ _Creepy__.

"I have to go. Sorry, Ontari." Lexa excused herself and ascended the last few steps to her apartment in record-time. She just wanted to flee from that crazy stalker girl. "I am at your practice this afternoon, if you don´t mind." She heard the last sentence and nearly shouted that it would bother her a lot when Ontari would watch her but that would be against any politeness, her parents taught her when she was still young.

* * *

Her day was more or less a boring day at college. She went to her economics-class as well as her courses for law and then she went to practice.

The new players were not as bad as the ones before. They were more like raw diamonds, which needed to be taken care of. Only a couple of training-sessions and Lexa would know which one of them was worthy to play with them. She couldn´t afford any weak links in the chain of her team. If they were a weak spot, she would push them further and if that is not enough, she would kick them off the team.

She really pushed her teammates to their limits. They were groaning in exhaustion when she called them over one last time.

"Well done. I am proud to say that this team, when we trained a couple of times, has the chance to be one of the best in the history of Ark-University. When we give our best in every game this year, we can win the championship and that should be everybody´s aim for this year. Work hard, keep up with your teammates and fight ´til the end of every game. If you can fulfill these tasks, you are a worthy part of our team. If not, you should rethink your choice to join us. We have ambitious goals but if everybody pushes himself or herself to his or her limits, then we can reach them." Lexa was well-known for her pep-talks and really enjoyed motivating her teammates.

"Blood must have blood!" The team shouted in unison for the first time this year and it sent chills down Lexa´s spine. This was going to be a good, successful year, at least in football.

After her shower, Lexa walked the way back to her apartment, thinking. It was a good start that this year her team seemed to click smoothly. This was going to make a lot of things easier but football was one thing her heart ached for.

The second was love. Love she never really gave to someone and nobody really gave to her. If she wanted she could bang every girl at Ark-U but that was not her way. No. She wanted to love honestly. She wanted finally to be with someone that really cared for her.

Of course, she had Anya. Her younger cousin and also best friend but that wouldn´t fill the void in her chest. She was aching to love but nowhere was Ms. Perfect to be found.

* * *

Clarke ran. She feared what she left behind but also, she knew there was no escape.

 _ _Soon they will find me,__ Clarke thought while running.

Finn Collins and John Murphy would track her down as fast as they were out of principal Jaha´s office. They would be coming for her and beat the hell out of her because,

 _ _That´s just how it works.__

Clarke Griffin would be punished badly for that slip in class today. She chuckled at Finn and Murphy and that won´t be forgiven, not by them. She knew this already too well. How often did they beat the crap out of her for such a minor reason? No idea. She lost count in sophomore-year and that was now two years ago.

Her whole class had laughed at her again for running away. They blamed her for being wimp. They even said that she deserved being beaten up by the two douchebags for being only Clarke. That was mostly the reason she was bullied, made fun of or beaten up:

 _ _She was Clarke Griffin.__

Clarke Griffin the stupid daydreamer, artist, coward and girl without real friends.

Slowly she really started believing what the said. Maby she was really the weird artist who would just paint when she was bored during classes. Maby she was a coward, because there was no other explanation for her short-circuited runaway from school. But you know what topped it all?

 _ _She was bisexual.__

Her classmates were all really closeminded and she lived in a small town where this was clearly unique. It shouldn´t be that way but it was. They would make fun of her looking after girls and boys, sometimes they would even call her a slut because of that. Eventhough she was far away from being the slut they always they she was. She was one of the few girls in school who never had a real relationship. Of course that was due to the fact that nobody wanted to be seen with her. That would make them a target, too. And even if she really wanted to love, she wasn´t able to put somebody through that. No. Nobody should live in this hell. Nobody deserved that. exept from her apparently.

She ran further. Into the woods surrounding the small city. There she could breathe again and her thoughts would leave her alone as long as she was there. Nobody was able to find her when she was there and finally she was alone.

Her legs were aching as well as her chest when she took a breath to regain some strengh. A glance on her watch told her that she ran for about half an hour since she stormed out of that hell. The hell she has to return to.

 _ _"How can I end this?"__ She asked out loud.

Of course there was no response. Nobody knew what she really was going through and there was only one person in this entire world that cared for her. Her father. And he was thousands of miles away. She knew it was stupid to wish that he would come home and return to her, listen to her and engulf her in one of his bear-hugs. That was stupid because he was doing something good for people in need.

 _ _But wasn´t she someone in need, too?__

Not as much as the poor people in Arfica, that was obvious, but nonetheless, she needed him. Or someone who she could trust with her problems. Someone who really cared and not only was a temporary factor in her life. Someone who would take her hand an lead her out of this deep, black hole that her life was.

"There´s gotta be somebody for me like that." She murmured, eventhough she didn´t really believe this quote anymore. It was fom one of her favourite songs, that sometimes helped her getting out of her depression but now she didn´t dare to hope for someone like that.

"There she is."

Clarkes eyes widened and she wanted to run again.

 _ **Chapter 3 Never judge a book by it´s cover**_

 _There she is."_

 _Clarke´s eyes widened and she wanted to run again._

But there was no use in running. Finn stood right behind her while Murphy stood in front of her. There was no possibility of running away again. She had to face the inevitable and get it over with, because she couldn´t escape.

"You shouldn´t have laughed at us. We got suspended for a week because of you and you know we can´t let you get away with that, right?" Finn was furious, that much she could tell from knowing him.

When they were still more or less together, she knew that this growl was her cue to go, sometimes even run away from him. When he spoke with that voice he was about to throw furniture or books at her because he never was able to control his rage. How often did she have to lie to her mom, because she needed some stitches after being punched or thrown things at? No idea. It has been way too often to count.

"It was a mistake I know that." She whispered in a barely audible voice. But by the glint of amusement in her tormentor´s eyes she could tell that he heard it. "You know what making such a mistake means, right?" He said with an evil smirk planted on his face. Clarke just nodded. Fear was seeping through her whole body and she started shaking.

She should be used to this by now but everytime it gets worse.

"Murphy hold her for me." Finn said with a smug look on his face. Clarke swallowed and then she felt the first punch into her gut.

He hit her with enough force to nearly make her vomit. She bent over and bit on her lip. As much as she wanted to break right now, she couldn´t do that. That only would increase the fun the two tormentors were having.

From then on she felt punches all over her body and she already felt some bruises forming. After every strike she prayed that it would become boring for Finn but it didn´t.

 _Foolish._

She knew that nothing other than her fading out and laying on the ground unconscious would stop them. The pain became nearly unbearable and she just wanted to fade out already but of course her body wouldn´t let her. She stayed awake and bit into her lower lip with enough force to make it bleed but that was the only thing she could do to forget some of the pain caused by the young man´s strikes.

He punched mercilessly and hit nearly every inch of her body.

"Say you´re sorry! Say it!" Finn barked at her while punching her in the stomach. "I am sorry! Please." She wimpered as she felt another strike into her upperbody. Finn just laughed at her response. "You think I believe you? Say it again and promise you will never do this again!" She swallowed and just as she was about to say something, she felt a fist in her face. The knuckles where hitting her nose with unbearable force. The blood immediatly ran out of her nose and stained her blouse. She screamed in pain.

He never hit her in the face before. It would give away, that he had beaten her up. Now her nose was bleeding and from the small _crack_ she knew it must be broken badly. "Finn, please! I am so sorry! I will never insult you again!" She cried in pain and defeat. Until now she had remained strong but now she broke down. Tears where mixing with the blood on her face and she whimpered hopelessly in pain. "Finn, please!" She said again, barely noticable.

The last thing she felt was another pair of knuckles, hitting her just above her right eye. Then everything went black. Her legs couldn´t hold her weight anymore and she broke down. Murphy loosened is iron-grip on her and let her fall on the cold, wet ground.

Her body felt numb and despite the throbbing pain in her upperbody and her nose, she felt nothing. Maby, because she just didn´t want to feel anything at all. She couldn´t take it anymore.

* * *

Lexa tucked her small bag with clothes for the weekend in the trunk of her Ford Mustang and sighed. She promised to her aunt and her Cousin that she would come over and visit them for the weekend. Indra started her new Job at Arkadia-High not that long ago and she had to check if Anya was doing alright.

 _At least I don´t have to stay with my parents,_ Lexa thought.

Spending a weekend with her parents would have been a nightmare. They would drag her into one of the town´s fanciest restaurtants and the only topic would be work. She lost Count on how often her parents asked her if she would be interested into a manager-position for the time after college. The times they really asked her about something that really mattered to she could count with her fingers. It did never matter to them that her daughter got a good and hard to achieve, scholarship, because she was a good quarterback. No. They are most likely embarrassed that their daughter was into sports and not that much into the latest law-cases against celebrities.

They didn´t even visit one of her games in the past and they probably never will but you know what?

She didn´t care anymore. Of Course they were her parents but her real family were Indra, Gustus and Anya. Her aunt and uncle have always been there for her and most of her time she lived with them. Her own parents never were at home when she was younger. Indra was like the mother her own has never been and Gustus has always protected her when her own father became angry at her again for breaking an vase with her football. Her father would yell at her and then she would run into the warm, protective arms of her uncle. But there was one Person that mattered most to her.

Anya.

She may only be her Cousin but deep down they both knew that they were more than that. They were sisters. Not by blood but by a stronger bond than that. They always had each others back. No matter what happens.

At the thought of her little Lexa grinned and pushed the gas of her car a bit harder. She couldn´t wait to see her again.

"Lex!" Anya beamed as she finally saw her cousin again. Lexa didn´t even try to hide her giant grin that spread all over her face. Both met in a nearly bone-crushing hug and held onto eachother.

"I missed you." Anya murmured into the crook of her cousins neck. There is just one person she would say that to and this person was finally back and holding her tightly. "I missed you, too, An. I am sorry I never came home." Anya chuckled and gave the taller girl a small push. "Don´t be sorry. I know you have to work hard. I am hust happy you are back." Lexa grinned and kissed the crown of the sandy-blonde hair. "Me, too. Tell me, how was the first week as a senior?"

Anya rolled with her eyes when she thought about it. "I would say eventful."

Lexa narrowed her eyes. She hated it when the smaller girl was oblivious. "What do you mean eventful? If I remember correctly you were the one that said, I quote :"This school is fucking boring! Nothing ever happens!" " She let out a small chuckle and immediatly got a light puch on her arm.

"Well, this week was eventful. It started on monday with John and Finn being suspended for disturbing mom´s lesson. Then this little Griffin bitch had chuckled at them. Just a few seconds after mom dragged John and Finn to the principal´s office, Griffin stormed out of the classroom and ran away like a coward. On tuesday she came back to school with a broken nose, a split lip and her eyebrow was cut open. That girl is literally too dumb to simply run." Anya laughed at the idea of Clarke falling over her own feet. That was just too precious.

"Okay now I get what you meant when you said eventful." Lexa mumbled. She was a bit lost in thoughts. What makes Anya talk that badly about the other girl from her class? She assumed that there must be a reason, simply because she knew Anya. Her Cousin would never make fun of someone without any reason.

"That isn´t even everything! On thursday Raven Reyes, I already told you about her, asked me out." Lexa lifted one eyebrow at the excitement of her cousin. Anya was more of a no-stings-attached-type and never really dated anyone longer than a couple of weeks. "Is that the mechanic you swooned after?" Lexa knew already it was that girl but she wanted to tease Anya a little bit. "Yeah. She works at the garage where your Mustang got tuned up." Anya´s eyes beamed when she talked about this Raven and that made Lexa truely happy for her little cousin. She deserved all luck on this planet.

"Right. The one evening you were visiting me you just wouldn´t stop talking about this ´hot latina chick´." As soon as Lexa said these words, Anya´s face became equal as red as the tomatoes in their garden. "Stop quoting me!" She exclaimed embarrassed.

Lexa loved it. She was the only Person in this world who was able to really embarass her cousin and there was nothing funnier as seing the bad-girl from Arkadia-High blush. "Sorry, can´t help it." She smirked as Anya rolled with her eyes.

"Hello Anya!" Indra shouted from the front door. She just came back from work and didn´t expect Lexa to be home again.

"Hi Mom! Lexa is here!" Anya shouted back from the kitchen where she and Lexa sat. They have been catching up for a couple more minutes and told eachother about their lifes. Of course, Anya only spoke of the wonderful Raven Reyes.

They both walked to the front-door to greet the woman who was a mother to both of them.

"Hello, Lexa. It is nice to see you back home." She greeted the girl who was a daughter to her. "Hey, Indra. I know I promised to visit before the schoolyear starts but I had a really busy schedule with bringing the team back on track and keeping up with my studies." The older woman smiled and stroke the back of her niece. "It is good that you´re ambitious. But I wouldn´t mind if you visit us more often."

Lexa smiled. This woman was a real gift from heaven. "I am planning to."

They stood there a while longer just hugging eachother tightly after not seing the other one for a couple of months. In this house, in the arms of this woman and with her cousin right behind her, Lexa felt home. For her, her home wasn´t one her parents mansions. No. Home was right here.

A while later they sat down in the living-room to catch up.

"And how is your new job at Arkadia going?" Lexa asked curiously. What she heard from Anya was that Indra still was as strict as she was when she was her homeschool-teacher for a short amount of time. She never dared to disturb that woman because she knew that the mildest punishment she would get was a week of detention.

"All in all I am happy to teach there but some students really seem to like being punished for bad behavior. I bet Anya told you already what happend on monday, hasn´t she?" Lexa nodded and the next moment the face oof her aunt became stoic. There was not a tid-bit of facial-expression left and that told Lexa that the older woman was thinking. "What is it, Indra?" She asked curiously.

"Than you have already heard about Clarke Griffin, right?" Indra asked, a bit of sorrow in her voice.

"The girl that stormed out of you class on monday? Yes, Anya told me about her. Why are you so concerned about her?" Lexa had no idea why it bothered her aunt that much that a student used the best opportunity to slip out of class. She admitted that it seemed weird to her that this girl came back on tuesday with several injuries but she believed Anya when her cousin said that Clarke could have tripped while running.

"I talked with some teachers about her after she disappeared for the rest of the day. She is bullied by nearly every student in our school and I think I know why she ran away from School." Lexa tilted her head to the left.

"I took Finn Collins and John Murphy, two students of mine, to the principal´s office after they insulted her brutally in class. They called her names like ´loser´ for example. Well, as we left the room, Finn said something to her I couldn´t understand but I believe it was a threat." Indra looked really serious and this meant she was completely sure about what she was saying.

Lexa furrowed her brow. She was able to figure out on her own what Indra suspected the boys have done. "You think that this girl didn´t trip over her own feet. You believe they searched her after being suspended. You think they have caused her injuries by beating her up?" She asked disbelievingly. Indra had a Point. The whole story with tripping was strange, unrealistic even, but she didn´t want to believe that this was true.

Indra nodded solemnly. "The other teachers said that that wouldn´t be the first time something like that happened. But everytime someone tried to talk to her about it, she would shut down and lie. As Long there is no evidence we can´t do anything against Collins and Murphy."

Eventhough Lexa didn´t know the girl, she felt for her.

She herself had no idea what it was like to be unpopular, an outsider even. She had always been on the top of the society but that didn´t change the feeling of anger bubbling in her chest. This girl was an outsider and even her cousin, her cousin from whom she thought she knew well, was part of the group mobbing one single girl. She couldn´t believe this.

 _Nobody deserved something like that._

Chapter 4: Someday, somehow I am going to make it alright

"Lexa? I know that look. What are you planning?" Indra asked her niece, who stared really concentrated out of the big window in the living-room. When she stared like that she was thinking or planning something. Indra could tell that from the times she saw Lexa planning pranks or something like that when she was still a child.

"Did you talk to her parents? They have to know, you have to share your concerns in order to help that girl." Lexa mumbled, lost in thoughts. Lexa knew that Indra had to do something because this went too far. The future-lawyer didn´t know that girl but she felt the urge to protect her from this cruel world full of assholes. "Her tormentors have to be put behind bars or they will not only endanger Clarke Griffin, but more like the whole town. When they beat the hell out of one girl for just being who she is, what would the do when something happens, what is against their opinion?"

Lexa was determined that she had to help that girl. If not in person than through pulling the strings to make this shit end. There was no real explanation for her need to protect the unknown girl but she had to.

Indra sighed and started rubbing her temples. "You are right. I should have called them earlier. Clarke would probably never tell her parents all that herself. You stay here and think further on how you want to help her and I will call them." Indra left the living-room and went into her study. Lexa was left alone on the couch and was thinking.

Before she really could do something, she needed to talk to Anya. She hated arguing with her cousin but Anya was pretty popular at that Highschool from hell and if she would stop herassing Clarke, it was a possible start to end things.

Anya was her best friend but she couldn´t let her bully another girl who was already alone and everybody´s personal punchingbag for aggressions. That was wrong and Lexa had to stop that.

"Anya? I have to talk to you." She said calmly while knocking on the younger girl´s door. Eventhough her voice didn´t give it away, she was nearly trembling of anger. "Now!" She growled when there was no real response other than a small grunt. Lexa just walked into the room and didn´t bother to wait for her cousin anymore.

"What´s wrong?" Her cousin asked, rubbing her eyes. Obviously Anya had tried to take a nap but this was far more important and Lexa couldn´t and wouldn´t wait for it.

"What has Clarke done that you speak so badly about her?" Lexa asked with a growl and stared the younger girl down. "Wow, what happend to ´I am happy to see you again, Anya´?" Lexa curled her Hands into fists and glared at her. "Answer my question!" She snapped and Anya took a step back, afraid of the older girl she barely has seen that angry before.

She had no real answer to Lexa´s question. Everybody in school bullied Clarke or at least ignored her constantly. Clearly, that was not an answer she could give to Lexa but lying just would make it worse. Lexa always knew, whether she was telling the truth or not. They knew eachother for far too Long.

"I thought so. You don´t have a proper reason, am I right?" Lexa asked, still a death glare directed at Anya. The older girl huffed and shook her head. That changed the whole image she had from her best-friend and cousin.

"What the hell are you thinking?! Do you have an idea what you do to that girl without having a reason?! For Christ sake! Clarke is suffering and may never recover from what you little brats are doing to her! She may even hurt herself because of you wanting to be famous! Did you even really think about what might have happend after Clarke stormed out of school?!" Lexa shouted at her merciless. There was no reason to stay calm.

Anya stood in front of her completely enraged cousin who shouted at her. There was no point in denying what Lexa said because it was simply true. She spoke badly of Clarke because that was something everybody did. When you where seen talking to her or something you were at the bottom of the "food-chain" of Arkadia-High with her. So Anya just stood her and looked on the floor.

"Oh right! You believe that she was too dumb to run and fell over her own feet! Let me tell you what really happend! Collins and Murphy punched the hell out of her after they got suspended! They broke her nose, not she herself! Are you just that dumb to believe into something like that or did you just ignore the truth?! Answer me!" Lexa´s anger just became more when the younger girl didn´t answer. "Defend yourself or is there no way to defend yourself?!"

Anya shifted her weight uncomfortably from on foot to the other and bit her lower lip to stop it from trembling. Clarke didn´t deserve being beaten up and she felt terrible, if not horrible. Lexa has never been that angry towards her and it really felt terrible. "I..." She started but her voice wavered and she wasn´t able to form a complete sentence.

"How can you even sleep at night?! You are destroying somebody´s life!" Indra was most likely now aware of the fight, too. Lexa´s voice was audible in the whole house and there was no way she could overhear that.

"I don´t know! Are you happy now?! There is no reason and I still don´t understand why she became everybody´s target but I didn´t want to end up being an outsider myself!"

Lexa´s eyes widened in shock. She always thought that Anya was truely a selfless Person, who would never say something like that but apparently, she knew her cousin not the slightest. That girl in front of her was a stranger.

"Bullying destroys lifes! Some Young People killed themself because they were bullied! And you just admitted that your own popularity is more important to you than an other person´s life! I hope you can live with yourself because I can´t stand somebody like that!" With that Lexa rushed off and slammed the door behind her. She had no intention of speaking to her cousin again until the younger girl understood what she had been doing.

"Lexa, what was that about?" Indra stood in the kitchen when Lexa let herself slump into one of the seats at the dinner-table. The older woman had only heard enough small parts of the fight to get the topic the fight was about. It had been about Clarke.

"Ask that bully herself!" Lexa snapped at her aunt who now added the last mental puzzle-piece to understand the whole Situation. "Anya bullied Clarke, too?" She asked. She didn´t want to believe that her own daughter would end up bullying another classmate just one week after school started.

"I Quote ´that Griffin bitch is too dumb to run´. She is a part from this whole group of ideots destroying the life of a young woman." Lexa´s anger vanished a little bit and opened some space for exhaustion.

Indra was silent. Anya would have to face the consequences of her behavior soon and she would show no mercy, even if that means expelling her own child from school. It was Anya´s choice to do that and she would have to bear whatever her punishment for this inexcusable behavior. At home, Indra had to think of an proper consequence. She sighed and rubbed her temples.

Her own child did this.

"I talked to Dr. Griffin. We agreed on meeting tomorrow afternoon at this place. I want you to be around to make sure Clarke feels comfortable. She probably would shut down when I, as her teacher, want to talk to her, but you are nearly the same age as her and maby she will open up to you." Lexa nodded, eventhough she didn´t believe that Clarke would open up to her immediatly. She was an absolute stranger and right now Clarke didn´t even know Lexa exists.

"There is one last thing I want you to do." Indra spoke up again and faced Lexa directly. "Visit your parents and create a waterproof law-suit against Collins and Murphy. They are the best lawyers in America and I need these boys being put behind bars."

* * *

The rest of the week they left Clarke more or less alone. Mostly because Finn and John weren´t there.

They never went that far before. Sometimes they had shoved her around or punched her into her gut but this time they went much further. Some bruises were already fading and the cut-open eyebrow healed nicely but her nose still throbbed in pain.

"Clarke!" Clarke flinched at her mother´s voice. Normally when her mother wanted to talk to her she just came into her bedroom and wouldn´t shout her name through the entire house. Something was wrong, Clarke knew that and she also imagined what her mother just found out.

When Clarke dragged herself back home on monday, she had told her mother that she had an accident with her bike and that she fell badly. Abby didn´t question her but by the look in her eyes, Clarke could tell that her mother didn´t believe that story. But Clarke felt no urge to tell her the truth. It wasn´t like they really have a close bond. Abby had tried to convince Clarke to tell her what is happening in school before, but her daughter always shut down and would say that it was nothing.

"What´s up, mom?" She aked as soon as she stepped into her mothers study. The woman sat slumped in her chair and had tears in her eyes. Sobs were making their way out of the older woman´s throat.

"Tell me that this isn´t true!" She cried. The mother couldn´t believe that her own child wouldn´t tell her something like that. She really failed as a mother.

"I can´t." Clarke said bluntly. She knew exactly what her mother was talking about and there was no point in denying it. Her mother knew the truth regardless of what Clarke told her. Now the tears Clarke held back for the whole week broke free and were soaking her cheeks. "I can´t."

Abby shot up from her seat and engulfed her daughter in a tight hug. It felt a bit weird for both of them because the last time they hugged was years ago but it also felt right. Clarke nuzzeled her face into her mothers neck and just let all her walls, she built up, crumble and finally break down. Her tears were now soaking her mothers scrubs. Abby held onto her daughter tightly as if she would break apart if she would loosen her grip.

"Oh, honey. Why did you never tell me?" That was a dumb question and both women knew the answer to it but it soothed them both.

They stood there a for long time. Clarke clutching onto her mothers scrubs and soaking them with tears. Abby holding her daughter to save her from falling apart and drawing soothing patterns on her daughter´s back.

Once they broke apart, Abby cupped the girl´s cheek and looked into her sky-blue eyes with her own hazel-ones. "I failed you badly as a mother." She whispered in defeat and Clarke shook her head violently. They both knew it was true but Clarke didn´t want her mother to feel that way. As if she had done nothing the right way. "I did and you know that. I will change and do what I should have done a long time ago." She whispered and once again gathered her broken daughter in her arms.

Clarke wasn´t sure what her mother meant when she said that but it didn´t matter in this moment. Her mother had finally promised to be there for her and that meant the world to her. That didn´t mean she will forgive her mother everything but it was a step in the right direction.

"Who told you?" She asked a while later, still in her mother´s arms. "Indra Woods. She is your teacher, right?" Clarke nodded into the crook of the older woman´s neck. "She told me what she thought had happenend on monday. We are going to speak with her tomorrow afternoon, is that okay, honey?" She mumbled. Again, Clarke nodded quietly.

It was finally the time to talk to somebody about all this, even if it would make it a lot worse, if Finn and John would find out she told someone. But she wouldn´t remain quiet. She wanted simply to hide and never come out of her room again, yes, but she had to jump over her own shadow and talk to her teacher, who she did just knew for a week. But there was something that made her trust that woman, she didn´t know what but she did trust her.

"Ms. Woods also said that her niece would be around and that this girl really want´s to help you. Indra talked to her first and she made your teacher finally call me." Abby murmured and Clarke knitted her eyebrows. "Why would that girl want to help me? I don´t know her." Clarke asked in confusion.

 _Nobody would ever help her without a reason_.

"There are some good people in this world, Clarke. They just want to help."

Clarke knew that that was true. Her father was one of them. But she also doubted the motives of the other girl. Her teacher´s niece was a stranger who may only know her name and nothing more about Clarke. Okay technically that´s not true, she knew what Clarke´s problems at school were, but other than that? Why would someone be interested in a nobody like Clarke?

* * *

The following day just crept by at the slowest possible pace. Clarke was lost in thoughts the whole day, afraid of what consequences the meeting with Ms. Woods would have.

 _They will never find out._

Clarke thought again and again while her mother was driving them to Ms. Wood´s home. It was meant to soothe her at least a little bit but of course it didn´t. There was no way she could stay calm right now. Fear, panic and a gigantic pool of other emotions were making her body tremble. She was afraid but she also knew that a talk with Ms. Woods offered the biggest chance to finally get out of this.

"Are you ready, honey?" Abby asked concerned. She had noticed the tremor that shook her daughter violently throughout the whole ride. Clarke hadn´t even noticed her mother had pulled the car to a stop in front of a big house. She didn´t even know in which part of the town she was.

She swallowed and nodded slowly. She wasn´t ready but that wouldn´t change anything.

They walked to the front door and rang the bell. Clarkes breath hitched as she heard movements from inside. Her last hope, that her teacher wasn´t at home, died a slow death.

 _I have to do this._

When the door opened, it wasn´t her teacher opening the door...

It was an absolutely stunning looking woman and she couldn´t help staring at her perfect face. It was as if it was created personally by god.

"Hello. My Name is Lexa. I assume you are Clarke and Dr. Griffin?"

 _ **Chapter 5**_

 _"Hello. My Name is Lexa. I assume you are Clarke and Dr. Griffin?"_

The voice of the young woman in front of them rang through Clarke´s ears. She sounded really polite and matter-of-factly but Clarke couldn´t help hearing that little tid-bit of concern in this angelic voice. Somehow she didn´t hate it that much as she did hate it when her mother sounded concerned, not that this happend often in the past. Definetly not.

"Yes. And you are Ms. Woods niece, then?" Her mother´s voice slowly dragged her out of her thoughts and when she was finally really aware what or rather who was standing in front of her she swallowed. Not only the voice was angelic, no.

Her entire face was perfectly shaped, almost symmetrically. She wore a white button-up shirt and black pants which hugged her tighs perfectly. It was as if Clarke was standing in front of an angel. And her eyes. They topped everything.

The most beautiful green Clarke had ever seen in her entire life. They reminded her of the deep forrest that surrounded her parent´s lodge. She spent almost every holiday there, but since her mother became the leading surgeon in the hospital, they never went there again. But this green flooded her mind with happy memories, those, which were far away now, almost forgotten.

"Yes. Please come in. My aunt has a lot to talk about with you. I will join you too if that is okay for you, Clarke." She showed the smallest of smiles and Clarke had only one wish. She wanted to see that again.

But right now?

Right now she didn´t know what to say and had to think of an answer. It was almost funny how many people now seemed to care what happened to her. She couldn´t believe that this was true. They must have other intentions behind helping her or why else would a complete stranger offer her her help? She wanted to believe that this girl in front of her only wished to help but her mind told her that these people were rare, almost non-existent.

She cleared her throat, unsure of what to say. "I guess it´s fine." She mumbled finally.

Again this little smile flashed onto Lexa´s face as she and her mother stepped into the house, which was slightly larger than Clarke would expect from a teacher.

Lexa led them trough the big hallway into the even bigger living-room, where Ms. Woods sat on the Couch. Obviously waiting for them.

As soon as they entered the room, Clarkes legs didn´t want to carry her just one step further. She couldn´t move nor breathe and found herself staring fearfully into her mothers eyes. She had to do this, she knew that. It was her only choice for a better future but she thought that maybe she isn´t strong enough to go into this conversation. Her mother just gave her an reassuring stroke on her back and nodded encouragely.

"Hello, Clarke. Mrs. Griffin." Indra stood up and shook their hands. Clarke nearly seached for the stoic look and the strict attitude the woman always wore, but both was nowhere to be found. Indra smiled at her and motioned for them to sit down.

Clarke sat next to her mother on the opposite side from her teacher and Lexa of the u-shaped couch. She fiddled with the hem of her shirt as if she was a little five-year old girl that had to confess to her mother that she destroyed her favourite vase.

For a short moment, when she finally had the courage to look up, her gaze landed on the young woman next to her teacher. There was still this slightly concerned expression, planted on her face. Clarke wanted it to disappear, not because she hated the concern written in her face, like she does when she sees this look on other people. No. She just wanted to see that small smile again, that this girl offered her before.

Then she looked away and mumbled something that sounded at least a bit like a greeting.

"First of all I want to thank you for coming. I know this has to be a hard step for you, Clarke." Indra offered her a slight smile. Would she have been in an other situation, Clarke would probably have been afraid. That woman normally never smiled.

"I have to thank you for calling me. If it wasn´t for our talk yesterday, I would have never really known what happend to my daughter. So thank you." Abby didn´t smile, the look in her face absolutely sincere.

"Well, I should have called you earlier but I wasn´t sure if my suspicions were true. I still don´t. But Lexa over here convinced me that I had to call you." Abby nodded in the direction of the young woman and waited for her daughter´s teacher to continue.

"Clarke, I know that you are afraid right now but you can be completely honest with me and also with Lexa. She will listen to you as much as I will, you understand?"

Clarke bit her bottom lip. She wasn´t ready, but she´ll never be. There would never be the right time to talk about such a thing. She nodded mutely. Somehow it felt nice to have someone, who listenes to you and it made her feel at least a tiny bit at ease.

"Okay. I will be straight forward. Clarke, I need you to tell me what happend on that day. You don´t have to tell me everything but I want to understand this whole thing, okay?" Indra looked at her with somehow sad eyes.

Clarke looked up and bit her lower lip. She swallowed and tried to gain enough courage to tell the truth.

 _They aren´t here. You can tell them everything._

Her mind raced, unable to form a complete sentence.

"Honey, it´s fine. You can do it." Her mother rubbed her back and looked worriedly at her daughter. She was right.

 _She could do it._

Again she lifted her gaze and stared directly into green eyes that watched her couriously. She took one last breath and began to explain.

"It happend when you took them to principal´s office for their comments in your lesson. I had chuckled at them for being punished for their behavior. I should have known better." She had to take a break. Tears were gathering in her eyes and she had to fight to keep her voice even. "Before they left the classroom with you...they threatened me that I would regret my mistake to chuckle. Then...I don´t know. Suddenly I had to run away, I didn´t want to face what was coming for me and was afraid...they found me nonetheless." The last part was a mere whisper and barely audible. Her voice broke and the tears broke free. They soaked her cheeks. She couldn´t look up to the women sitting across from her, too ashamed of her break-down.

"Clarke...did they hurt you?" It wasn´t Indra´s voice nor the voice of her mother. It was the voice that belonged to the green-eyed stranger. It was as if that girl knew that Clarke needed to be pushed. There was no other way to get everything out of the young girl with tears streaming down her cheeks. For the first time since she began explaining, Clarke looked up and met green eyes, full of concern and...was it anger?

Again Clarke took a deep breath, trying to regain some strengh. They had to know everything. And the next part she had to talk about was a part of everything. Clarke nodded. "Yes...they somehow tracked me down in the forrest where I was trying to calm down...I felt safe there. I thought...I thought nobody would ever find me beneath these trees but...but they did. I don´t know how but they did." Sobs were trying to get out of Clarkes throat and she had to put all her strengh into not breaking down completely.

Again she found green eyes watching her. Somehow this green calmed her down...made it possible for her to breathe. Ther was no explanation for this but the eyes of that stranger gave her more strengh than the reassuring strokes on her back by her mother. She didn´t even feel them as long as she looked into green.

"They found me...and said somehing like: "You know that you have to pay for your mistake, right?" I can not remember every word but they didn´t matter at all. I begged them to leave me alone, if I would never do something like that again but...they didn´t listen. Murphy grabbed me and made it impossible for me to get away...I couldn´t do anything. Finn...punched me all over my body. There was...there was not a single part of my body that was free of bruises. I cried and begged them to stop but it didn´t matter what I said. Finn wouldn´t stop, not until...my...nose was broken and every part of my body hurt like hell. The only let me go when I lost my conciousness." Clarkes lip trembled and she stroke over the small scar that was left from her cut-open eyebrow.

Tears. They didn´t stop and Clarke couldn´t do anything about it. She burried her face in her hands and curled herself up to a ball. The others shouldn´t see her like this. Not this weak nor this affected by the situation. She never allowed herself to show how broken she really is to anyone. Not even her father. He knew what was going on but he, like her mother, did not know the entire depth of her pain and misery. Nobody did and especially nobody should.

"Thank you for sharing this with us. You are really a brave, young woman." Indra spoke that with an completly sincere voice that left no room for interpretation. After that, silence spread between the four women. Probably to give the crying girl the space she obviously needed.

A while later, Clarke had calmed a little bit and Indra spoke up one last time. "There is one last thing I want to talk about with you and your mother." Clarke lifted her gaze. Puffy, red eyes were now locked onto her teacher. What else was there to talk about? She had told them literally everything.

"We...well, Lexa over here, wants to help you. Lexa is the daughter of the owners of . One of the most successful and best law-firms of the world. Her parents offer their help to bring these boys behind bars."

Clarke gasped. Woods. Inc. is one of the most prestigeous law companies of the whole world and she would never be able to pay that. They represent celebrities and rich People and somebody like her was neither rich nor famous. Also, what happens when Murphy and Finn find out that she dobbed them in? They would again punish her for ruining their future and god knows if she would survive that again.

"I..." She couldn´t speak. Her throat was dry and almost hurt. Her lip quivered and she bit into it to stop it from trembling.

"I know what you want to say. Lexa already wrote the report for the court to put them under a restrainment order. They have to stay away from you and won´t be allowed near you until the final court-date."

Clarke still wasn´t able to breathe. It was as if the air was knocked out of her lungs. Why did this girl do all this for her? Clarke only knew the name and now who her parents were, nothing more. And still, that girl pulled the strings to help Clarke without ever having met her before.

"That is a really generous offer but I am afraid we are not able to pay your parents, Ms. Woods." Abby spoke up the first time again.

Lexa shook her head and offered mother and, especially, daughter again this small, nearly unnoticable, smile. "They don´t want any money from you. I talked with them yesterday right after my talk with Indra. I told them your story, I hope you don´t mind?" She looked at Clarke, seriously worried that she might have overstepped a boundary.

Clarke just looked shocked. Still taken aback by the change of things. It took her a while to understand everything. She met Indra a week ago. Her niece only today and they, well, mostly Lexa´s parents, who she only knew from TV or newspaper-reports, are offering her help and further they want to represent her in her law-case?

Lexa cleared her throat awkwardly, still waiting for a response.

Clarke snapped back into reality and shook her head.

"Good. I told them everything that I and Indra knew. They offer you a free representation and full support in your case, Clarke. They really want so see these boys behind bars because they obviously are a danger for everybody. And they are pretty sure that they will win this case because, what my mother told me earlier today, when I called them for an update, they already found enough proof to fill a law-suit against them. There is just one thing that might be a Problem," Lexa looked at her, a concened expression plastered on her face.

Clarke shot her a worried look. Of course there had to be something. There was never anything that was going smoothly for her.

"You have to tell them the entire story. From the beginning. Not just this monday but everything so they can use it against them."

Clarke nearly wanted to scream in relief. She had thought that from now on she had to advertise for the company or something like that. Of Course, it wouldn´t be easy to tell that whole story again but if that could be the end of it she was willing to do so. Even if they were strangers.

"If that is what they need...I will tell them everything. From the beginning." Clarke now felt a tid-bit of hope rising in her chest. But she felt something more. The deepest gratitude she ever felt for a human.

Lexa nodded quietly and added: "I will send in the restrainment order today then. Indra, if I remember correctly you told me that you will talk to the principal tomorrow, in order to ban these boys from school?" Lexa had turned to facer her aunt for the first time in this whole conversation. Indra gave a court nod and added: "Murphy and Collins will never set one foot again into the same classroom as you, Clarke."

Clarke just sat there, overwhelmed by everything and unable to form a coherent sentence. But apparently her face showed her gratitude towards the two woman nonetheless.

A quiet while later Abby started getting up and schook both of the other women´s hands. "Thank you. I can´t express what you did for us." Indra nodded while Lexa sported her trademark, little smile again.

The green-eyes girl´s gaze shifted to the younger girl, still sitting on the couch.

"Before you go. Clarke, may I speak with you in private?"

 _ **Chapter 7**_

"Well, that went better than I expected." Indra murmured as she watched Clarke and her mother drive away. Lexa stood next to her and sighed. "A lot better."

That was absolutely right. Lexa had never dreamt that this meeting would go that well and that she and Clarke would get along this good. They understood eachother without a lot of explaining and Lexa adored Clarke for being so honest and open with her. Clarke was truely one of the bravest People Lexa had ever met because that Girl revealed herself in her weakest state to Lexa even if they knew each other only for a couple of hours. For Lexa it was a Statement of trust the younger woman had towards her and it meant a lot to her.

"What did you talk about with her?" Indra had turned her face to look at her niece, who still looked in the direction the car disappeared.

"I kind of tried to explain why I want to help her. Not that I was extremely successful with that but it seems that Clarke trusts me a little bit." An unreadable expression rushed over her aunts face but as fast as it came it was gone again. She still looked at Lexa as if she waited for her to continue. "Nobody ever helped that girl without having other intentions than helping her. It seemed as if she never really had someone she could trust and talk to. After I told her that my only intention was to help her, she broke down and started crying. I couldn´t help but hugging her and she let me do it. We stood there and I let her cry for as long as she needed to."

A small smile appeared on Indra´s face and she padded her niece´s shoulder. "You are too good for this world, Lexa. But you have to know something." Now Lexa turned, too, and faced her aunt. A sincere look was plastered onto the older woman´s face. What she wanted to say had to be something important, that much Lexa could tell from spending so much time with the woman in front of her.

"You can´t let her down. I know you care for her and her Situation now and I don´t believe that you would do something like that but you have to know that this girl has always been let down by everyone in her life. If she grows close to you and you just let her drop as soon as you realize that football and college are already too much to handle and that you won´t have time for her, I swear to you, you will never set one foot into my home again." Lexa was slightly taken aback by Indra´s statement. Her aunt normally wasn´t the person who talks much and if she did, it never lacked of content. This was the longest speech her aunt had ever given her.

Indra was right. Clarke had been left alone for all this time and it was possible that she couldn´t take it another time. Nobody has ever been there for this young woman, who needed so desperatly someone to talk to and share her feelings with. Nobody had ever listened to her.

This was something Lexa wanted to change as fast as she could. She promised to be always available to this girl and she definetly will be. It really hurt her when Clarke broke down and tears where streaming down her face again, just because someone finally listened to her. Someone finally had been there for her to hold her and to soothe her somehow. This should be ordinary. If Clarke needed someone, someone should be there for her.

"I won´t. I will help her to get trough this and I only will leave her alone if she wants me to. There is no way that I put Clarke through something like that again." Lexa was absolutely honest and meant every word she said. Indra nodded mutely and moved to go back inside but Lexa gripped her by her wrist.

"What did you talk about with her mother when I talked to Clarke?" Somehow she knew that the two women just wouldn´t stand there in silence and wait for Clarke and Lexa to return. They must have talked.

"Her mother explained me why she didn´t do anything about Clarke´s situation." Lexa let go of her aunt´s wrist and raised her left eyebrow.

That was a question that was on her mind since Indra told her yesterday everything she knew.

 _Why did Clarke´s parents nothing to change their daughter´s situation?_

There had to be a rather good explanation or Lexa wasn´t sure she could contain her anger towards these terrible parents when she will meet them again soon.

"Clarke never told her anything. When she came back with bruises or other injuries she would tell her mother that she fell with her bike or something like that. Mother and daughter never had a really close bond, that much she told me. Her husband was most likely the only person in this world that Clarke trusts enough to tell him at least half of the truth."

This definetly wasn´t the explanation she was hoping for. There was no way in hell that Clarke´s mother had had no suspicions. Some people may be clumsy and uncoordinated but nobody fell with their bike that often. That was the poorest explanation she could think of right now and it made the anger in her gut rise once again. But seemingly her aunt wasn´t finished yet.

"Dr. Griffin is the head-surgeon at Mount-Weather-Hospital and is nearly never at home. Jake Griffin, Clarke´s father is an engineer and works right now in Africa. He won´t be home for another couple of months." At that Lexa´s mouth fell wide open. How could they do that to their own daughter? How could they basically abandon her?

Her mother say she didn´t know the whole depth of Clarke´s situation, fine, but how could she leave her daughter all alone when the only person her daughter really trusts is thousands of miles away? This was just cruel.

Lexa had balled her hands into tight fists in order to calm herself down at least a little but it was of no use. She was angry. Angry at the woman that sat across from her only minutes, maybe a hour ago. "How could they do that to her? Why didn´t her father talk to her mother about it? Her father knew and did nothing about it. I can´t believe it!" Her nails began digging int the flesh of her palm and all that she wanted right now was at least talk some sense into these absolutely horrible parents.

It was possible that Clarke´s father didn´t want to loose the trust from his daughter but that didn´t excuse him leaving her alone. Her mother was never there and he knew that!

"I know. You are right but Dr. Griffin also said that she was aware of her mistakes." Indra herself couldn´t contain that little look of disgust washing over her face.

"Aware? Is that everything she told you? That she is Aware of her mistakes?!" Lexa found it impossible to hold her stoic mask in place at the thought of what Clarke´s parents had put their daughter through.

Indra just nodded and clenched her jaw as if she exactly knew that Lexa would loose it.

"How can somebody like her look into the mirror without vomiting? How can she wake up and be in a good mood?!"

"I don´t know, Lexa. I don´t know."

* * *

The next day Lexa went back to her own apartment and picked up studying again but she couldn´t quite focus on the assignments given by her teachers. Her thoughts were with a certain blonde and it was impossible for her to concentrate on her textbook or the man standing in front of her and trying to explain something to his students that her parents teached her already years ago.

At the end of the day she couldn´t wait to finally step on the turf again and train with her teammates. She desperatly needed something that distracted her for a while and Football seemed perfect for it. As long as she would be standing on the turf, her thoughts would be in the game she loved so much. At least was that what she thought.

She already planned what she was practicing with her team today. They would have their first game on Saturday and if they wanted to win the championship again, they had a lot of work to do. "Next week is our opening game and I expect only the best from you during every training! We have to fight hard to win since the Azgeda Warriors are one of our hardest competitioners. Today we will start with running ten laps and then we will proceed with tackling-drills!"

Her teammates followed her order and she found herself running next to Miller, the best wide-reciever of their team. He is a decent company because he is somehow quiet and calm. The complete opposite to the most of the team.

"Is everything okay, Lexa?" When she heard her name she knew that this would be a personal conversation. Nathan Miller was nearly the only one that used Lexa´s name and not her nickname ´the commander´. Whenever he used her name he was talking to her as her friend and not as her teammate and subject.

She really didn´t want to have this conversation right now. Football training was supposed to distract her from all that what was going on in her mind. It was meant to relax her and talking about her weekend wouldn´t help.

"It´s fine. Nothing serious, I just had a stressful weekend." She didn´t want to say more, even if it was a lie. It was serious and it never left her mind. It seemed that Miller understood her silent request of changing the topic, even if he watched her with a concerned expression on his face. "Okay. Any party planned for the next weekend?" He asked then non-chalantly. Lexa nearly wanted to hug him for this change of topic but she kept her face straight. "Well, I´d say that if we win on saturday I will pay for all the drinks and invite the team over to my place." She answered with a kind of devilish smirk planted on her face.

Her parties always were the best since everybody wanted to come over to her apartment and wanted to say that they were at a party of Alexandria Woods. She was definetly on top of the social-food-chain of college and that made her paries always a blast.

Miller smirked right back. Knowing exactly what that meant. "Hey guys! The commander invites us to her place if we win on saturday!" He shouted loud enough for the whole team to hear. A row of cheering and high-fiving followed and Lexa held her chin up higher.

"So we have to try extra hard, right?" Miller adressed her again, smirk still in place. "Definetly." She shot back.

The rest they ran in silence. The short escape from her thoughts had been exactly what Lexa had needed but it was far too short. Eight laps were too much time to again think only of a certain blonde that never really left her mind since she came into her life rather unexpectedly. Clarke hadn´t texted her yet but Lexa didn´t gave up her hope she would soon. She gave Clarke her phone-number and further the choice if she would text her or not.

After their run that seemed far too long, they stepped into the tackle-drills she prepared for today. She would be lying if she would say that she chose tackle-drills just to prepare her team for the game. She chose them because they were at least a small stress-release.

She tackled one teammate after another with far more force than necessary but it helped her a bit. Some of her Anger she still felt towards Mr. and Mrs. Griffin subsided when she took her final competitioner down. It was wrong to let emotions control her actions but she couldn´t help it. Even if she tried to contain her feelings and just act, she wasn´t able to do it.

When their training ended and she recieved her phone she saw that she had one missed message from an unknown number. It felt as if her heart skipped a beat when she read the massage.

 **Hello Lexa. I wanted to thank you for yesterday, so thank you.**

 **Have a nice day.**

 **-Clarke**

 _ **Chapter 8**_

 _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

Clarke wanted to slap heself as soon as she reread the text she just sent.

 **Hello Lexa. I wanted to thank you for yesterday, so thank you.**

 **Have a nice day.**

 **-Clarke**

She had written at least thirty different texts but all of them she erased again. And now? Now she sent that darn message and it was just plain terrible. What was wrong with her? She just couldn´t find the words to just send a simple text to that beautiful brunette with the seemingly gigantic heart.

After that text, she did´t believe that she would get an answer from Lexa. Who would answer to such an embarrassing try to thank them?

Still, she was a little disappointed that Lexa didn´t reply immediatly. Somehow she had hoped that the other girl would answer her right after she recieved the text, even if this text was emabarrasing as hell. But you all know what they say about hope,

 _It breeds eternal misery._

The time crept by and she still stared at her phone, when the sun began to set. Sunrays were stinging in her eyes but she didn´t avert them for just a second from her phone´s screen. It wasn´t for another few minutes until her screen finally lit up and told her that she just recieved a message from Lexa.

 **Hey Clarke.**

 **I hope you´re feeling better today. What are you doing right now?**

 **-Lexa**

Clarke stared at her phone. As soon as she read the text it felt as if her heart wanted to explode in joy. Somehow she nearly gave up hoping for a reply but now she got one and even if it was a simple question, it gave her the feeling the other young woman cared for her. It gave her the feeling that somebody was finally interested in what she was doing and how she felt. There´s just one person next to Lexa that asked her these simple questions and the last time she spoke to this other person was now months ago.

Her fingers trembled when she tried to find a Reply good enough for Lexa. What was she supposed to write?

 **I am feeling a bit better right now. School was not that bad since Finn and Murphy weren´t there.**

 **I am sketching a little bit. You?**

 **-Clarke**

She didn´t lie. While she was mainly staring at her phone, waiting for a reply. Her Hand found a pencil and she started drawing various lines without any meaning. She was sketching but not looking at what she was drawing.

Now she took a first look at her mindless drawn sketch. What she saw shocked her a little bit. The various lines were not as various as she thought they would be. They formed somehow the shape of an eye watching directly into the viewer´s direction. It was not detailed or more than just a shape but somehow it seemed to stare at her.

 **I just finished practice.**

 **That leads me to my next question. We have a game on saturday and I wanted to ask if you wanted to come over. I Really want to see you again.**

 **-Lexa**

Her breath was stuck in her throat and her mouth hung open. Lexa wanted her to come to her game. She wanted to see her again. But wait a second...she wanted her to watch her game as in a public space? That couldn´t be true. Nobody wanted to be seen with her in public, everybody was always afraid, that they would become equally as Clarke a bullying target.

Lexa must have written it out of pure politeness and not because she meant it. That would be too great to be true.

Her lip trembled a little bit as she thought of a reply. What was she supposed to do? She wanted to meet that beautiful brunette again but not because Lexa had the feeling she had to invite Clarke.

She nearly threw her phone against the wall out of reflex as she saw that she was being called. The caller´s ID just showed four letters and it made her breath once again get caught in her throat. Lexa was calling her.

 _"Hey, Clarke."_

For a few short moments Clarke´s mind went crazy in the process to proceed what was happening.

"Hey, Lexa." She murmured nearly to quiet to understand it. She wasn´t sure if she could think of a proper sentence right now.

 _"I saw you read my text from earlier. About the game. I just wanted to make sure you don´t feel like you have to come and watch my game. If you don´t want, you don´t have to."_

How could this be possible? Was somebody asking her what she wanted right now?

"I...I don´t know. Do you really want me to come?" She sounded more than just unsecure. She sounded as if she was afraid to hear the truth.

 _"I would really like if you would come. But again you don´t have to,"_

Clarke´s thoughts went badshit crazy right now. Lexa sounded so sincere and she really wanted to believe her so badly. But there was a barrier, a protective wall, inside her head that said she should watch ot. How often had she been let down after she had trusted some person? This rule may also aply for Lexa. She didn´t know her, but...it felt so different than all the times before. Somehow her fear to be let down wasn´t there right now, or at least it lost a lot of value. Maybe it was because she wanted it to be true.

"I...I will be there." She then murmured. Not sure if she really meant what she said.

She heard Lexa take a sharp breath as if she had stopped breathing until Clarke gave her an answer.

"Geat! Thank you. It´s at 8 pm at the college Stadium... But, there is one last thing I want to talk about with you. If we win, what I think we will, I will hold a party at my place afterwards. You can come with me then but if you don´t want to...I understand."

It almost felt like Lexa really tried to avoid pushing Clarke to do things she didn´t want to. The imagination made a warm feeling spread in her chest.

 _She cares about me._

This time it took Clarke not that long to answer. She took a deep breath and said: "I can come to your Party. Um...thank you for the invitation."

Suddenly a thought shot through her mind. _What if her friends don´t like me?_ It would be a similar situation as in school. They would ignore her and make fun of her. The thoughts of this made a sob escape from her chest. She couldn´t take the thought of going through that again in another place with new people.

"Clarke? Is everything alright?" Lexa sounded concerned. She must have heard the sob.

"Yeah it´s fine, it´s just..." Her voice broke and she couldn´t contain a second sob. _It will be the same as in School._

"What´s up? You don´t have to come. Don´t feel like you have to attend the party or the game. If that´s too much, I understand."

"No," She replied as fast as she could. She wanted to watch Lexa play, even if she didn´t exactly know what. Based on the stadium the game was Held in, it must be football. "I want to come. I just thought...what...what if your friends don´t like me?" Her voice was barely audible, just a whisper.

"Just be who you are and they´ll love you. My friends are some of the most open people and they´ll really like you. There is no reason to worry, I promise." Lexa´s voice was sincere and Clarke could feel how proud Lexa was of her friends. "Nathan Miller for example. If you don´t want to talk to me anymore and get bored of me at the party, just look for him. He´s decent company."

Clarke smiled dumbly. Somehow Lexa managed it again, to sooth her restless mind with just a few sentences. It almost felt as if Lexa knew exactly what she had to do when Clarke was on the edge of loosing control.

"Don´t expect me to. I think you´ll be stuck with me then." It wasn´t meant to sound comical in any way but somehow Clarke chuckled herself a little bit as she heard Lexa let out a small laugh.

"I hope so. So you´ll be there?" She asked once again, her voice hopeful.

"Yes...but I´ve got one last question." Clarke was already emabarrassed by the question she was about to ask.

"Okay. Shoot."

"What pports am I watching on saturday?"

* * *

Lexa couldn´t contain a hearty laugh that spilled from her lips. The moment it did, though, she was afraid she hurt Clarke. The younger Girl may have thought taht she was making fun of her for asking such a simple question. She didn´t want to give Clarke the feeling she was just another one of all the people that tortured her in school.

She was simply not used to being asked that question. Nearly everybody in town knew her by now, because she was the captain, also known as the commander of the college varsity. Some may even call her famous.

"Football. I didn´t tell you, right? I hope you´re still coming, even if you have to watch me throwing the ball all over the pitch." Some people didn´t take it well, if they heard what sports she was doing, they alwas said that this was a men´s Sport, but it wasn´t. She loved it. It was her life and nothing was going to change that.

"Yes, I´ll still come. So see you on saturday then?"

"Yes. I´m looking forward to it. See you then." Lexa beamed and the shit-eating grin on her face probably told the whole world how happy she was right now.

"Whoever you talked to...keep her." Lexa lifted her gaze from her phone and saw Nathan standing in front of her with his arms crossed. "I think I saw this smile far too infrequently the past years."

She knew what he was referring to, but there was no way she would give up on her good mood. Not even _the story._

Lexa´s grin only grew. Clarke didn´t push her away and wanted to spend time with her.

This got to be the best day in this whole year for her.

 _ **Chapter 9**_

Lexa stood in the lockeroom in front of her team. Arms crossed and stance wide. She was the impersonification of confidence.

"Today, we start our new journey to win the championship once again. There is no way I expect less from you than the best you can give today. The Azgeda Warriors are not the best team we will play against this year but they have a few strong and very brutal players. They won´t hesitate to crush your bones within seconds, so keep watch. Roan, their widereciever tackles everyone down, who dares to get in his way. Nia is a bitch. She will trip on your feets and will be trying to slam her shoulder into your guts so again: keep watch. They are not a good team but they´re still a danger."

Everybody in the room nodded and waited for their comander to proceed. Nobody dared to speak up to her, not before a game. She scanned her teammates and lifted her chin a bit higher.

"I don´t accept a defeat today. If you won´t push yourself to your borders, there will be consequences. I know everybody by now and there´s no way you will be getting out of this without punishment. There are no excuses. Now get out there and start warming up!"

Everybody hurried out of the room and that left Lexa alone. She always warmed up before her teammates and will be making her entrance a little later.

Her team had to win today. They want to win the Championship again? They have to win. But that was not the only reason. She could impossibly embarass herself in front of a certain blonde, who will be there. Hopefully.

Yes, Clarke said she would be coming, but Lexa would understand if that´s too much for her and that she would stay home. Of course it would make her sad, but she would understand. It had to be hard for someone like Clarke, who has always been pushed away and wasn´t wanted, to accept that somebody was there for her and that this somebody, namely Lexa, wanted Clarke around.

She took a deep breath and started moving out of the lockeroom. Maybe Clarke was already there and she would be able to talk to her before she had to play. Lexa hoped that would be the case. That may help her focusing entirely on the game and not on the question if Clarke will be there or not.

She took a glance on the bleachers. They were packed with a rowdy crowd of students from their university and other viewers. They were already chanting for their team and most of them sported black and red, the colors of Lexa´s team. For a short moment she smirked proudly when she counted at least twenty people with her jersey and that were only some of the viewers sitting to her right. But soon she scanned the crowd again, desperatly trying to find Clarke.

She was nearly on her way back into the lockeroom, but then she saw her. Sitting in the third row a few metres to Lexa´s left side. She must have arrived just now, because there was now way Lexa would be able to overlook her while scanning the crowd.

The second glance at the blonde knocked the breath out of her lungs. Clarke donned a jersey with Lexa´s number 10 and Woods printed on it´s back. Clarke had bought this shirt just for this game.

Nothing held her anymore in place and Lexa started to jog up to the young woman wearing her Jersey.

"Hey, Clarke." She greeted somewhat awkwardly. She didn´t exactly know what she wanted to talk about with Clarke but she just had to hear her voice again.

"Hey, Lexa." Clarke greeted her shyly, but Lexa couldn´t help recognizing that Clarkes gaze went quickly one time all over her body. It almost seemed as if Clarke was checking her out, or something like that, but what was Lexa thinking? Clarke saw her the first time in football gear, that was probably the reason.

"Thank you for coming." Lexa said. She was already in her game-mode and therefore not lacking confidence. "How are you doing?" She tilted her head to the left and eyed the blonde girl cautiously.

"I am fine. Looking forward to your game. But I have one question." The blonde donned a small smile, barely noticable.

"Shoot. I´ll answer. Well, at least if you don´t want to know how photosynthesis works. That would be something I really don´t know." _Oh my god, what was she babbling? That didn´t even make sense._

Clarke let out a little, no, tiny laugh and looked up from the pavement to once again make eye-contact with the older girl now kneeling in front of her. "Why didn´t you warn me that you´re probably the most famous player in this team? It was pure luck that I found the last jersey of yours in the store, which was my size."

Lexa couldn´t contain the shit-eating grin that expanded on her face and the small laugh that escaped her lips. She had expected a lot but that? That she didn´t expect. It gave Lexa the feeling that Clarke was warming up to her. Would you ask something like that someone you absolutely can´t stand? Lexa definetly not

They had been texting a lot since she invited the younger girl to her game. There wasn´t even a day she wasn´t texting the blonde girl she now finally saw again.

Clarke had already earned a soft spot in her heart.

"Well, that is a longer story. I´ll tell it after the game, if that´s okay for you?" That story was longer than just the five minutes that she had left before she had to go onto the pitch. "With a decent drink in my hand."

Again there was this barely audible laugh that spilled from the blonde´s lips and again, it made Lexa´s heart melt.

"Sounds fine for me. Is there anything else I don´t know yet about this game, besides the fact that the probably best player of both teams is now kneeling in front of me?"

It seemed as if Clarke was finally getting some courage . She now spoke in complete sentences to her and that made her heart wanting to explode in her chest.

"Well, Azgeda plays dirty. Don´t expect a beautiful game, at least not from them. But our team is fantastic this year. We have great players, who will assist me in beating the assholes Nia and Roan. Seriously, they are some of the worst people I´ve ever met."

Clarke let out a small snort. Lexa guessed what was going on in the blonde´s head. The younger girl had definetly met worse people, no doubt.

 _"Make some noise for Azgeda´s Team-captain! Nia Queen..."_

Lexa rolled her eyes. Nia always made the biggest thing out of her entrance. She even lets her players bow in front of her as if they were her warriors. It was childish. Lexa herself made a show, too, but it mostly involved her, so called, war paint being aplied by one of her own players, so no big deal.

"I have to go. My call is next." She mumbled and got up. Shooting Clarke an apogelectic look. The other girl just smiled and nodded.

The cheering for Nia´s show wasn´t even close to the gigantic amount of cheering that erupted as soon as Lexa was announced.

 _"The captain of the Polis Lions...make some noise for Lexa "The Commander" Woods!"_

Lexa walked onto the pitch and she could feel the adrenaline rushing through her veins. That was what she was living for. This exact moment. The cheering in her ears and the pitch in front of her.

This time it was Lincoln´s turn to apply her warpaint. Everyone on the team knew exactly what to do. Cover the whole eye-region in black and then dragging three fingers down her cheek.

The paint was her way to say that the game was on. It was a silent threat.

* * *

The last few minutes of the game were running. There was no way the Lions were going to lose this game anymore. They had a comfortable advance and Lexa was proud, because the team showed absolutely the best of their ability.

But there was one last thing Lexa felt she had to do.

She had to show off her talent. It was a cocky and unessesary move but she couldn´t help it. She wanted to embarass Nia and she also wanted to impress the blonde girl sitting in the bleachers just for her.

She caught the ball and gave Nathan a sign that he should start running. The widereciever shot forward, expecting the ball coming in his direction. Lexa pulled her arm back and sent the ball soaring through the air.

It was a risky move but Lexa knew what she was doing. The ball flew over the whole pitch, nearly eighty yards directly into the end zone. Now Nathan had to be fast enough to catch it before it hits the ground.

With his fingertips he caught the ball mid jump and sent it with him to the ground. They made it.

"What the hell?" Gustus now stood beside Lexa who donned a smug smirk. That was definetly a defeat for Ontari, she could see it in her eyes. The girl stood on the other side of the pitch but her eyes were ignited by anger.

"Definetly worth the risk." Was everything she gave Gustus as an answer, before her gaze was scanning the crowd for blonde, wavy hair. Clarke was grinning at her and Lexa found herself beaming with pride.

Embarrasing Nia? Check. Impressing Clarke? Check.

The last few minutes went by quickly and as soon as the came was called of and she had the chance to get away from her team, she sprinted towards the girl, now waiting at the bottom of the bleachers.

Clarke was still grinning and Lexa made a mental note to do everything in her force just to see that again. It was definetly the most beautiful smile she has ever seen.

"What an amzing pass! You absolutely deserve being called the best."

Lexa beamed. "I´d say my goodluck-charm, now standing right in front of me may have helped me."

 _ **Chapter 10**_

 _"I´d sy my goodluck-charm, now Standing right in front of me may have helped me."_

Wait a second...this couldn´t be the possiblity. There was no way Lexa Woods was now Standing in front of her, having ditched her Team, and was now flirting with her? Clarke just stood there in shock but also awe. This was too good to be true.

"It´s the first time I´m watching one of your games. There is no way I can be your goodluck-charm." Clarke said shyly. She didn´t want to hold her hopes high. There was the possibility that the sentence just slipped from Lexa´s lips and she didn´t really want to say something like that.

"You say it´s the first time...so I´ll see you around the next time, too?" A smirk was making an appearence on the brunette´s face and Clarke couldn´t help grinning back. Even if it was probably the cockiest smirk she had ever seen, it was something she wanted to see again. And then the warpaint smeared around Lexa´s eyes...that was worth watching another game. She literally looked like a commander who leads her warriors into battle.

"Well, if you´re always that good. I will. Your game was absolutely amazing." Clarke said honestly. She meant every word of it. It was for sure an amazing game Lexa and her Team had played and she really planned on watching the game next saturday again. Not only because of the Sports...the Major reason was this incredibly open, understanding and caring Girl in front of her.

"I am counting on it. So...you still want to come to my Party?" A worried Expression spread all over Lexa´s Features. Barely Long enough to be noticed but Clarke didn´t fail to recognise it.

It seemed as if Lexa really wanted her to be there, the Expression on face told Clarke that she would understand if Clarke didn´t want to come.

"If you still want me to be there..." Clarke answered hesistantly.

"Of Course. I´ll take a shower and then I´ll drive you over to my place. If that´s fine for you."

Clarke nodded. Expecting Lexa to turn around and go for a shower but somehow the older Girl seemed to be glued to the spot she was Standing right now. Clarke tilted her head to the right and eyed Lexa cautiously. WHy wouldn´t she retreat and go for a shower? She cleared her throat in order to pull Lexa out of her daze.

"Um, right. Stay here, I´ll get my keys so you can already get into the car. I don´t want you to become sick, since you´re just wearing a Jersey." Lexa shifted her weight from one foot to the other and looked down at the concrete of the bleachers.

"Thank you." Was all Clarke could answer. The last sentence was stuck in her mind. _I don´t want you to become sick._ Her heart pounded inher chest. Lexa really did care for her, at least was this something everyone of the older girl´s Actions told Clarke.

She watched Lexa´s retreating form. No. Lexa wasn´t retreating, she was sprinting into the direction of what Clarke assumed must be her lockeroom. This gitl had just played an entire football-game and was now sprinting to grab her keys, just because she didn´t want Clarke to become sick? It felt too good to be true.

Only half a Minute later, Lexa was sprinting back towards the blond waiting for her. "Here. It´s the black one Standing in one of the for Teams reserved lots. It also has heated seats if you´re cold." Lexa tossed her the keys and Clarke caught them with ease.

"I´ll be there in a few minutes." The brunette said while already heading back into the tunnel. Clarke wanted to tell her that she should take her time but honestly? She didn´t want Lexa to to leave her all alone for such a Long time. It was silly but every time Clarke was on her own, she felt fear seeping through her Body.

 _What if Finn and Murphy or someone else would find me? What would they do to me?_

These thoughts came crashing back into her mind and she couldn´t do anything about the tears escaping her eyes on her way toward Lexa´s car. She increased her Speed and nearly sprinted toward the parking lot for the Players.

She pushed the button to unlock the car. Mostly to find out which one of the three black ones Standing in a row it was. If the fear hadn´t taken the better of her she would stand there now and watch at the car, which lights were blinking now, in awe. It was a black, brandnew Ford Mustang.

But the only Thing she could do in the Moment was slipping into the safety of the car.

Finally sitting in the passenger seat, she exhaled deeply. Now they couldn´t do anything. She was locked away from them and they wouldn´t have a Chance to hurt her. Again she took a deep breath and wiped away the tears that streamed down her face.

She turned on the Radio. After this Version of Lexa she saw today, she expected nothing less than some rap-tracks waiting to blast her brain away. Yes Rap or Hip-Hop would be something that would fit, but what she heard left her gawking at the Radio.

The melodic piano-accords at the start of Lullaby by Nickelback made Clarke grin dumbly. It was one of her favourite Songs and she expected a lot from Lexa but this? Being fan of a rock-ballad? Nope. That definetly not.

The song was on an endless Loop and it was the third time the song started playing, as Lexa opened the driver´s door. Clarke smiled at her, but tears once again had made their way down her cheeks. They weren´t necessesarly from being sad, but this song was her song. It was the song that always gave her hope and strength.

"Is everything okay? I can drive you home, if you don´t want to come with me." Lexa shot Clarke a concerned look. But Clarke merely grinned wider.

"This song..." Clarke didn´t Need to finish the sentence. She didn´t feel the Need to do so, since a look of deep understanding crawled onto the brunette´s Features.

"I often listen to it. The Lyrics are so indredibly wise and somehow they give me strength. It Sounds weird I guess but it´s that way." Lexa looked deeply into Clarke´s eyes.

 _Well, I know the feeling_

 _Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge_

 _and there ain´t no healing_

 _from cutting yourself with the jagged edge_

 _I´m telling you that_

 _it´s never that bad_

Both Girls listened to it quietly, until Clarke had the Courage to speak up. "It´s not weird. I often do the same." She looked at Lexa, who stared straight out of the windshield. It seemed as if the Girl was with her thoughts at an entirely different place.

 _Please let me take you_

 _out of the darkness and into the light_

 _´cause I´ve faith in you_

 _That you´re going to make it through another night._

They both sat there another few Moments in silence until the song was once again over. That seemed to pull Lexa out of her daze and she started the engine.

She turned off the endless Loop and now there was some other rock-song playing. Not quite hard-roch but much heavier than the song both of the Girls loved so deeply.

"Ready for a blast? They´ll love you!"

* * *

Her teammates hadn´t arrived yet. Lexa assumed they were still pre-gaming in their lockeroom. Normally she didn´t approve of her Players drinking themself into Stupor but right now she needed herself a drink.

The Moment in her car only a couple of minutes ago replayed in her mind ad she couldn´t Forget Clarke´s tearcovered cheeks grinning at her. It was, in a weird way, one of the most beautiful Things she had ever seen. Lexa knew that the younger girl´s tears weren´t from sadness, they were from overwhelming.

She dragged herself ot of her thoughts and eyes the Girl in front of her. Clarke stood there and looked around her Apartment. "Is this all yours?" Was the only Thing the blonde said.

"Well, yes. My parents gifted this Apartment to me on my eighteenth birthday. The day I moved away from them." Lexa smiled at the Memory. That day was one of the few ones her parents were at home and were celebrating with her. That day she nearly felt as if she had a Family.

"Wow. That´s impressive." Clarke looked a bit shocked but a slight smile was still planted on her face. It didn´t even crumble a bit through their ride to Lexa´s aparment.

"Yeah but my neighbor is creepy. She always asks me on Dates and waits for me in the hallway." Ontari was definetly somebody she could do without.

"Okay. Thats definetly creepy." Clarke laughed a Little bit, probably imagining the Situation.

"I swear she knows my schedule and the exact times I come home from practice." Now Lexa laughed, too, because who couldn´t when the stand in front of such a beautiful Young woman who was laughing herself? "Anyway, do you want a drink, Clarke? As soon as the others will be here, Monroe and Harper will probably taking all the booze to the Roof and do a shot contest."

"Yes. I´ll take what take." Lexa nodded and went into the kitchen to prepare two glasses of Whiskey. Expensive Whiskey, nobody from her Team would get a Hand on.

She returned and found Clarke sitting on her Couch and staring out of the window. "Here you go." She handed Clarke the glass and sat down next to the blonde.

Similar to the short Moment in the car earlier they sat there in silence. It wasn´t uncomfortable. They both didn´need to talk or fill the silence otherwise.

"Ey! Woods where are the Drinks?!" A male voice shouted from the door. "Kitchen." Lexa simply replied.

"Wow, over there. And who are you if I might ask?" Now Clarke and Lexa both turned around to see the Young man Standing in front of her. "Clarke? What are you doing here?" He asked happily.

Bellamy Blake. "You two know each other?" Lexa asked now, even if the answer was obvious. "Well, she is more or less a friend of my sister. So yeah we know each other." He grinned at the blonde, a Little too bright for Lexa´s liking. "Makes sense. Bell, would you mind turning on the Music?" It was her excuse to send him anywerre but right here. She couldn´t satnd that he was grinning so widely at Clarke, who just rolled her eyes as soon as he was off to turn the Music on.

"He is a real pain in the ass." Was all the younger Girl said. Clarke sighed and swirled her drink.

"He is. But he is a decent Player." Lexa said. That was exactly what he was for her. Not more not less.

* * *

All in all the Party was a blast. Everybody was having a great time. A lot of alcohol was now flowing through the guest´s veins.

"Ey, Lex! Drinking contest! Now! Roof!" Lexa rolled her eyes but grinned nontheless. She loved parties and drinking, even if she only did this a few times around the year. More would be unhealthy.

"Come. You Need to see me kicking someone´s ass in this stupid contest!" She dragged Clarke along. The younger Girl simply nodded and let Lexa dragging her onto the Roof. Both Girls were quite intoxicated by now but it didn´t matter to them. They were having a good time.

Her Team had accepted Clarke without any complains and Lexa was more than happy to see that Clarke was having a great time, too. The younger Girl laughed openly and she fit into the Group perfectly. She danced with them, drank with them and talked to them a lot.

Lexa had taken Clarke´s Hand into her´s and entwined their fingers. Probably it was the alcohol that gave her the Courage to do so but it was just and incredible Feeling. It was comforting, soothing and somehow the most exciting Sensation she had felt in a Long time.

"In our left Corner! The Commander! Unbeaten drinking-contest-champion! And in the right Corner! Zoe Monroe!" Bellamy shouted loud enough for everybody to hear.

Lexa reluctantly let go of Clarke´s Hand, but she was not going into battle without sending the blonde the cockiest smirk she could muster. She walked over to the small table that had been set up in the middle of the crowd. Shots Standing on it and basically screaming for Lexa to drink them.

Monroe got into Position, too and as soon as Bellamy shouted :"Go!" Both Girls were killing one shot after another. At first Monroe was able to Keep up with her but only a Little while and far too many shots later, Lexa set down the last shot glass, now empty, while Monroe still had to drink two.

"And the winner is...Lexa Woods!" Bellamy shouted overdramatically and Held Lexa´s fist into the air.

The Feeling of victory seeped through her veins and everybody was cheering for her but her eyes could only see one of the many faces in the crowd. A beaming Clarke, who showed her two big thumbs up stood in the front row. Lexa smiled back and stumbled over. "I said Í´d kick ass!" She slurred much to Clarke´s amusement.

"I want to celebrate my victory...wanna Dance?" The alcohol definetly got the better of her. Otherwise she would never ask a question like this this way, but who cared? Clarke nodded and Lexa entwined their fingers again.

Downstairs in Lexa´s livingroom was the makeshift Dancefloor. The other half of the crowd taht was not occupied with drinking-games spend their time her dancing.

Lexa tugged Clarke closer to her, so, that she could place her Hands on the younger girl´s waist. "Is this okay?" She asked again. Even if she was drunk as hell, she didn´t want to push Clarke.

The blonde replied by placing her Hands around Lexa´s neck. A warm Feeling was spreading in Lexas chest and she couldn´t help the Goofy smile that was planted on her face. Everything just felt so incredibly good and right now she wanted nothing else than freezing the time and spending the rest of her life in this Moment.

They were swaying to the Music blasting from the Speakers and evrything felt perfect, until...

* * *

 _Is Lexa really Holding me like this right now? Is this real?_

Clarke wanted it so desperatly to be real. It felt just great, warm and comfortable. She smiled at Lexa who donned a similar Goofy smile to her.

 _Is she Feeling what I´m Feeling?_

Probably not. It was most likely the alcohol that made Lexa hold her that way and smile that way, not the fact that she was Feeling the same as Clarke. No. That was impossible. There was no way that Lexa was doing that because she wanted Clarke. It had to be the alcohol.

Stupid drunk Clarke! She nearly wanted to scream. How could she believe that something like this was ever going to happen to her? She felt tears making their way down her cheeks and soaking them. She needed air, she couldn´t breathe anymore. She had to run away.

"Hey, Clarke. What´s up?" Lexa looked slightly frightened. "Was this too much? We can put some distance between us."

Clarke swallowed and shook her head. "I Need some air." Was all she said and then she darted out of the Apartment. Leaving a completely confused Lexa behind.

She sprinted the stairs down and as soon as she was outside, she let her tears fall. She slumped against the wall of the Building and Held her head in her Hands. Sbs broke free and she was crying desperatly.

 _ **Chapter 11**_

What had just happend? Lexa stood there alone on the dancefloor, her gaze still fixed on the door Clarke had just left the apartment through. She couldn´t move. Just a few seconds ago Clarke seemed so happy and their dance... it had felt just inredible.

 _Did I overstep a boundary? Have I done something wrong?_

It took another few moments until Lexa regained the contol over her body. She rushed towards the door and sprinted down the stairs. She ignored Ontari who stood in the hallway and obviously wanted to talk to her. Her thoughts belonged right now only to a certain blonde that happen to run away from her only minutes ago.

As soon as she stepped out into the cool of the night, her eyes scanned her surroundings for a blonde girl.

Clarke sat there on the ground against a wall and held her head in her hands. Sobs were shaking her entire body she was shivering. Slowly Lexa walked over to the crying girl and kneeled in front of her. Clarke didn´t even react to her presence.

"Clarke...Clarke, look at me." She tried softly. When Lexa saw that she wasn´t going to get any reaction from the blonde, she softly placed her left hand on Clarke´s right knee and her right hand cautiously found it´s way to the younger girl´s hands and tried to loosen their grip on her hair and face. "Look at me. I´m right here."

Now she didn´t feel the buzz from the alcohol that was in her body. No. She felt painstackingly sober as soon as she saw Clarke´s red, swollen eyes and smudged make-up.

"Hey Clarke...I need you to look at me and talk to me. What´s up?" One hand found it´s way to Clarke´s cheek and whiped a tear away. Clarke lifted her gaze and Lexa looked into these blue eyes that had seen far too many tears in their life. But Clarke didn´t say anything. She just sat there and stared into her eyes.

"I want to help you, but you have to talk to me. What have I done wrong? Was I too fast forward?" This seemed to made Clarke´s tears fall again. The younger girl shook her head violently.

"I..." Her voice broke down and sobs were once again shaking her body. "Hey, shhh, I´m right here, Clarke. You can tell me everything." Lexa took the blondes hands into hers to give her the feeling that somebody was there for her. Somebody that truely cared.

Again Clarke lifted her gaze and saw into Lexa´s green eyes. "I...I´m just...a stupid freak." She managed to get out, barely loud enough to be audible.

Now it was Lexa´s turn to shake her head. How could somebody like Clarke, a beautiful, intelligent and sometimes really funny person, talk about herself like that? "No, you´re not. You are insecure, yes, but that is a protective mechanism you created to make yourself feel safe. But you´re not stupid, nor a freak. Please believe this. You are far away from being a stupid freak." Lexa meant every word she said to the crying blonde girl sitting in front of her.

"But.." Again Lexa shook her head. She knew that Clarke wanted to say the opposite to what Lexa had just told her. "No. Listen to me. I have had the chance to meet a lot of interesting people in my life but, and believe me when I say something like that, nobody I met has such a deep and beautiful character as you. The moment Indra told me about you, well, about your situation, I knew that you had to be someone special. You never gave up and backed down. Yes. You ran away that monday but I would have, too. Everybody would have. Everybody would have long ago changed the school they were visiting but you? You refused to do so. I know that because I know that you´re to strong to back down. Believe me. I say the truth."

Lexa couldn´t imagine what must be going on in Clarke´s head all these past years but it was obvious the blonde didn´t think very high of herself. She probably thought that she deserved all this.

"Why do you care so much?" The same question Clarke had asked her in their first private conversation. The day she broke down in Lexa´s arms. That day Lexa had said that she wanted to help Clarke because she couldn´t stand the fact that something like that happens to anyone. Now she knew Clarke enough to change that statement.

"Because you...you don´t just deserve that this whole bullshit ends. You deserve so mich more. The first time you asked me that exact question I told you that nobody deserved something like that. Now that I got the chance to get to know you, I have to add something to this sentence, Clarke. Nobody deserves living in the hell you had to live in and especially you, you deserve the world. You deserve living a happy life without having to worry. I don´t just care for your situation and problems, like I first did when I heard of you. I care for you, Clarke. For you as the person you are." Now Lexa´s own tears were making their way down her cheeks. She couldn´t stand the fact that somebody like Clarke sat there and was thinking she deserved everyting she had to go through.

"You said...I had to l-live in?" Clarke´s eyes now looked somewhat hopeful, but also cautious, as if she was thinking it had been a grammatical mistake Lexa had made.

"Yes. I won´t accept you being tortured for one more day. You don´t have to go through this alone anymore. You have me, in school, you can always talk to Indra and it even seemed your mother was willing to take more time for you. It is going to change, but you have to trust me." If Clarke wasn´t willing to trust her, she wouldn´t be able to help her.

"I-I do trust you," The younger girl held her gaze fixed onto Lexa´s face. "Just-in there,... I didn´t...I didn´t know what to think. It felt just so nice, warm and safe when you held me...I thought...there was no way that this was true. That you held me that way because you wanted to. I thought you did so because you felt pitty for me. I wanted so badly that you did it because you wanted to but my mind told me that something like that wasn´t possible. That knocked the air out of my lungs and I had to run away." Clarke averted her gaze like she couldn´t look Lexa into the eyes.

Lexa let a sad half-smile show on her features. She lifted her hands to Clarke´s cheeks and forced the younger girl to look into her eyes. Her thumbs brushed away the tears that made their way down this beautiful face. "I did it, because I wanted to, Clarke. I wanted to hold you close to me. There is no way I would do something like that because I feel sorry for you. It was solely because I wanted to." Lexa swallowed. She really wanted Clarke near her. She wanted to spend time with her and she wanted her in her life.

"I..." Lexa could see the pure overwhelming in Clarke´s eyes. A smile spread now all over her face. She placed her index finger onto Clarke´s lips. "Shhh...I know it is hard to believe for you, but I am right here, sitting in front of you and saying to you that I care for you. I want you near me, Clarke." She whispered.

"It´s just...nobody ever told me something like that. It´s just...overwhelming, I guess. I´m so sorry for running away earlier." Again Clarke tried to look in a different direction but Lexa's hands on her cheeks made it impossible for her.

"Don´t be. We can go at your pace, if that´s what you want." Lexa brushed her thumb over the younger girl´s cheek and she felt Clarke leaning into the touch. It was meant to be a comforting gesture but it was so much more. It was an understanding for both girls. It was a reassurance that this was really happening. For this moment it was a save haven.

They sat there for a while but soon Clarke´s shivering became more violent. Lexa grabbed the blonde´s hands and helped her getting up from the cold ground. "Here." She gave her her letterman and draped it around the younger girls shoulders. Then she tugged at the younger girls arms and pulled her close to her.

Clarke nuzzled her nose into the crook of Lexa´s neck and hummed contently. Lexa engulfed Clarke into her arms and began humming the melody of the song that meant so much to both of them. She drew soothing patterns onto the younger girls back and held her tightly.

"I meant what I said when I said that I don´t want you to become sick." She murmured after a while. She was rewarded with the smallest of chuckles coming from the girl that was nuzzled into her neck.

"Sorry. I didn´t think of grabbing a jacket on my way out." Clarke said then and caught Lexa off guard. "Good I´m here then." She murmured in between her own chuckles. "Yes. Good that you´re here."

In this moment Clarke loosened her grip on Lexa´s neck and put the smallest bit of distance between them, so they could look into each others eyes. Lexa´s gaze went for the shortest of moments down to the younger girl´s lips. She swallowed and it took every bit of control that she had over her body, to not grab Clarke´s chin, to not lift it up and not lean down to kiss her.

It would be wrong. They were both not entirely sober and Clarke´s breakdown was only minutes ago, plus she promised that she would go by the younger girl´s pace.

"Thank you. For...for holding me together." Clarke mumbled, still looking into Lexa´s eyes. The older girl just nodded and hummed.

Their moment was suddenly over, when a stumbeling mess of Bellamy Blake with his arms draped around a equally as drunken Zoe Monroe stepped out of the building.

"Ey, yo, Woods! Most of the people have called themselves a cab, we´re leaving now!" He shouted, far too loudly. Lexa didn´t even avert her eyes from Clarke. She simply nodded and replied:"Okay. Everybody sticking to my rule?"

Bellamy nodded and pointed on Monroe. "Yep! Nobody drives home alone!" Lexa sighed and nodded again. "See you on monday."

"I should get going, too then." Clarke said, but Lexa shook her head.

"I´m not letting you drive home with a cab all alone. Nobody here is allowed to do so. But they´re all living on the campus so they´re all driving in the same direction, so nobody needs to. I have a guestroom in my apartment, where you can stay, if you want. But, I could also call your mother, but I don´t think she´ll ever let me see you again after she saw that I allowed you to drink alcohol." Lexa laughed nervously. She didn´t think that she could handle that the blonde in front of her was ripped out of her life again. And Clarke´s eyes, pure horror written into them, told her that she thought the same.

"Definetly not my mom." She managed to get out.

Lexa nodded and offered Clarke her hand. "I thought so. I´ll show you your room." She said with a small smile plastered on her face.

On their way up they met several people from the party, staggering their way downstairs. They all had at least one other person they were leaving the party with and Lexa smiled proudly. There weren´t many rules on her parties but this one was by far the most important one. She couldn´t risk that anybody leaves the party alone, because the streets at this time in the night were absolutely dangerous. Junkies, drunk and criminals were ruling the streets at night.

In the apartment itself were only a couple of people left that were kicked out quickly. The clock on the wall told Lexa it was already 4am and therefore time for the party to be over.

"Okay...here, follow me." Lexa had her fingeres entwined with Clarke´s and led her down the hall, past the chaos her team had left behind, into her guestroom. "This is your room...I´ll get you some clothes you can sleep in." She smiled and reluctantly let go of Clarke´s hand.

She went into her own bedroom and searched in her closet for one of her trainingsshirts and some sweatpants. As soon as she grabbed the things, she went into the kitchen, filled two cups with water and took a few painkillers from her cabinet. She and Clarke would probably them need in the morning.

She walked back into the guestroom and found Clarke sitting on the king-sized bed and staring out of the floor-to-ceiling-window. "Here you go. Clothes and some stuff to survive the morning." She grinned at the younger girl and was about to leave when Clarke spoke up. "Thank you."

They both knew it wasn´t just about Lexa letting Clarke stay in her apartment. It was about everything the brunette had done for Clarke.

Lexa turned around one last time and nodded. "Sleep well, Clarke."

With that she left the room and walked into her own one. She changed into briefs and a sportsbra to sleep in and let herself drop onto her bed. Now that she layed down, her head was spinning and the world around her seemed to focus and unfocus all the time.

Partly it was because of the drinks she had had but mostly? Mostly her head was spinning because of a certain blonde that slept in the room two doors down the hall.

 _ **Chapter 12**_

Clarke tried so hard to sleep, but no matter what she did, she couldn´t. She tossed and turned around for at least three hours.

"Fucking shit!" She grumbled as soon as she saw that it was already seven o´clock. She hadn´t slept at all and her head was pounding as if someone was in there and trying to punch his way out.

She knew the reason, why she couldn´t sleep. The reason was sleeping two doors down the hall. Her thoughts only were about Lexa and what the older girl had said before. Lexa had told Clarke, that she wanted her close, that she wanted to be a part in her life. These thoughts made Clarke smile like dumbass, but she didn´t mind. The negative factor was she wasn´t able to get any rest.

 _It felt so nice, to be close to Lexa. To feel her protective arms around me._ Clarke thought.

She missed the feeling of having the brunette´s arms hold her tightly. They made her feel protected and so incredibly happy, even if she wasn´t really able to show that. Not even her mother´s hugs would make her feel something like that.

Again she turned around and let out a huff. There was no point in trying to get any sleep, unless...

No. She would make an absolute fool out of herself, if she would crawl into Lexa´s bed. But it was probably the only chance she got to get some rest at all. In her head was a battle. A) She would be an idiot and Lexa would laugh at her or B) She wanted so badly to have the older girl close to her again. Plus, Lexa would never laugh at her, wouldn´t she?

Clarke rubbed her temples and made her decision. She got up and sighed.

Slowly she stepped out of her room and tried to make no noise. She was still slightly tipsy and therefore it was more than difficult to take all the obstacles in but somehow she managed it not to destroy any of Lexa´s decoration or furniture.

She stood in front of the white door that led into Lexa´s room. She took a deep breath and knocked slowly. Then she opened the door cautiously when she heard a small grunt from inside.

"Clarke, what´s up?" Lexa looked positively concerned as soon as she saw the girl standing in her doorway, looking somehow defeated. Clarke took again a deep breath and walked further into the room. "Can´t sleep." She murmured shyly. Suddenly afraid that even if she knew better, Lexa would start laughing. But, no. She didn´t.

Lexa lifted her blanket high enough, so that Clarke could slip in next to her. As soon as Clarke climbed into the bed, she laid her head down on Lexa´s shoulder and sighed contently. She felt so incredibly warm and positively giddy to be that close to the brunette.

Lexa placed her arm around Clarke´s waist, to hold her even closer. "Is that okay?" She asked.

Clarke just nodded and nuzzled further into the brunettes neck. Now she felt safe. Now she was able to shut her mind of, because it had what it wanted. She was close to Lexa again.

It didn´t take long for both girls to fall asleep then. Lexa was drawing light circles onto Clarke´s back and the younger girl sighed.

* * *

Later that morning, Clarke woke up, feeling all warm. Only when she opened her eyes she remembered why she felt that good. She was still nuzzled into the brunette´s neck and felt Lexa´s arm draped around her waist. Their feet were entangled and her head was lifted every time Lexa took a breath. She smiled and sighed.

This must be a dream. It felt so incredible. She couldn´t describe it and suddenly she felt like she never wanted to wake up alone anymore.

"Morning." She heard Lexa mumble. The older girl sounded as if she had woken up only moments ago, her voice gruff from the lack of use. Clarke smiled even wider and nuzzled deeper into the crook of Lexa´s neck.

"Good morning." She answered.

They didn´t talk for a while. Both girls were just enjoying the feeling of having each other close.

Some time later, Clarke´s stomach grumbled and reminded her of how hungry she felt. Lexa let out a small chuckle. "It seems as if there´s somebody hungry."

Clarke just grumbled something under her breath. She didn´t want to get up for multiple reasons. Her head was killing her, she felt somewhat nauseous and the most important reason, she didn´t want to loose the comfort and warmth that she felt, because of Lexa.

"I´ll make some breakfast. Join me?" Lexa said then and was already trying to get up, but Clarke wouldn´t let her. "I don´t want to get up." She mumbled then and pulled Lexa impossibly closer.

"Your stomach literally grumbled only a minute ago. You have to eat. Plus, my pancakes at incredible!" Clarke just rolled her eyes and let go of Lexa. The older girl was right. She had to eat something or else she wouldn´t survive this day.

Lexa got up and Clarke closed her eyes again but only until she heard again this absolutely beautiful chuckle from the other side of the room. "Come on, sleepyhead. You don´t want to miss my pancakes." Clarke smiled and opened her eyes.

What she saw struck her like a lightening. Lexa stood there only in sportsbra and briefs. Her eyes widened and she felt her mouth fall open slightly. She had known before that Lexa did sports, but that? Her abs were visible now as well as her toned legs and arms. She looked like a goddess and Clarke couldn´t help staring.

"See something you like?" Lexa asked then, teasing the younger girl for her intense staring.

"Um..." Clarke shook her head in order to collect her thoughts. "Probably." Was everything she could get out. She was rewarded with a small laugh from the girl standing a few feet away. She bit her lip and then got up.

Now it was Lexa´s turn to feel quite flustered.

Clarke looked at her with a big question mark written all over her face. What made Lexa look like that? She wore a simple shirt and sweats, nothing that would be in any way hot.

"Well, um..." The brunette cleared her throat awkwardly and smiled nervously. "My practice-jersey fits you well."

Now Clarke understood what was going on in Lexa´s head and turned red. "Thank you, I guess?" She then asked shyly.

* * *

They ate breakfast in silence, but it didn´t bother them. Lexa hadn´t lied when she said that her pancakes were good. Nope. They were otherworldly. There was no way Clarke could do them any better.

After they cleaned the dishes and were about to walk back into their bedrooms, Lexa turned around and faced Clarke. "Um, Clarke?" She then asked the younger girl.

"Yes, what´s up?" The blonde said. What did Lexa want to talk to her about? She could imagine what it was but she wasn´t sure she was right.

She was right.

"My parents called yesterday. They told me that they were free this evening and that they want to have dinner with you and your mom, is that okay for you? I didn´t want to ruin your good mood after the game and later, it didn't...fit into our talk. Sorry I didn´t tell you earlier...I.." Lexa babbled and Clarke nearly wanted to laugh.

"It is fine for me, but I don´t think my mother will be able to come. She took another double-shift today." Her voice showed much more pain about that than it should and she couldn´t help but stare at her feet and shift her weight from one to the other. Her mother had promised her that she wouldn´t work that much anymore but what was the case? Her mother was taking shift after shift at the hospital1 and was now seemingly never at home. She hadn´t even called to ask were Clarke had stayed the night.

"Well, then. If you´re fine without your mother being there...I could go with you. Only if that's okay for you, of course."

Clarke smiled at the nervous young woman standing in front of her. "I wanted you to come with me anyway. You know so much more about me than she...and I trust you." She took Lexa´s hands into hers and ran soothing motions over her knuckles.

"Really?" Lexa looked somewhat hopeful and Clarke didn´t exactly know why.

"Yes. My mother...she wouldn´t have been a big help anyway. Not as much as you are. You calm me down just with your presence and somehow you know exactly what I am thinking. Please come with me."

"Of course." There was a short moment of silence between them, but Lexa spoke up a few seconds later. "So, um...do you have plans for today? I would like to show you something."

Clarke recognized how hopeful Lexa sounded. She smiled and nodded. "I don´t have plans. But neither I have clothes to wear for the trip." She laughed nervously. There was no way she could wear the clothes from yesterday again. They were full of booze and beer and smelled badly.

"I´ll get you something to wear. You got comfortable shoes? It will take a while to walk to that place."

Clarke nodded. "Yeah. Mine are good."

* * *

"Will you tell me where we are going? We´re walking for almost an hour through the forest." Clarke complained but smiled nonetheless.

Lexa smiled right back and started walking backwards in front of Clarke so that she could face her. "It´s the route I´m jogging every morning. We´re almost there." She pointed towards a small clearing that came into view slowly.

"Thank god! You are really jogging the whole way up here, every morning?" Clarke looked stunned.

"Well, not today. But, yes, every day. I love the forest here and the place we´re going to manages every time to catch my breath." It was true. They were hiking towards the hill, Lexa visits every morning.

They walked a little while longer and then they stood on top of the hill.

"Wow! The view is amazing." Clarke swooned as soon as she saw how far she could look. "Now I get why you´re torturing yourself every day to see this."

"The view definitely is amazing." Lexa mumbled. But, she wasn´t looking down the hill. She was admiring the blonde standing in front of her smiling widely. Clarke stood there like a goddess watching her subjects.

"You aren't even looking." Clarke said laughing nervously. Lexa shook her head and felt the heat creeping up her neck. She was sure, she had turned red.

"No. My view is better." She walked over to Clarke and took her hands into her own. They just stood there forgetting about everything else in this world. The dinner with Lexa´s parents was far away as was Clarke´s mother who had obviously broken her promise.

Lexa closed her eyes to take it all in. The birds chirping, the wind lightly blowing and the blonde holding her hands. When she opened them again, she found blue eyes staring on her lips.

She had to wait for Clarke. She had promised they would go at her pace.

She saw the younger girl biting her lower lip as if she was trying to figure something out. Suddenly she lost the feeling of warm hand in her own and missed it instantly.

 _Was Clarke retreating? Was this too much?_

No.

Clarke placed her hands around Lexas neck and pulled her smoothly closer. Lexa grinned and placed her hands on the younger girl´s waist. She couldn´t wait for what was coming and leaned in, too.

She felt warm lips on her own and immediately her knees became weak. Electric pulses were rocking through her entire body and she closed her eyes. Clarke´s mouth moved perfectly in sync with hers and it made Lexa grin into their kiss.

It was light and delicate, but it was enough to leave both girls panting when Clarke pulled away slightly and rested her forehead against Lexa´s. They smiled like idiots but it didn´t bother them.

"Wow." Lexa hummed and smiled even wider when she leaned back in for a light kiss.

"Wow yourself." Clarke chuckled and looked into green eyes that shone with happiness.

 _ **Chapter 13**_

 _ _Was this real? Did that just really happen?__

Lexa opened her eyes again and found blue ones looking at her. It seemed to be true, because she could still feel this incredible sensation of Clarke´s soft lips on her own. Clarke had just kissed her and she wanted to jump from happiness. Lexa could still feel some electric pulses rocking through her body where Clarke was touching her and it made her knees weak.

The reality was so much better than the thoughts and dreams she had had about the blonde. Her lips were even softer as she had been able to imagine.

Clarke still had her arms around Lexa´s neck and held her close. Their foreheads touching and both absolutely stunned by the feelings that were seeping through their veins. Lexa could hear her own heartbeat in her ears and it was a lot faster than usual.

"That was amazing." She breathed out and was then rewarded with the smallest of chuckles from the blonde that occupied her entire mind. Even if it was barely audible, it was definitely the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. It sounded melodic and a little bit shy.

"What´s so funny?" The brunette asked then. Yes, she loved hearing Clarke chuckle, but she would like to know the reason, why Clarke was chuckling.

"Only a short time ago I would have laughed at the idea that something like this," She pointed onto both of them. "Would ever happen to me. You...changed me for the better. Before we met, I never would have let somebody into my life that fast, but...I don´t know. You make me feel safe, protected and you give me the feeling that you understand me. You aren´t just someone that barged into my life and disappeared as fast as he or she could. Yes. Technically, you barged into my life, but somehow...you´re different. I was able to trust you more than my own mother in this short amount of time. We met only a week ago, but..."

"It feels like we´ve known each other for much longer." Lexa finished what Clarke was about to say with a goofy smile on her face. Everything the blonde hat said was true. Lexa felt the same and therefore she knew, too, that these words weren´t enough to say what it feels like to be with Clarke. It was so much more than words could ever express. The sparkling sensation every time they touched or the just these deep and meaningful conversations they had already shared. Not to forget the kiss...incredible and amazing weren´t words that were strong enough to express what it had felt like, kissing this beautiful, on the inside and out, blonde girl, whose forehead was still against her own one.

"You encouraged me to come out of my small shell I build up over the years and somehow it feels like I can breathe again when I´m with you. I can forget everything and just focus on you. That is the greatest gift that was ever given to me." Clarke smiled with closed eyes.

Lexa couldn´t resist. She missed the feeling of these wonderful lips on her own ones and Clarke had just said something that made her heart want to explode in joy. She once again leaned down towards the girl, that was just a little bit smaller than her, and kissed her gently. Clarke was right. She was able to forget everything while being with the blonde girl.

Their kiss was gentle and soft, but the meaning behind it was so much more.

When they let go of each other´s lips, they were both panting from happiness and also from being completely stunned by the sensation of the kiss.

"Thank you so much." Lexa mumbled incoherently. Every stranger would now ask why she thanked Clarke, but the blonde understood without having to ask. It was a thank for multiple things.

 _ _Thank you for being here with me.__

 _ _Thank you for tanking the first step.__

 _ _Thank you for letting me in.__

In her eyes, Lexa could see that Clarke understood it. They shone brightly and it almost seemed as if they were battling with the sky about who was the more beautiful blue. Definitely Clarke´s eyes. That wasn´t even a question.

Clarke´s eyes had made blue Lexa´s new favourite color in the world. They were always so bright and every time the younger girl laughed, they turned into an even brighter shade.

* * *

They stayed a while longer on top of the hill, but soon it was already time for them to head back.

But they never left the other´s side. Their fingers were entwined and they walked close to each other, enjoying the feeling of warmth and comfort.

"Shall I bring you home, so you can prepare yourself for later?" She hated to have to bring up this topic again, but there was no way around it. It was already late afternoon and in three hours, they would meet up with Lexa´s parents.

"If that doesn´t bother you...it would be nice." Clarke said while grabbing her clothes from yesterday. "Um...I´ll give you your clothes back later, if that´s fine." She mumbled.

Lexa wanted to laugh at this incredible adorableness. "Keep them." She said while walking closer to Clarke. "They suit you better than me."

They did indeed. Clarke looked absolutely stunning in these clothes. But somehow, Lexa couldn´t get the image of Clarke wearing her practice-jersey this morning out of her head. Now in normal clothes she looked stunning, but in that jersey? That was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Yes. It was slightly cocky, but Lexa didn´t care. She liked the imagination of Clarke wearing a shirt, her shirt, with her name printed onto it´s back.

"But..." Clarke wanted to say something against keeping these clothes, but Lexa just smirked.

"I´ve got more than enough and again, these clothes suit you perfectly. Please keep them."

What she didn´t say was, that she really enjoyed the thought of Clarke having something that belonged to her. That the blonde would have a piece of her with her.

Clarke just huffed and nodded. Even if she would try to argue further, Lexa would never back down and this was something Clarke already learned about her, so the younger girl gave up.

"By the way...were are we eating tonight? I want to dress appropriately."

Lexa couldn´t help the small smile that made it´s way onto her face. She really liked the idea of Clarke being dressed up. Preferably in a dress. "The restaurant my parents picked is called Monet´s. I hope you like some French food?"

Clarke´s mouth fell open and she gasped. "Monet´s is freaking expensive! I could never pay that!"

It was true, Monet´s was an upperclass French restaurant in the city-center and it is one of the best in the whole city. Lexa loved it there. It´s cozy and beautifully decorated, the food is also otherworldly. Her parents had often taken her to this restaurant when she was younger and still lived with them. And sometimes these evenings felt as if she had a family.

"You don´t have to. My parents will pay." Technically her parents owned that building and they never had to pay, but she didn´t want Clarke to think of her like she was the rich, spoiled brat from her parents.

"They do all this without me paying for their services and now they pay my food? I can never repay this." Clarke panicked and started pacing around, until Lexa wrapped her fingers around the blonde´s wrists to stop the pacing.

She looked into eyes that had the word panic written all over them. "Clarke, breathe. It´s fine. Remember what I told you yesterday?" She looked into the younger girls eyes and stroke gently over Clarke´s knuckles. The blonde nodded and waited for Lexa to continue. "Sometimes you meet people that just want to help you. My parents, well..., they do this because they want to help you. You can trust them."

Lexa did, too. She had faith that her parents would play a big role in changing Clarke´s life for the better. They were literally some of the best in the whole world and never lost a case. In the courtroom they were positively scary and not even Lexa would allow herself to speak up to them. The boys that had hurt Clarke, had no chance to win this. They would go home as the losers they were and never step back into Clarke´s life.

They stood there for a while, Lexa drawing soothing patterns onto Clarke´s palm with her right hand and with the left she gently caressed the blondes cheek. "Everything is alright. You can do this." She murmured softly.

Clarke closed the gap between them and left a feather-light kiss on Lexa´s lips. "What have I done to deserve someone like you? This has to be a dream."

"You are who you are. That makes you deserving the world." Lexa whispered as she rested her forehead against Clarke´s.

"You deserve the world." Lexa mumbled again and looked into bright blue eyes.

 _ **Chapter 14**_

Clarke has been pacing through her room since Lexa dropped her off. She was neither able to form coherent thoughts in her brain, nor was she able to calm herself.

 _ _What if they don´t like me and won´t help me? What if I blow this up? What if I´m not strong enough to tell them?__

She felt nauseous and weak.

This could be the beginning of the end of all of that has happend to her. It could be the beginning of a new life, a better one. Now she had Lexa by her side, even if she still couldn´t believe this.

Lexa...the first girl that she ever kissed. The first girl she had some true feelings for.

She didn´t want to put a name on these feelings, not yet. She wasn´t even sure what they were besides strong.

Lexa made her feel so incredibly happy and with her she was able to forget the world. School, her mom, Finn and Murphy... all this didn´t matter to her when she was with Lexa. Instead of fear and self-doubts, she felt happy and safe. Lexa was the only person in this world besides her father that could make her smile, hell, even laugh. Normally she didn´t do such things, but with Lexa? It was different.

A quick glance on her watch made her mouth hang wide open. "Fuck!" She coursed, stopped her pacing and ran towards her closet. She dug through every drawer and threw every dress she owned onto her bed. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" She hissed again.

Clarke had absolutely no idea what she was going to wear. What was she supposed to wear while meeting her lawyers and parents of her best friend for whom she might have some feelings?

"To red...to fancy...to business...fuck!" One dress after another flew onto the ground as she tossed them behind her. Then she saw the light-blue dress, she bought a couple of months ago, because it matched with her eye-color. It was pretty simple but somehow a little elegant. The dress was not one for partying nor for a business-meeting. (Not that she did either of these two things.) It had a small diamond belt and the front side was a little shorter than the backside.

As quickly as she could she dressed and rushed into the bathroom. She had literally five minutes left for make-up. Great.

Clarke kept her make-up natural and simple, not wanting to overdress. She took a glance at her watch and sighed in relief. Lexa had to be here any minute.

As if Lexa could read thought, the doorbell rang and Clarke hurried downstairs and yanked the door open.

What she saw made her breath stuck in her throat. Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened.

Lexa stood there in a white button-up with black pants and a vest from a tux.

But Clarke was not the only one gaping, Lexa stood there, too, with her mouth wide open and unable to breathe.

"Clarke. You look...absolutely beautiful." The older girl breathed out and scratched the back of her neck. A trait Clarke has noticed that showed a bit of overwhelming and shyness. Yes. Lexa Woods was able to act shy.

"You look stunning, too." Clarke was able to get out while still taking the view of Lexa in. How was she supposed to concentrate now?

Lexa cleared her throat and reached out with her hand to take Clarke´s left hand into her right one. "I, um...would really like to...look at you longer, but we have a dinner to attend." She murmured. Now sounding somehow insecure.

Clarke closed her mouth and took Lexa´s hand. She allowed herself to breathe and closed her eyes for a second.

"Is everything okay? If that´s too much...we can ditch the meeting. They would understand." Lexa eyed her with worry written all over her face. "They won´t be angry or something like that, nor would they stop working on your case." Lexa had stopped their walk towards her Mustang and brought her free hand up to the blonde´s cheek.

"No! It´s fine. It´s just a big step...and I don´t know if I´ll be able...to tell everything. " Clarke was seriously scared. What if her story wasn´t enough? What if she wasn´t strong enough to tell it?

"Take your time. I´ll be by your side, okay? If you want, you can hold and squeeze my hand whenever you need to." Lexa squeezed her hand softly and brushed her thumb over Clarke´s cheek. "You can do it. I believe in you."

* * *

The whole ride, Clarke wasn´t really able to talk. In her head she replayed all of the scenarios that could possibly happen. There were far too many.

Lexa seemed to sense how tensed Clarke was and took her hand into hers and drew soothing patterns on the back of her palm while driving them to Monet´s.

"Clarke, we´re here." She said softly. Trying not to rip Clarke out of her haze to sudden.

Slowly the fog of thoughts in her head cleared and she shifted back into reality. She shook her head one time to focus and then looked at Lexa. The brunette was donning a half-smile, shy and barely noticeable. It was a kind of smile Clarke thought only she was able to see. It was a smile for Clarke. One that reassured her and gave her at least a little bit of confidence. "You can do it." Lexa said again and squeezed her hand which she hadn´t let go of since the beginning of their ride.

Clarke let out a breath and nodded. She could do it. With Lexa, she could do it.

They let go of each others hand, stepped out of the car and walked into the restaurant. Restaurant wasn´t even a word for this palace. Marble pillars were supporting the roof that was incredibly high. Expensive paintings were decorating the walls, gigantic chandeliers were hanging from the ceiling. All this left Clarke breathless. She had never been in such a fancy restaurant. Of course, she had been in some elegant ones but they weren´t able to hold a candle to this. Her parents were wealthy but seemingly not as rich as the people who are eating here.

"Miss Woods and Miss Griffin. Please follow me. Your parents are in one of the private rooms in the back." Lexa took Clarke´s hand as soon as she must have recognized that the girl was still admiring the architecture and not about to move.

The contact ripped Clarke out of her haze and sent electric pulses through her body. Lexa Woods held her hand in a public place, for everyone to see. It was probably just to get Clarke following the waitress, but it meant so much more to Clarke.

Lexa wasn´t ashamed of her. She showed to everybody that they are at least good friends and this in such a fancy, public place. This made Clarke´s heart flutter and her cheeks turn red.

"You´re okay?" Lexa sked then as she tucked Clarke along. The blonde was just able to nod, still overwhelmed and stunned by everything. The restaurant, Lexa and the meeting.

They walked through a long hallway into the area where Clarke assumed the private rooms were. Even this hallway was decorated with expensive stuff that probably cost more than Clarke´s whole furniture in her room.

Then they stopped in front of a dark, wooden door. "Your parents await you. I hope you will enjoy your evening." The waitress disappeared and left Clarke and Lexa alone.

"Ready?" Lexa asked and looked at Clarke. The blonde took one last deep breath and then nodded. "Yes."

The entered and were greeted by a tall, bulky looking man and a truly beautiful, dark haired woman. Lexa didn´t let go of Clarkes hand. No, She held it tightly to reassure the blonde girl.

"Miss Griffin. It is a pleasure to finally meet you." The man had stepped forward and reached out his hand. "Lexa told us so much about you." Reluctantly, Clarke let go of Lexa´s hand and shook both adults´ hands. Their handshake was firm, but Clarke already learned to do the same from her father. It showed confidence.

"Not that much." Clarke could nearly feel Lexa rolling her eyes and had to stifle a laugh.

"Okay. I think we´ll get right to it, if that is okay for you. You probably want to get it over with, right?" The man looked sincere. He definitely knew how to treat nervous clients, Clarke thought. He motioned for her to sit down and dragged out her chair.

"Thank you." She mumbled and he just nodded. It probably was the most normal thin in the world for him, but for Clarke it was most definitely not.

Lexa sat down right beside her and Clarke could feel a warm hand entangling itself with her own. The gesture calmed her down and her heartbeat slowed a little bit. Lexa was there. If it would become too much, she´d still have her to lean on.

"Okay Miss Griffin, or may I call you Clarke? What do you prefer?" Lexa´s mother then asked.

"Clarke is fine." She somehow hated being called Miss Griffin. It sounded so incredibly stiff and it simply didn´t fit. Her last name didn´t fit to her.

"Okay , Clarke. It´s Becca and Ryder then for you, too." The brunette woman paused for a short moment and showed a small smile. Now Clarke could see it. Becca´s smile looked exactly like the little ones Lexa sometimes showed. She looked like the older version of Lexa right now. "I can imagine that this is not easy for you, but maybe, we can begin with you telling us your story. Feel free to tell us everything, but if you don´t want to it is fine, too."

Clarke swallowed. __That´s it.__ She knew that this was coming. She knew she wouldn´t be able to avoid this. And she knew she could do it.

Lexa´s parents seemed nice and understanding. Clarke could sense something like that, but she could sense the tension between parents and daughter, too. Lexa sat straight and somehow had put on a mask as soon as they had entered the room.

She took a deep breath in. This was going to be a long story. And it´ll be the first time she tells the whole story.

"Okay...well, um, it started when I got into high-school. In freshmen year I somehow failed to make friends. I could find nobody that seemed to have the same hobbies or at least interests like me. I have always been an...introverted person," She had to swallow again. The memories of her first year were the pure horror. "I had a hard time making friends while everybody...had found a group of friends for themselves. The first few months...I, um, tried to get into one of these groups by spending my breaks with them. Or at least I tried to do so. All the time...they sent me away, because they had to discuss some secrets. That was what they said, at least...it was their excuse to avoid spending time with the outsider..." Tears were welling up in her eyes and she felt a squeeze of her hand. Lexa was still there and she was going nowhere. "Over the time...I stopped trying and just was on my own. I often drew in my breaks and put headphones into my ears. I...I wanted to black everything out. During sophomore year I met Raven Reyes and Octavia Blake...they´re somehow...not really my best friends. My only friends besides Lexa. But...I was already so closed off...I just never let them in entirely...I couldn´t. It sounds stupid,...but there is some kind of barrier in my head that tells me...that tells me that I have to protect myself from being let down." A tear made its way down Clarke´s cheek and she brushed it away furiously. Perfect. She was crying already and now they must think she is a freak.

Again she felt a squeeze and a thumb that ran soothing patterns onto the back of her hand. She took a deep breath and continued.

"This...I think...I think has to do with my mother. I..I can not count the times she ditched me for her work. Even now...she had promised to me that she´ll take more time for me, but...guess who´s working tonight?" She laughed somehow bitterly and failed to recognize how Lexa´s parents stiffened at this statement. "My father was always there for me...but now he is working in Africa and I can not contact him." The thought of her father warmed her heart a little bit, but also filled it with fear. She hadn´t heard from him in months. She didn´t even know how he was doing right now.

"The first two years I was simply a outsider...they let me be. At the end of sophomore year I was even able to live with this. I accepted it. Then in the summer-break, I made the biggest mistake in my life. I started dating...Finn Collins..." She had to swallow at the name of her main tormentor. Becca nodded in understanding and waited for Clarke to continue.

"Finn was just so charming, caring and obviously the best actor at school. He had at least three other girls he..." She cleared her throat. Not willing to describe it any further. "I, um, made the biggest fool out of myself, because I really thought he loved me. But that was...foolish. Finn was the famous boy every girl in school was swooning for and I fell for that idiot. After that...I don´t know what he told everybody, but...everything changed. B...bullying was now a normal thing in my life. It started with verbal insults...like 'Bitch' or something like that...but...a..after a while, they...the.." Her voice broke. She wasn´t able to hold back the tears anymore. Now she had to explain the hardest part of it...the part that really damaged her for her entire life.

"It´s okay Clarke. Do you want to take a break?" Lexa asked and turned her entire body, so she could face the blonde entirely. They both failed to notice the interested gazes of Lexa´s parents towards them.

Clarke just shook her head. No. She had to finish this.

"They started pushing me around...against lockers. Then at some point during junior year...Finn and his friend John Murphy...started...they started beating me for the next best reason. Since then...nothing has changed. I think you already know the story of the first day of school this year?" She didn´t want to tell this part again. It was not that long ago and the wounds were still fresh.

She was relieved when she saw Becca and Ryder nod. "Lexa told us. Clarke, this is a story, that really pains us to hear. Nobody should go through this and we´re more than happy to help you to stop this." Ryder spoke up with a sincere and truly pained look on his face. Somehow Clarke believed him. She believed that they will end this.

They sat a while in silence. Everybody trying to process what Clarke had just told them. She, herself was trying not to drown in these memories, not to loose herself in this darkness again.

A knock on the door interrupted their silence.

The waitress entered and must have immediately noticed the tension between the guests, because her fake-smile faltered for a second, before it was back in place.

"May I take you orders, or do you wish me to come back later?"

 _ **Chapter 15**_

They ordered their dinner and sat a while longer in silence. Lexa never let go of the blonde´s hand and never stopped caressing her palm. The story had hit her like a bus at full speed and she felt anger bubbling inside her.

Finn had told everyone that Clarke was the reason their relationship ended...god knows what he told about her. Probably that Clarke had cheated on him, while he was the actual asshole.

No matter how much she wanted to slam her fist on this darn table and to make Finn personally clear that he better not messes around with Clarke anymore, she had to remain calm. For Clarke. She was doing it for the girl that didn´t deserve the life that was given to her. But seriously, right now, Lexa wanted nothing less than drive over to this idiot and make it clear to him, that if he messes with Clarke one more time...he wouldn´t get out of this without serious damage.

 _ _It is going to happen. The case will destroy his life and will make it impossible for him to regain control over it. He will never get a job or a family...he´ll have nothing.__

She glanced over at Clarke and found her looking with an absolute blank expression. She was choking down the sobs that were obviously trying to escape her throat. Clarke had to cry but didn´t allow herself to do so.

"Hey...look at me." Lexa murmured, quiet enough so that her parents won´t hear much more than a whisper. "Clarke...look at me." The younger girl didn´t react. She was in a deep haze and Lexa had to pull her out of it. She brought one hand to the blonde´s cheek and coaxed her into looking in her direction.

Now Clarke seemed to snap back into reality. Her eyes widened and she let out a staggered breath. "It´s okay, can you hear me? Breathe...Clarke." Her thumb was drawing circles onto Clarke´s cheek and everything around her, her parents, the restaurant, even the waitress that brought their food, was vanishing from her view. She only saw Clarke.

She slowed her breath and signalised Clarke to match her breathing. Lexa carefully slowed their pace and brought it back to normal.

Clarke was now breathing normally again and her panic-attack seemed almost to be over.

"I´m sorry." She then mumbled. Becca was smiling sadly at her and Ryder looked worried.

 _ _They never looked at me like this. Not one time.__

Technically they were her parents, but in her eyes, they weren´t. Parents showed their daughter that they care for her and won´t send their only child away as soon as there is another opportunity to expand their empire. They had left her alone almost her entire life.

Lexa gritted her teeth but coaxed herself to swallow down the emotions that were bubbling inside her.

She shouldn´t think that way. Today was about Clarke and not about her first-world-problems.

"Don´t be." Lexa then answered before her parents could. "I´m not sure I´d be able to tell something like this. You did great and I´m so proud of you." She murmured then. All she wanted to do was engulf her in a hug and never let her go. She wanted to kiss her and reassure her that everything will be over soon.

"Do you think we should proceed, or do you want to meet a second time? We don´t have to continue right now." Ryder said and ripped both of the girls out of their little bubble.

"No. Please let us proceed. I just want it to be over." Clarke spoke, still a little weak but much stronger than just moments ago.

"Okay. We will tell you now, what we already found out and what will happen in the near future." Clarke nodded and Lexa squeezed her hand.

 _ _This asshole will pay for his mistake.__

"Mr. Collins has no criminal history, what would have been a great benefit, but your story and the ones from your friends will equalize this. Mr. Murphy is well known at the police-stations in D.C. Several break-ins, even violence and vandalism has been recorded. It will be easy to sue him and Mr. Collins, too. We already spoke to Indra, who is willing to testify in court. She will explain everything that she witnessed on that Monday. The court will believe an experienced teacher from high-school more than two teenage boys. We also have a couple of other witnesses. Raven Reyes and Octavia Blake already gave us the permission to name them as such. Lexa spoke to Anya, you know Anya Woods, right?"

Clarke stiffened at this name. Lexa knew why. Anya had bullied her, too.

"I spoke to Anya...she will explain the situation at your school and the reasons seemingly everybody wants to hurt you." After their fight, Anya came to her and said she wanted to make things right. She wanted to make up for the shit she had been doing to Clarke and Lexa and told her that this would be the only way.

Now Clarke let out a shaky breath. And nodded.

"Okay, I spare you the details because this is boring law-stuff, is that okay for you?" Again Clarke simply nodded and said nothing. "The court-date is on the ninth of September in D.C."

"This...is in three weeks. How...?" Clarke looked positively mortified.

"My parents are the Woods, Clarke. They get what they want." Lexa whispered to her. Her parents hadn´t understood a word, but they knew that Lexa had answered the question.

* * *

They had finished their dinner and everything that needed to be said had been said.

Lexa guided Clarke back to her car, but hesitated to get in. "Clarke?" She said, causing the blonde to stop her way towards the passengers door.

Clarke said nothing as Lexa approached her slowly.

"I am so proud of you." Lexa murmured and did what she wanted to do all night. She closed the gap and engulfed Clarke into a deep, meaningful hug. And it didn´t take long until she felt Clarke trembling in her embrace. She was crying.

"I want it to be over." She mumbled in between her sobs.

Lexa loosened her tight grip only enough to look into blue eyes, that were shining with tears. "It will be over soon." She cooed and brushed away a tear from the younger girls cheek.

"Will this be over then, too?" Clarke asked, her voice still trembling.

The simple thought of letting Clarke slip away from her. To loose her and live her life without her made Lexa cringe. Now tears were making their way not only down the blonde´s cheek, but also Lexa´s. She never wanted to let go of Clarke again and she´ll never leaver her alone.

"No. I´ll be there for you and I´ll never leave your side." She mumbled and brought her left hand down to Clarke´s chin, while her right was finding it´s way around the blonde´s waist. "I´ll always be with you." She said and then closed the gap between them.

The kiss was soft and tender. It was supposed to give them both strength, they needed so desperately. Everything around Lexa was vanishing and she never noticed her parents standing at the porch of the restaurant. She never heard her mother swooning about their strong bond and beautiful relationship. She only felt Clarke´s soft lips on her own. It was the only thing that mattered to her.

Being with Clarke was everything to her.

They parted and were both panting. Neither was it their first kiss, nor had it been that long, but it had still knocked the air out of their lungs. The feelings overwhelmed them and both were smiling like absolute fools.

This was what Clarke Griffin made out of her. A foolish, love-struck idiot.

But, this is what she wanted to be.

They rested their foreheads against each other and had their eyes closed, sucking the moment in.

The dinner and Clarke´s story where now far away, but also they weren´t. Lexa still felt the anger inside herself and she still felt so incredibly sorry for Clarke. All these things that had happened to the blonde were things nobody, and especially not Clarke, deserved. It was unfair.

"Lex?" Clarke the mumbled.

"Yes, Clarke?" She answered, her eyes still closed.

"Please, don´t let me go. I...I don´t want to loose you." She sounded so insecure, Lexa couldn´t help but tighten her grip around her.

"You will never loose me." Then she let go of Clarke and reached around her own neck. She unclasped the necklace that she had carried close to her heart since she was twelve. "Here. I want you to have this." She lifted Clarkes hand, opened it, placed the necklace in her palm and then closed it into a tight fist.

"What is this?" Clarke asked shyly.

"This is the last thing I have from my grandfather. He gave it to me the day he died." Lexa had to swallow. The memories of the loving old man that she spend almost every day with until he died when she was twelve. He had been there for her, played with her. He also was the one who taught her how to ride a bike and most importantly, how to be who she truly was. He was the person she first told that she was gay. "He was the most important person in my life. He shaped me and was there for me when my parents weren´t. I'd never give this to just anybody." A tear was escaping her eye.

"Lexa..." Clarke's voice was trembling and she held the fist with the necklace in it close to her heart.

"This is one of the only things that have true value to me...I want you to keep it close to you. This will always keep me close to you."

They met in a heated kiss that expressed all the emotions that were roaring deep inside them and left them both panting.

 _ **Chapter 16**_

Clarke woke up to her alarm clock and her found her left hand clutching to the necklace Lexa had given to her the evening before. She had never since she got it released her iron grip around it. But, now she had to. She couldn't walk around with a tight fist all day and therefore put it around her neck.

 _ _This will always keep me close to you.__

Clarke still heard Lexa's voice ringing in her ears. She couldn't think of her at school. She didn't want to. She didn't want to ruin her perfect mood.

But, the world was unfair. She got up with a groan and started her day with brushing her teeth and dressing. On her way into the kitchen she was surprised twofold.

Her mother sat there with a bunch of warm pancakes in front of her and her phone started beeping.

"Mom? I thought you're working today?" She asked disbelievingly. Her mother barely was at home in the morning and if she was, she was tired and was sleeping either on the couch or in her room. It was ages ago they had eaten breakfast together. Either there was something terribly wrong or her mother was really trying to be better. To be a better mother.

"I do. But, only this evening. I thought I´d make you breakfast and we could eat together." Abby smiled somewhat shyly, probably pretty aware of the strangeness of this situation.

Clarke beamed. She shouldn´t forgive that easily, but, she knew her mother was really trying. The older woman had worked all night, but stayed awake for Clarke and made her breakfast. She couldn´t help but smile at Abby and sit down on the opposite side of the table.

"Don´t you want to check that message you got?" Her mother then asked and eyed her curiously.

Clarke snatched her phone out of her pocket and unlocked it. If her smile wasn´t already impossibly wide, it certainly was now.

 _ _Hey,__

 _ _training is called off for today. Are you free this afternoon?__

 _ _We could hang out.__

 _ _-Lexa__

"Are you going to tell me who makes you smile like this?" Her mother then ripped her back out of her haze. Abby looked at her with an arched eyebrow, but the glint in her eyes told Clarke that she was happy, that Clarke may have found someone who was able to make her smile again.

Okay, how is she supposed to explain this now? __Hey mum, I may or may not have fallen in love with Lexa, but I´m not sure yet.__ Nope, definitely not. __Oh nobody. Raven just made a bad joke.__ Again, no. Clarke´s mother knew Raven wasn't awake yet.

"I-um, well, it's Le..Lexa." Clarke mumbled and suddenly her pancake was incredibly interesting. She never talked with her mother about something like that.

"Indra Woods' niece? The one we met back then?" Abby then asked, a happy smile in place.

"Yeah. That is the one I was talking about. She accompanied me yesterday evening at the dinner with her parents...which by the way went well." Clarke mumbled. Suddenly feeling sad again, that her mother didn´t have time for her. But, she shouldn´t be. Lexa was the better choice anyway. Her mother probably wouldn´t be able to handle one of her panic-attacks and she´d never be able to make her feel that warm and protected.

A look of pain crossed the older woman´s features. "I´m so sorry, I couldn´t be there with you...How can I make up for it?"

Clarke saw honest expression in her mother's eyes. It wasn't some kind of empty promise like the ones she had heard already so often that she could repeat them in her sleep. No. Her mother was being sincere and nothing less.

"It´s fine." She meant it.

"It´s not. Listen, Clarke." Her mother took a deep breath and continued. "I have been a terrible mother and there is no excuse for my behavior. I left you alone when you needed me the most and when Jake left. I want to change...I want to be there for you and most importantly I want to be your mother. You mean the world to me and only deserve being cared for." Abby had tears in her eyes and Clarke couldn´t help standing up and wrapping her arms around the crying and defeated woman.

"You´re right...you have been a terrible mother, but...I love you nonetheless. I admire you for what you´re doing at work...but next to caring about your patients-I felt like you forgot me." Clarke mumbled. Yes. She was being harsh, but, her mother needed to hear this. She needed to hear the truth and what Clarke had felt for all these years.

"I found a new job at the college...I´m going to be the athletes doctor and fitness-coach. I have to work less hours and regularly, not in shifts. It isn´t as well paid as my job now, but, spending more time with you and making things right I should´ve made right a lot earlier is worth it." Abby was rambling and left Clarke gaping. Her mother will quit the best job position possible, just to spend more time with her?

 _ _I shouldn´t allow this. She shouldn´t be the reason for her mother to quit her dream.__

But, it felt nice to be one time in the center of attention...

"Mom..." She started, but couldn´t proceed. Her voice broke and made it impossible for her to argue.

"It´s all settled. I´ll start next month and then I´ll finally be with you more often. Then we could eat breakfast every day together and I´ll be able to make you dinner. I´ll have time to listen to you and I´ll help you getting past everything. I´ll finally be there for you."

This was all she ever wanted and she wasn´t sure she wasn´t dreaming this. Could this be true? Was this her mother speaking of changing everything, just to be close to her again? Yes. It was.

This was probably the best morning in her entire life.

But, everything, no matter how perfect it was, had to end eventually. Clarke took a glance at the clock hanging above the door and found her eyes widening in shock. She was going to be late, if she´d take her bike.

"Here." Abby handed her a set of keys and Clarke stared at them. They weren´t the keys to her mother´s car, no. They were the keys to his fathers motorcycle.

"But take care of it. Jake would kill me if he finds it with a little scratch." Abby laughed a sad laugh at the thought of her husband, who she must be missing as much as Clarke missed him.

"But...I haven´t driven a bike for two years...since I got my license." Clarke stammered. That Bike was holy to her father and when she was smaller she wasn´t even allowed to touch it. But when she got older, her father gifted her the lessons to get the license.

"You can do it. Now go or you´ll be late." Her mother donned a sympathetic smile.

Clarke took of and hurried to the garage that contained the bike.

* * *

As soon as she swung her leg over the bike, she knew why her father loved this thing. It felt incredibly good and she felt free.

She took of at first with low pace, but as soon as she felt more confident with it again, she was speeding her way to school.

"Whoa, Griffin! Your father will kill you." Raven stood at their meeting spot on the parking lot and grinned at her. She knew the story about Jake Griffin and his beloved bike almost as good as Clarke herself, since he once found her tuning its engine.

"My mother gave me the keys." She smiled proudly and shut down the engine. "I have to tell you something, so see you at lunch?" She asked while starting to walk alongside Raven into the building.

The other girl nodded and went to her first class, while Clarke was now heading towards her English-literature class with Mrs. Woods.

Her day went almost smoothly. Some dumb comments about her being a coward for putting Finn and Murphy behind bars alongside with the normal amount of comments about her being an freak. But all this didn´t stop her from having the day of the year. Nothing could stop her right now.

"So, Griffin. What did you want to tell me?" Raven was leaning over the table as if Clarke was about to tell her a big secret.

"My mother will work at Polis-U next month. She´ll finally have time for me, Ray!" She nearly shrieked from happiness but knew better and just allowed her vice to sound exited. It had been hours since her mother told her she will quit Mount-Weather, but she still couldn´t believe this was real.

"Wow! I´m so happy for you! Everything will be better from now on!" Raven sounded almost as excited as Clarke herself, knowing exactly what this must mean to the blonde. "And then she gave you your father's bike...she's bein sincere Clarke". The Latina then added with a smug half-smirk in place.

They both then also talked about Clarke´s meeting with the Woods. While talking about it, Clarke found herself fiddling with the necklace that Lexa gave to her.

"Is this new? Where did you got it from?" Octavia was finally settling down at their table, too after presumably talking to Bellamy over the phone. She hadn´t heard what the girls were talking about.

Clarke felt the heat creeping up her neck into her cheeks. Was she going to be honest? Technically they were her best friends and she knew she could tell them everything, but there was something inside her that was stopping her to do so. It was the same feeling that told her at first to not get too attached to Lexa...it was no feeling. This were her trust-issues. And she had to fight them.

"I-um," She stopped. How was she going to explain this? She bit her lip and Octavia was squealing. "You are seeing someone! I knew it!" Now Clarke turned beet red. They weren´t dating...no. She wasn´t even sure what she was feeling,-well, this was bullshit, she knew what she was feeling. But she didn´t know what Lexa was thinking about her. "Who is it? I want all the details! Boy or girl?!"

Clarke's eyes widen and she was at a loss of words.

To her luck. The bell rang and she sighed in relief. Octavia was pouting and donned a deep frown, obviously disappointed.

* * *

As soon as the bell rang for the last time today, Clarke gathered her things and hurried out of the classroom, because she wanted to avoid Octavias Gattling-gun-like questioning about her love-life.

After stopping by her locker, she hurried out of the building. What she saw knocked the breath out of her lungs.

Lexa was casually leaning against the pillar that supported the small roof that was covering the entrance. She wore black jeans, combat-boots and a loose fitting dark red t-shirt with the __Polis__ written on it in black letters.

Clarke couldn´t move, too surprised to find the other girl standing there and waiting for her.

"Oh look! Little Griffin is again pining for somebody off limits!" She vaguely heard the voice of Atom behind her. "Ey, Griffin! You could always do my..." Another boy whose name Clarke didn´t know spoke up, but never finished what he wanted to say.

"Shut it!" Lexa growled from her pillar and made her way towards the group of teenage-boys. "Don't even think of finishing that sentence!" Her voice was so incredibly threatening the boys backed down a few inches.

Clarke couldn´t think. From a few corners she heard mumbling about why Lexa Woods, __the incredibly famous football-star__ , was doing here, but she didn´t really pay any mind to these voices. All she could see was that Lexa was defending her in front of the whole school from a bunch of idiots.

"Back off and leave her alone! She once again growled, this time with even more force, which made the boys run for their dear lives.

Clarke stood there, mouth wide open, unable to understand what was happening until she found two strong arms engulfing her in an intimate hug. "Lexa." She whispered. "What are you doing here?"

Lexa loosened her firm grip on Clarke's waist, so that she could look into blue eyes. "I told you I was free this afternoon and you didn´t answer me...so I stopped by." She smiled and pushed a loose strand of hair behind Clarke´s ear.

Clarke just had to lean in and capture these beautiful lips with her own. She was so full of emotions right now and somehow needed to tell Lexa all this. Kissing her seemed the best way to her.

 _ **Chapter 17**_

 _ _Lexa smiled as soon as she saw Clarke exiting the building, alongside with some other students. And the blonde was even smiling, but looked quite a bit taken off guard.__

 _ _"Oh look! Little Griffin is again pining for somebody off limits." She heard a dark haired boy say to his friend who smirked in response.__

 _ _Lexa was already fuming. What made them think hat she was off limits? If somebody was here off limits it was definitely Clarke.__

 _ _But it was the next comment that really made her angry.__

 _ _"Ey, Griffin! You could always do my..." Lexa knew what he wanted to say and was nearly about to make him regret it. Make him regret that he even thought about saying something like that to Clarke. But, she knew that Clarke would never look at her again if she would beat the hell out of him for something like that, so she instead just growled.__

 _ _"Shut it! Don´t even think about finishing that sentence!" She knew exactly what her voice was capable of. She knew it would affect these immature idiots. "Back off and leave her alone!" Now she put even more force into her voice.__

 _ _She couldn´t hide her smirk when she saw the boys run for their dear lives.__

 _ _Cowards. All it took was growling at them?__

 _ _Then she found blue eyes staring at her. Clarke was in shock that much was clear and Lexa couldn´t help but hurrying towards her and engulf her in a bone-crushing hug. If every day was like that for Clarke, Lexa couldn´t imagine how this girl hadn´t fallen apart yet. At least not completely.__

 _ _It made her admire her even more. Clarke really was somebody else. Somebody who was worth it.__

 _ _"Lexa. What are you doing here?" Lexa heard Clarke mumble into the crook of her neck and couldn´t help the little smile that made it´s way onto her features. She loosened her grip around the younger girls waist to put some distance between them, just to look into blue eyes. She brushed blonde hair behind Clarke´s ear and smiled at her. "I told you I was free this afternoon and you didn´t answer me...so I stopped by."__

 _ _The next moment she felt warm and soft lips on hers. At first she was taken off guard by Clarke´s action, but, she quickly got into it and kissed her back. Both hands on the younger girl´s hips to pull her close.__

She never heard the other students gasping in shock or Octavia's shrieking. Everything but Clarke was a blur and wasn´t important to her right now.

When the had to stop because they needed to breathe everything stayed blurry, but it didn´t matter.

"Thank you." Clarke mumbled incoherently, but Lexa knew exactly what she was saying. Somehow she just knew what was going on in Clarke´s head right now. There was no explanation for the connection she felt to the younger girl.

It feels like she is pulled towards Clarke by an invisible force. It feels like she understands what is going on in the other girl's head and what was bothering her.

And all this made her think of something her grandfather had told her once. There are people who can trust each other blindly. They understand each other without words being spoken. They just know what the other one is thinking and what he or she wants to say. Her grandfather told her that this was what made some people soulmates. Their souls are connected and always find their way back together. Without one soul, the other wouldn´t be able to exist.

Was this what she was feeling? The explanation her grandfather had given her years ago, sounded surreal and impossible back then, but now? Now it made somehow perfect sense. Everything clicked inside her head. That was why she was able to build a strong relationship with the blonde that fast...probably.

Lexa never had been someone who believed in the old beliefs of her ancestors, but now she had to rethink.

"Is every day like this?" Lexa found herself asking. If yes...she wasn´t sure she would be able to stand all this bullshit if she were in Clarke´s place.

"Today is...literally the best day of the whole school-year." Clarke said with a wide smile on her face.

Lexa couldn´t help furrowing her eyebrows. __How could this be the best day of the year?__ Clarke had been bullied literally five minutes ago and now she stands there and says that this is the best day of the year?

Lexa knew that there had to be something that made the blonde that happy and that overshadowed everything that just happened. She just didn´t know what.

"How about I give you a ride and we´ll talk about it at the lake?" Clarke then asked.

"Okay, but, maybe I should give you a lift, since my car is a little bit more comfortably than your bicycle, am I right?" Lexa asked with a bit humor in her voice. It was cute that Clarke wanted to give her a ride.

"More comfortable than my bicycle, yes, but as thrilling as a ride with a motorcycle? I don´t think so." Clarke was smiling and pointed at a black motorcycle that stood in the parking-lot.

Lexa's brow furrowed in confusion. "This is yours? Since when do you drive a motorbike?"

"It's my father's, but Mom gave me the keys this morning. I got the license two years ago, actually." Now Clarke chuckled and Lexa couldn't help, but stare a the girl in absolute admiration. This was something that fitted to Clarke. Driving a motorcycle means being independent and free...Clarke had to be independent all her life and free was something she probably needed to feel sometimes, when everything around her seems to crash down on her again.

"I´m up to it." Lexa said with a smirk. They both started their way towards the bike, when Clarke suddenly turned around.

Raven had grabbed her arm and smirked devilishly at her. "Good thing, your father always had a second helmet with him, right?" Lexa heard Raven say, but she politely zoned out of the conversation. It was Raven talking to Clarke and not to Lexa, so she just stood there and waited for their talk to end.

"Are you...are you Alexandria Woods?" She suddenly heard a small voice behind her ask. She turned around and found two young girls standing in front of her, not older than probably fifteen. Freshmen, she assumed.

"Yes? What can I do for you?" She asked politely, already used to something like this. A small half-smile spread over her features and she looked at the girls, who were fidgeting with the hems of their shirts.

"We, um...saw all of you games last year... and um are your biggest fans!" The one who hadn't spoken yet told her with a somehow unsteady voice. Lexa was used to this, but, that didn't stop her from feeling honored. "You are a fantastic player and, um, you are our role-model." The other one, a blonde girl said.

"Thank you. You are, too, playing football?" She asked, just to be polite.

"Yes! Alex over here is our quarterback at the junior-team and I'm a wide-reciever ! But..." It seemed as if her good mood was suddenly exchanged. Now she looked somehow sad.

"But what? That sounds great. Both positions are really important:" Lexa tried to brighten the mood again, but the girl just shook her head.

"We won't be able to participate in the juniors-championship this year. Our coach, she became pregnant and takes a break for this year to care of her kid. And no coach, no competition."

Lexa's eyes widened. These girls really loved to play, that much she could tell from the glint in their eyes, while talking about the sport. But that they won't be able to play, really hurt Lexa. Nobody should be stripped off the privilege of executing their hobby.

She stood there for a short moment, thinking about what she could do to give these girls an opportunity. There was something she could do...but she wasn't sure if she would be able to fit it in her schedule.

It had to fit, there was no way she would do otherwise. "Is Jaha still your principal?" She found herself asking. Jaha had been the principal at this school since forever and her really adored her back in the time she visited this school. If he still was in charge, she could get her plan through.

"Yes?" The girl that was called Alex by the other one asked confused.

"Well, I'll see what I can do, okay? Maybe we'll see us tomorrow, if I can stop by to have a good talk with him about your team." She said with a smile.

"Really? You'll try to get us back on the turf?" The other girl asked disbelievingly and Lexa simply nodded, while she saw Clarke in her peripheral vision, obviously waiting for her now. Raven long gone.

"Okay, my ride is waiting, see you." She said her goodbye and made her way over to the blonde who donned a wide smile.

"Tell me it's true what I'm thinking you are planning?" Clarke said when Lexa stopped by her side. She handed Lexa a helmet which the brunette happily accepted.

"Well, I can imagine what you're thinking and if I'm right, then...yes it's true." Lexa said with a smirk. She was sure that Clarke was thinking of the same thing as her, simply, because that's what they always do.

"You are amazing." The blonde blurted out, her cheeks turning instantly red and Lexa knew she didn't plan on saying that out loud.

"Oh please...now it's probably my turn to brag about how amazing you are, but," She closed the gap between them and placed her free hand around Clarke's waist, to pull her closer. "That's not even a word for it." She simply said and placed a gentle kiss on soft lips.

Amazing was already a strong word, but it wasn't enough to describe the blonde or the way she made Lexa feel. She made her feel warm and happy and all of the other emotions she could think of. Her heart wanted to explode in joy every time she saw the girl.

Lexa knew what this feeling was. She knew it, but was she ready to put the right name to it? She didn't want to scare Clarke away, because she already developed so strong feelings in this short amount of time.

"Ready for a thrill?" She heard Clarke ask. The younger girl had effectively drawn her out of her daze.

"Of course." She said with a smirk while she watched Clarke get onto the bicycle. Lexa followed shortly after and before she could really process it, the engine was roaring and they took of onto the street towards the lake.

 _ **Chapter 18**_

Clarke felt so incredibly happy while she was speeding through the afternoon-traffic. Lexa had her arms around her waist and she practically could feel the older girl smirk behind her. She was enjoying this as much as Clarke was herself.

The ride wasn't a long one, but it certainly was one of the best she ever had. Not that she had been driving a lot lately. But she certainly would from now on.

She parked the bike in a nearby lot and they walked the last couple of meters side by side towards the small lake. Clarke knew a little secret space, where nobody would disturb them. She guided Lexa through the small woods that surrounded the lake to the small clearing and they sat down on a trunk that was left behind by one of last year's storms.

Clarke found herself smiling like a fool. She had never shared this space with anybody. It had all the time been just hers and nobody else's. This was the place she went to escape from everything or from herself. It was her save haven, until somebody else became just that. And this somebody was sitting right now beside her.

"My mom quitted her job at Mount Weather...she says she wants to spend more time with me, to finally become a family again." Clarke found herself saying with a wide smile on her face, but it wasn't as wide as the one she saw forming on Lexa's lips. It nearly looked as if it would turn out wider as her face was. White, perfectly straight teeth were exposed and Clarke found herself staring at this beauty for a moment too long.

"Now I get what makes you so happy. That are great news, Clarke!" The brunette said with a matching excitement to her smile.

That was what ist must feel like to be truly cared for. That somebody really cared for her life and well-being.

That was what being home must feel like.

Clarke felt two strong arms finding their way around her waist and pull her closer to Lexa. The older girl wanted to coax her into sitting on her lap, what she did as soon as she understood the movements.

"I am so happy for you." She heard Lexa whisper into her ear.

She turned and looked into bright, green eyes that looked at her in pure amazement. But, she saw something different in them.

Lexa was deeply in thoughts about something.

"Lexa, what are you thinking?" She then asked and leaned forward to connect their foreheads. Clarke saw the brunette close her eyes and biting her lower lip. "You can tell me." She murmured again and let her left hand find Lexa's. The contact seemed to extract Lexa out of her thoughts, at least enough to let her watch into Clarke's eyes again.

* * *

Lexa was truly happy for the blonde girl...hell she just wanted to keep her close and never let her go because she was so happy, but there was something lingering on her mind.

Clarke had been open about everything in her life to Lexa. She had told her that she was bullied, that she even was physically hurt and that she really had trust-issues. She had told her everything.

And Lexa?

Lexa had one story that had changed her life and that she never told anybody. This story was the reason she wasn't able to name her feelings towards Clarke yet. Only if Clarke knew this part of her...they might go forward and then Lexa might finally be able to say it. If Clarke understands, of course.

It was the story that shaped her and made her, who she was today.

Clarke's words were echoing through her brain. She really could tell her. They trusted each other.

"Clarke...I...there is something I haven't told you yet." She mumbled. Lexa really felt bad for destroying Clarke's perfect mood, but she had to tell this story right now. Clarke deserved to know everything about Lexa.

"Tell me." Clarke replied quietly. A serious expression on her face.

Lexa took a deep breath and swallowed hard, while the memories came crashing back to her. "Her name was Costia ...she, um, was my girlfriend for five years." This sentence took so much energy from her, that she instantly felt drained. The only thing giving her the strength to continue was the girl sitting in her lap and holding her hand. "She...I met her when I was twelve, she was in the grade above me. Back then...I wasn't really sure about myself. I had always felt different, but couldn't say why and when I met her...I could." She had to close her eyes to prevent tears from falling down her cheek. Clarke just sat there and watched her patiently. At the next memory she had to smile a sad, nearly invisible smile. "From the first moment I saw her...I was head over heels for her. After a while I finally was brave enough to ask her for her number. We started spending a lot of time together...almost every day one of us visited the other. There was no day, where we wouldn't have seen each other." These were the happy memories, that would probably make her smile, if she didn't know the ending of the story. "One evening...the day before her fourteenth birthday, she had invited me for a sleepover to celebrate with her, we laid down on the trampoline in her garden. We were talking about all this stupid children's bullshit and suddenly...she kissed me. It had been a small, short peck on the lips, but back then it turned my world upside down. A few weeks later...after she had asked me to be her girlfriend, I wanted to come out to my parents. She was there and held my hand during it...she had always been there for me."

Her come-out had been, thanks to Costia, not as bad as she thought it would be. Her parents at first had a hard time realizing it, but, they did their best to make it as easy as it could be for her. Her father kept making jokes about him and Lexa going out one day and finding her a decent woman. She had been thankful for that, since she never expected her parents to be so open about it. Her mother even claimed that she knew this way before Lexa was brave enough to tell them.

"Costia was my first for everything. First kiss, first girlfriend, first love, I guess and when I was turning seventeen and she was eighteen...the first time. Well, we were together for five years and I really thought that if we managed to stay together through the whole growing-up thing, then it would never end, but I was a fool." Now came the part of the memories she always wanted to push away as far as she could. The partvthat ripped her heart into small pieces, which may never be put back in place.

"One night...Costia and I went for a walk through the small park. It was a chilly night and I had given her my jacket after I saw that she was shivering," Every goddamn detail about that night was burned into her memory. "We walked, watched the stars and then on our way back..." She had to swallow and take a deep breath. "Everything went too fast. I felt a struck on the back of my head by something heavy and everything went black before I could proceed what was happening. The next thing I know is waking up in a hospital-bed with two police officers waiting for me to wake up. They told me that I had been attacked by someone and that a pedestrian had found me lying unconscious in the park with a bleeding gash on the back of my head and obviously undercooled. The only thing in my mind was where Costia was. I started hyperventilating and asked them where she was. They just looked at me and told me straight in the face, that she is missing. My world crashed together and I felt responsible for her disappearance...I let myself drift into depressions and the only thing that kept me halfway sane was that I threw myself into playing football. The police searched the whole town and the first couple of weeks I still had hope that maybe, she got away and would return home. That she would return to me."

Lexa found herself trembling and biting her lower lip almost with enough force to draw blood. Clarke just listened.

"The weeks turned into months and the months turned into a year...then, all my hopes were ripped apart from a newspaper report with the headline 'Missing girl's body found!' Exactly one year and seven days after her disappearance, they found body-parts that could be identified as hers. The head had been removed and was buried a couple of yards away from her body. This was the day I realised that I was the reason her parents would never see their daughter again. I wanted to go for a walk. I could have protected her, if I would have paid more attention to the surroundings, but I let it happen...She is dead because of me." Now Lexa cried. Sobs were shaking her entire body and she clung to Clarke as if it was her only lifeline.

Clarke let her cry. She let her do exactly, what she needed right now. She let her fall apart. Only telling her that she still there by drawing soothing patterns onto Lexa's back.

A couple of minutes, it may have been a hour, Lexa's sobs became less and Clarke found the courage to speak up.

"Lex..." Lexa felt the blonde's index finger tilting her chin back up and coaxing her into looking into blue, glassy and wet eyes. "Thank you." The blonde just said while looking directly into her eyes.

Why was she thanking her?

Clarke seemed to notice the question that Lexa had yet to ask and answered it before she did ask it at all. "For being honest. For sharing this part of you with me." Lexa could see in her eyes that Clarke hadn't finished what she wanted to say and waited.

Secretly she waited for Clarke to blame her like she did herself, but it never came. Clarke just looked at her with an emotion in her eyes...was it love? Could it be?

"Please Lex...stop thinking that way. You are not the reason that this happened and there is no way you could have prevented it. Lexa, you don't have eyes in the backside of your head nor can you smell that you were about to being attacked. Please." Clarke looked at her pleadingly now.

"But, I can't. I can't stop blaming myself for..." Then she felt a finger on her lips and instantly stopped talking.

"Listen. I always blamed myself for all that what happened to me. I always thought I am the single reason." Clarke said. Her voice steady and confident.

This was bullshit. If somebody was to blame for all that, it was most certainly Finn and nobody else. He was the reason the whole bullying thing started and he was the reason Clarke now had a small scar crossing her right eyebrow. Clarke had never been the reason for any of this. Never and she never will.

Just in the moment Lexa wanted to speak up, Clarke continued. "But you know what changed that?" The blonde looked at her now with the warmest of all expressions written on her face.

Lexa didn't know the answer, so she shook her head. "Tell me." She mumbled. Whatever helped Clarke might help her, too. At least she could hope, right?

"You. You came into my life and tore me out of this self-destructive circle I got myself into. Before you were there I let all that what happened just happen and did nothing against it. I felt like a nobody who had no right to stick up for being treated respectfully, but then, I met you and you...you made me feel again that I am somebody...somebody who someone cared for. You made me see the value of living again, because every time I am with you...I feel like I can finally be who I am again. I don't have to be somebody else or I am not pushed into some drawer with people that are somehow like me, no, I am myself." Now it was Clarke's turn having tears streaming down her cheeks and Lexa just had to lean forward and plant a kiss onto her trembling lips. This was definitely the greatest gift she ever achieved.

"Clarke?" She found herself asking. The blonde looked up and met her eyes.

Now was the time to say it. They hadn't been on a date, at least not really, and they were not officially together, but it somehow felt as if they skipped that stage. Like they didn't need it.

"I love you." The words left her mouth now easily. What Clarke had said just seconds ago had only given her more strength. And now she felt like she could carry the whole world on her shoulders, just with Clarke by her side.

The blonde was grinning as much as Lexa did and let out a sigh. "I love you." She breathed and the next moment their lips were meeting in a kiss that basically screamed their love out into the world.

After a while of kissing, they both needed air. Lexa used the chance to cup Clarke's cheeks with her hands and get lost in their blue depth. "Will you be my girlfriend?" She asked. It was kind of formal, since she already knew what Clarke was feeling, but she wanted to do it right.

"Yes!" Clarke answered overdramatically which caused Lexa to roll her eyes.

Their kissing continued and became more heated with every second of it. They got lost in the others presence and the pure feeling of their love.

 _ _This is what being home feels like.__

 _ **Chapter 19**_

After a short while, at least it felt short, they separated from each other, both heavily panting and smiling like fools.

When Clarke opened her eyes, she found Lexa chuckling silently, a somehow strange expression on her face. "What's so funny?" Was Lexa making fun of her? No. That was something the brunette wouldn't do, right?

"This," The older girl pointed between them, as if there was an invisible connection between them both. "This reminded me of a story my grandfather used to tell me all the time. I never believed any of it, but now? It starts to make sense." Lexa had a glint of amusement in her eyes.

That was an explanation, that was really not helping. A story her grandfather had told her? Perfect. "What was the story about?" Clarke asked. She really wanted to know. Lexa had told her some things about her grandfather, but nothing really specific.

For a short moment, it looked like Lexa was trying to put what she wanted to say in the right order. "Well, before you understand this, you have to understand what a person he was," Lexa had a expression on her face, that told Clarke that she was far away with her thoughts. Probably reliving some memories. "He truly believed in the stories that my ancestors were telling from generation to generation. Most of these stories are weird fairy-tales they told to make their people believe in the three powers wor, jus and hodness."

So Lexa descended from some sort of tribe of natives? That would make sense, Clarke thought. It also fitted somehow with her looks.

"This might all sound strange, I know...but, I will tell you more about our tribes at another point of time. Okay?" Clarke could only nod, now completely intrigued by Lexa's history. "Right...the story I had to think of was won tombom. It means one heart. My grandfather always tried to explain it to me through the example of him and my grandmother. He said that they were able to trust each other blindly and without having to ask, what the other one needed in that moment. They trusted and understood each other more and better than any other person in the world."

All this sounded so familiar. Clarke knew these feelings not for a long time, but she learned them the last couple of weeks. She had learned to trust and she had learned to understand Lexa better than probably any other person. Lexa had crashed into her life and ripped her out of the endless circle, she let herself being sucked into. Somehow she instantly had felt a deep familiarity in the brunette. They understood each other better than after only two hours than her mother and she ever would.

Some may say it was strange, but to her it wasn't.

A gentle finger that tilted her head up to meet Lexa's green gaze ripped her out of her thoughts. "That reminded me of us. The story is a little longer than that and becomes more and more a weird little fairy-tale, just like the others, but this part of it. This part reminded me of us." Clarke felt two arms bringing her closer to Lexa's lips.

The kiss was gentle and sweet. It was more of telling the other one what words weren't able to express than pure sexual tension.

"Your grandfather sounds like he was a wise man." Clarke said with a small smile on her dace, while her eyes remained closed. She really meant it. Of course, if there was some mystical power behind it...that part she wouldn't believe. She already sometimes had a hard time believing in the existence of god and then starting to believe in some strange powers? No. Definitely not.

But she loved the part Lexa had told her. It was so on spot of what she was feeling.

"Don't say that too loud...I still can hear him chuckling when he was able to prove, that he was right." Lexa said with a small laugh.

She must have really loved that man.

"But yes, he was a wise man. For every situation, for every strange feeling that I wasn't able to place...he had the right words for it. He was always on spot with his words and he was the most understanding person in the whole world." Lexa seemed lost in thoughts. Her gaze was unfocused when she looked in no particular direction. "It was him who I first talked to, because of the strange feeling of being different from others. It was before I had met Costia...so I wasn't really able to name it, but he could. He didn't say it directly. More like 'some people are different from the others, Alexandria. They love in a different way, but not in a less beautiful way. You are most certainly one of these people, what makes you even more special.'" Lexa had mimicked an old mans voice in such a hilarious manner that Clarke couldn't contain her laugh.

Lexa laughed with her.

After their laughter died down, Clarke bit her bottom lip. "I never told my mom." She then admitted.

Everybody knew somehow, but she had never told her own mother that she was bisexual. She never felt the need to, because she knew that woman would simply yawn , because she was too tired to really proceed what her daughter had just told her.

"It's fine. She'll accept it the day you are ready to tell her." Lexa said now with a serious and thoughtful voice.

 _ _Blind understanding. Blind trust.__

Clarke felt her heart swell in her chest. Lexa didn't push her and somehow this made her love grow. If that's even possible.

"I think, I want to tell her soon...she really tries now to be better...she deserves to know." Clarke mumbled. Her mother really had done something almost incredible, just to be closer to her daughter again. She had quitted the job she fought for for such a long time.

It was Clarke's turn to try and rebuild some of the trust between them.

"Okay." Lexa simply replied and Clarke was so grateful for this simple understanding behind this word. It felt like Lexa knew the reason.

"Will you be there?" She asked the brunette. It was a lot to ask for, but she really could use the strength, Lexa was always able to give her. Clarke would need a hand that she could hold tightly while doing it.

Yes. She was aware of the fact that she was attracted to both women and men for quite a lot of time now, but somehow this still felt like she was bungee-jumping from the highest building she could think of. What if her mother wouldn't accept it and everything would go south again?

"If you want me there, I'll be by your side." The brunette replied with a honest expression on her face.

Clarke smiled and nodded. She inched closer Lexa and kissed her passionately. "Thank you."

They both knew, it wasn't just a thank you for going through this with her together. No. It was a thank you for the whole afternoon.

* * *

They were on their way back to Clarke's motorcycle when Lexa's phone started ringing. She fished out of her pocket without giving the caller's ID a glance.

"Hello, Lexa Woods speaking." She offered with her polite, business-like voice that she barely used anymore.

"Lexa, darling. How are you?" Lexa rolled her eyes and had to stifle a sigh. Her mother's fake-friendly voice was still ringing through her head.

"Great. You?" She asked, simply to be polite. Lexa already knew that this was a phone-call with some motive behind it. Her parents never called her without having a reason. They never called just to ask, if she was doing alright.

"Fine, I guess. Work has been busy lately. Lexa?" She heard her mother ask. This was the moment her mother will tell her the reason behind the call. "Yes?" She simply asked. "So, Lexa...we have this benefit-gala in three days. I know it is a little short dated, but we want you to come."

Fucking perfect. Her day had been really great, literally perfect. She told Clarke that she loved her and Clarke said it back...they were now together and had another chance to get to know each other more. And now her mother was calling and asking her to come to one of their darn galas?

These things were for the people that really felt like they belonged there. To the rich and famous people that always felt like they were the best on earth. These galas were just another excuse for them to tell people how great they are.

Lexa was rich. Yes. But she hated these events. She was always there as some kind of jewellery that her parents wanted to show off to everybody on their party. At least she felt that way.

She glanced over to Clarke, who was watching her curiously with some sort of worry written on her face. She simply nodded to ensure the younger girl that she was fine.

Her mothers question was no real question. Even if Lexa would say that she didn't want to come, her parents would end up dragging her there by her ears.

"Okay," She sighed defeated. There was no other way than that. "Three days from today?" She asked one last time.

"Yes. Okay, we send you your ticket with the mail. There is a second one for a plus-one if you want to bring somebody with you." Her mother's voice sounded as if she knew exactly that she was about to show up with somebody by her side.

"Okay. See you in three days." She sighed once again and ended the call. Lexa closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"What was that about?" The blonde that still held her other hand looked into her eyes.

"My mother. The great and rich Woods are hosting a benefit-gala once again. And they need their daughter to brag about her because of her god knows how perfect accomplishments and stunning looks." She said with as much sarcasm in her voice as possible. But it were the exact words that hit the mark. She simply was the armcandy for her rich parents that always need to prove themselves in their society.

"Sounds...great." Clarke said with the matching sarcasm in her voice. Lexa felt her heart swell in her chest.

This girl was perfect and she loved every new side of her that Lexa got to see.

"It's three days from now. I can't wait." Lexa then replied with an exaggerated eye-roll.

"And you're there all alone while your parents brag about themselves and you?" The blondes voice sounded incredulous.

"Well...technically I got a second ticket for a plus-one, but, I, um, don't want to drag you to this shit-show and Anya is probably hanging out with Raven, so...yep it's just me." Lexa really didn't want to make Clarke come to this gala. It was boring and incredibly superficial. Definitely nothing for the blonde, because she was neither of them.

"Well, what if I wanted to support my beautiful girlfriend during this gala?" The flirtatious voice Clarke spoke with was completely new to Lexa. It was kind of raspy and low.

She loved it.

She loved her.

"Um...you sure?" She didn't want that Clarke was just doing this, because she felt like she had to.

"Yes." Clarke shrugged and smiled.

Lexa couldn't help but pulling her in a warm embrace and kiss her. Maybe this even won't be that boring after all.

"But..." Clarke managed to get out between their kisses, which made Lexa instantly stop. "I need to buy a new dress...so. When is your practice called off tomorrow?"

Lexa gave her an incredulous smile. Why was this girl so freaking perfect? "I'm at practice from 1.30 pm to 4pm. But since I have to shower...I'll be ready around 4.15, probably." There was no way she would be at Clarke's doorstep before 5 pm and that might be too late.

"Perfect. I'll come to the stadium then and then you can give me a ride downtown and we'll go shopping, okay?" The blonde had a sincere expression on her face almost as if she was thinking about something.

Lexa hadn't thought about Clarke driving to the stadium. She had always been a gentlewoman and picked her dates up, but now she was sure she would never be able to convince Clarke to stay home and wait for her.

"I'd rather pick you up, but since I know that you won't let me...fine. You'll find me in the girl's locker room." She donned her most mischievous smirk when she saw Clarke blush furiously. She shook her head and let out a small laugh. "If you like this more, you could wait outside of the player-tunnel, too."

Clarke hit her playfully on her shoulder and Lexa shot her a feigned glare.

They both laughed and continued their walk towards Clarke's bike.

 _ **Chapter 20**_

Lexa showed up to practice with the dumbest grin on her face that her team had ever witnessed. It probably even scared them since she got some weird looks and caught some of her players raising their eyebrows at her.

"Good morning, Team!" She greeted them nonetheless, but her smile was replaced with her stoic expression she always wore while playing football or speaking to her team. She needed to to keep her commander's mask up, even if she felt like nothing could wipe that grin out of her face.

"Good morning, Commander!" Her team shouted back and as always she felt shivers run down her spine.

This title was what she had worked for so hard and hearing it being chanted by her team always made her incredibly proud.

"Warm up! Six laps! Then we meet here again and do some sprinting and aiming drills!" She shouted. As always she had the practice planned through and was prepared for it.

Her team took of and she found her place next to Miller once again. The always smiley boy always was able to lift her mood with his simple chatting. She really liked being around him.

"What got you all chirpy today, Commander?" He asked with a mischievous smirk in place. He had one eyebrow raised and scanned her face for any emotions, which she of course hid.

"Had a great day yesterday. At least until my mother called and 'invited' me to one of their stupid galas. But other than that my afternoon had been perfect." She said, her expression still blank, but it became harder and harder for her to hide that stupid grin the more she thought about her evening. The more she thought about Clarke.

Her girlfriend.

She still couldn't believe that this really happened. That Clarke really said yes. Lexa had to bite on the inside of her cheeks to prevent herself from becoming a puddle of emotions. Hell, she would probably even giggle. She. The Commander. Would giggle.

"That's great! So you really used your time, right?" She knew what he was doing. Miller wanted to lure her into telling him what got her all happy today, but she wouldn't tell him.

"Yeah, I did. What did you do in your new won freedom? Since didn't have me pushing you to your limits?" She asked, smoothly changing the topic. Now Miller had to talk and she wouldn't have to explain everything.

"Well, I studied. Had to catch up with some classes." He shrugged and donned a nonchalant expression. Miller had ditched classes? That was definitely something new. He was an absolute nerd and always got the best grades from the whole team, besides Lexa.

"You ditched class? Who are you and what have you done to my nerdy wide reciever?" She feigned to be shocked and glared at him.

"Um...I met somebody." He only said suddenly shy.

Lexa just raised her eyebrows at him and shook her head. She wasn't interested in who the person was Miller was now spending time with, but she was happy that he finally found someone. Miller had always had a hard time in finding Mr. Perfect for him, but now, that he obviously found someone he liked, she was just happy for her friend.

The rest they ran in content silence. Miller was obviously glad that Lexa didn't ask further questions and was now humming the melody of some old rock-song that Lexa did not know the name of.

After their small run, Lexa instructed them to split up and do the exercises, she had already explained to them, in teams. Her team was already used to this and split up fast into their already experienced teams.

She stood with her back to the bleachers and therefore didn't see Clarke arriving early.

"Dax! Concentrate! If you throw a pass like that in the next match I'll have you benched for at least two games! So shut up and stop bragging about your newest conquest and fucking start concentrating!" She shouted from her place a few yards away from him.

The boy shut up instantly and nodded. He knew exactly that he better shouldn't strain the nerves of their captain.

When Lexa was on the pitch, she was ruthless. She didn't allow any half-hearted passes or actions. Either you were with all of your body, including your brain, in the game or you will be replaced by the next best option. And these were not rare. Their team was big enough that she had at least three replacements for everyone of her players.

After another hour of her shouting and showing her teammates some skills, they took a well deserved break. They were finished with the drills and only would do a last little game.

That was when she saw her and she wasn't able to hide her smile anymore.

Clarke was sitting on the bleachers and staring down in her lap. It looked as if she was drawing something.

Lexa hurried the way up and knelt in front of the girl that held her heart in her hands. "I thought you were coming after my practice?" She said with a little half-smirk playing with her lips.

The blondes head shot up and she closed her sketchbook that was laying in her lap with a quick and smooth motion. "What. The. Fuck. You scared the hell out of me!" The blonde said overdramatically and placed her hand above her heart as if to show Lexa that it was racing.

"I love you, too." She just replied and leaned forward to kiss the blonde's perfect lips. It still felt surreal to say I love you to the blonde, but it was just the way she felt.

When they separated Clarke let out a small chuckle and Lexa swore that this was one of the most beautiful sounds she ever heard. "Are you going to show me what you drew?" Lexa asked and pointed at the sketchbook that was still resting in the blondes lap. She already knew that Clarke could draw really awsome things and she really wanted to know what the blonde had captured now on paper.

"When it's finished. Now its not more than a little sketch." Clarke let out a nervous little laugh.

"Well, this little sketch is probably better that any drawing I had to do during my obligatory art-classes in high-school." Lexa laughed when she thought back to these awful excuses of drawings. At least that was what they were supposed to be.

"Woods! Get your ass back down here!" Lexa rolled her eyes at the sound of their coach's voice. That guy did literally nothing and was paid for it, but shouting her name and telling her that she has to go back down there was something he seemingly was capable of.

"That's my cue to leave." She sighed and got up. "I see you in about thirty minutes?" She asked once again. It was a stupid question since they were going shopping today, but she still couldn't really believe that all this was real. That Clarke was real.

"Of course." The blonde answered and Lexa leaned down for one last small kiss on the lips.

She hurried the stairs back down and joined her team for the last part of their practice. They played a simple game and Lexa's team won.

As soon as she ended the training, she spurted into the girl's locker room, just to find Clarke waiting there for her. Monroe and Harper had both to write some exams today, so she had the whole room for herself.

"Hey." The blonde greeted her and smiled.

"Hey." Lexa replied, but kept her distance. She felt sticky and gross and she didn't want to be close to Clarke in this state. The blonde deserved better. "I'd come over, I feel kind of gross, so I'll shower at first, okay?"

The small pout on Clarke's lips was adorable, but the blonde nodded nonetheless. "I'll wait outside then." She moved to get up, but stopped when she saw that Lexa shook her head.

"Stay here. I'll be quick." She just replied and started discarding her training gear. Shirt, shoulderpads and so on. Everything was stored neatly in her locker. After that she hurried into the shower and missed the adorable pink flush that decorated Clarke's cheeks now.

When she came out of the shower again, the blonde girl still sat there and was now scrolling through her phone. "I'm just changing and then we can head downtown." She said and started grabbing her clothes.

When Clarke looked up from her phone and her cheeks became beet red, Lexa let out a little laugh. "See something you like?" She asked with an evil smirk in place.

But the answer she got, caught her off guard and left her gaping a little at the blonde. "Obviously." Clarke had simply answered while she swallowed. Lexa couldn't help but bite on her lower lip.

She promised that they will go at Clarke's pace, but she wasn't sure how long she could stand this sweet torture.

"I mean, who can say no to perfectly shaped abs and legs?" Now it was Clarke's turn to smirk and Lexa's turn to blush.

Wow, wait. Lexa never blushed. Literally never. She was the symbol of absolute confidence, so what did this blonde angel turn her into? She was a puddle of emotions every time Clarke was around and was unable to hold up her mask.

* * *

Their drive downtown was filled with singing along with various songs that they both knew and a lot of laughter. Lexa had told her a story to one particular song that involved a horrible dance with Anya at one of her parents business events. They had to open up the event by dancing alongside her parents and it went terribly wrong, simply because they were both young and had hidden themselves before with a bottle of too expensive wine. They had had both been unable to keep up with the pace of the song and it ended in pure chaos.

Lexa drove them to the mall and hurried out of the car to open Clarke's for her. "Miss." She said exaggerated with the matching exaggerated move to show Clarke that she may get out of the car.

"Dork." Clarke replied with a laugh and shook her head. She thought it was incredibly cute when Lexa did something like that, just because she wanted Clarke to laugh. Not that cute was exactly a word Lexa would be fond of to being described with, but that was definitely on spot. Cute and adorable.

"I am your dork...so get out of the darn car. I want to buy you a beautiful dress for my parents idiotic fundraiser." Lexa replied and reached Clarke a hand to drag her out of the car.

Clarke knitted her eyebrows. "You want to buy me a dress?"

"Of course, I'll pay for it, but I have one condition." Lexa replied with a smirk and Clarke wasn't sure she liked it. Clarke had brought her own credit card ad was mentally prepared to spend a bunch of money on that dress. She wanted to impress Lexa's parents.

Yes. Technically, she had met them already, but that was before they got together. Now she had to make a great impression on them as their daughters girlfriend.

Clarke got out of the car and looked at Lexa with insecurity written all over her face. It melted away, when she felt a warm palm cup her cheek.

"No matter what it costs. If you like it, I'll buy it for you. Money doesn't matter today, okay?" Lexa looked so sincere that Clarke could do nothing other than nod. Even if she wanted to pay for the dress herself, she knew that Lexa wouldn't let her.

"Then lets go!" The brunette sounded so excited that Clarke couldn't help but chuckle. She grabbed Lexa's hand and entwined their fingers.

Chapter 21

"Clarke! Look over here. That one is gorgeous!" Lexa sounded giddy like a little kid and Clarke couldn't help but laugh. The brunette had shown her at least a dozen dresses and always wanted that Clarke tried them. Every time they were gorgeous, beautiful, stunning or simply hot. But most of them were not really appropriate for a fundraiser, because they were too short or showed too much cleavage.

"Okay...I agree, that one is really nice." Clarke said with a shrug. The dress was light blue and had some diamond applications as well as a low back.

"This would make your eyes pop. Come do me a favor and try this one. Please?" This whole behavior was really uncharacteristic for Lexa, but Clarke adored this childlike joy. She rolled her eyes and nodded.

By now she knew that the money-argument didn't count anymore. Far too often Lexa had just shrugged when Clarke donned one of the designer pieces that Lexa would find for her.

"Okay, but you'll try this over here." She pointed at a black dress that in her opinion would fit Lexa perfectly. It just looked so much like her.

"I never wear dresses! Can't you just pick a tux from these?" Lexa pointed at the end of the store. Tuxes for women. Clarke knew that Lexa didn't own just one dress. The brunette went to every party with a tux or simply in dress-pants and a button-up with a bowtie. That was her style and Clarke really loved it, but she wanted to see Lexa in a dress, at least one time.

"Nope. Either you try this one or I won't try the blue one." There was no room for any arguments and Lexa seemed to have noticed that, because she scowled and took the dress with her in a dressing-room. Clarke let out a small chuckle and got into the other dresser with the blue dress.

Clarke knew that Lexa picked that color, because she had already seen Clarke in her blue dress that she wore for the meeting with Mr. and Mrs. Woods. And she knew too, that Lexa really liked the dress.

"Lexa, I am ready! Come out now, I know you're too." She rolled her eyes when she heard Lexa whimper. "But, seriously, I look horrible!" The brunette shouted back and that was the moment Clarke decided to drag her girlfriend out there by herself.

But she stopped dead in her tracks as she saw Lexa exiting the fitting-room. Her breath hitched, her mouth hang open and her eyes were basically falling out of her head.

"Lex. Don't. Never say again you look horrible in a dress! You look stunning, hot and gorgeous all at once, so please stop rambling bullshit! Do you even look bad in any clothes? No matter what you do you always look perfect, that's not fair." She was whining, but it was true. Somehow she really was jealous of her girlfriend who always looked breathtaking.

"You are the one to speak. Clarke that dress is...wow...I don't have the right words for it. Seriously you managed to make my breath hitch just by looking at you in that dress." Lexa looked at her with so much love and adoration in her gaze that Clarke beamed right back.

"I got one question, Lex...why are you so excited about it? I mean you hate your parents fundraisers." Clarke found herself asking the question that had been in her mind ever since Lexa had asked her to go shopping for dresses. Lexa had complained so much about having to go to this event and now she stood there in front of Clarke all giddy and a puddle of emotions.

"Well, um...I think it's just, I really love your look every time you see yourself in a new dress. You finally look confident again and happy with who you are...I love seeing you this way and that makes me truly happy. You have this spark of excitement in your eyes that makes them shine even brighter than they already do...,that may all sound stupid, but I really love you." Clarke didn't care that Lexa was rambling like a excited toddler. All she could hear that Lexa was so incredibly honest with her that it just made her heart melt.

She couldn't help but lean in and capture Lexa's lips with her own in a passionate kiss. She got lost in this feeling and never noticed the shop assistant staring at them bewildered and maybe even disgusted. No. In this moment everything blurred into a gray mass around her and only Lexa was shining brighter than everything. In this moment Lexa was her world.

"I love you." She whispered when they parted and stared into each others eyes.

"I love you more" Lexa replied with a little shrug that made Clarke chuckle.

"Seriously. We sound like one of these cliché couples that has been married since forever." She said and instantly blushed. Of course that was a joke and they both knew it, but the imagination of bein married one day did something to her. It was way too early for both of them and it would take another couple of years but maybe one day...

"Well, then Mrs. Woods. Please let me pay for that gorgeous dress of yours." Lexa bent forward and kissed Clarke's hand in an exaggerated motion that made the both laugh.

* * *

"Do you want to come over to my place? I could cook you some dinner. Unless you don't have any plans for tonight." Lexa was slightly rambling, but she didn't mind in this moment. She had opened the passengers doof for Clarke and waited there for an answer.

"Well, my plans were to make me some half-hearted dinner like pizza or something like that and binge watching pretty little liars, but having somebody cook for me and me having to do nothing sounds somehow better." Clarke replied with a grin on her face that made Lexa smile. She loved seeing the blonde happy.

"Honestly. How do you manage to stay in this perfect shape? All you eat is pizza and other junk food and you do literally only the smallest amount of sports. Do you even own sports-clothes?" Lexa asked while shaking her head. That was unfair. Clarke looked perfect and had to do nothing for that while she was going for a run each day, had practice basically everyday and sometimes went to the gym.

"Well...that must be something I got from my father. He always does the same." The blonde said with a small laugh, probably thinking of her father in that moment.

 _She really loves him._

Lexa couldn't blame her. He sounded like a great man and so Clarke had enough reasons to love him the way she did.

She huffed and walked around the car to take her seat behind the wheel. Their outfits were being fitted for the event and she would pick them up tomorrow in the morning. Cheers to having some privileges. If it weren't for these their clothes won't be ready until they needed them.

While she drove she listened to Clarke singing along to a song Lexa already knew she had always sung to in the kitchen with her father using spoons as their microphones. It looked as if Clarke was just reliving one of these moments and Lexa let her.

She pulled her car into her parking lot across her building. Once again she hurried around the car and opened the door for Clarke. She wanted to do this right and treating Clarke like she deserved the world was an essential part of doing it right.

She took her hand and guided them to the building, when she saw Ontari lounging around in one of the chairs their landlord had placed in the hallway.

 _For Christ sake! Doesn't she have furniture in her own apartment?_

"Um...before we go in, please don't take anything she says too seriously. Ontari, well, um she has a thing for me? She always waits for me to return to my apartment so she can ask me out...this girl is just creepy." Lexa muttered in Clarke's ear which made the blonde chuckle.

"So, the famous Lexa Woods has a stalker?" Lexa smiled at the wicked grin on the blondes face.

"Kind of...this is just, well...yeah this is just Ontari. To this girl the word no is a foreign language." She laughed silently and tugged Clarke forward.

They entered and Lexa couldn't resist rolling her eyes when she saw Ontari's features brighten. The brunette stood up from her seat and made her way over to the couple.

"Lex, funny coincidence seeing you here! How are you doing?" Her voice sounded much too flirtatious and Lexa felt Clarke next to her tensing. When she looked over to the blonde it wasn't because of Ontari, no, it was because Clarke really had a tough task to supress a laugh. Lexa could see that all the blonde wanted to do was burst out in laughter.

"Well, I live here so it isn't that much of a coincidence, right?" She raised her eyebrows and waited for another lame explanation of Ontari why she was lounging around in the hallway while she literally lived four feet away from the seats in the hallway.

"Yeah. I was just sitting there and checked out the new seats our landlord put in here. They are really comfortable, you should join me." The creepy girl seemed to forget Clarke's presence completely which made Lexa's eyebrows rise up even higher if that was even possible. She had heard a lot stupid excuses from Ontari for why she was spending so much time in their hallway, but this, combined with the not so subtle invite to spend time with her, was a new level of negative.

"I actually wanted to go upstairs and cook my girlfriend," She motioned with her head to the right where Clarke stood and still held her hand. Ontari might be stupid, but that she hasn't seen this was really strange. Maybe she had seen it but decided to ignore it. Lexa didn't care. "a nice dinner and spend some time with her, so I'll have to pass."

The look on the brunettes face was the funniest thing she ever witnessed. Instantly after she had heard the word girlfriend she had turned her attention from Lexa to the blonde that was holding Lexa's hand and glared at her with such and intensity that Lexa already feared that it really scared Clarke.

But it didn't. If it did something to the blonde, it was just that it made it basically impossible for her to contain her laughter.

"I am Clarke, by the way. Nice to meet you." The blonde offered with feigned kindness. Ontari simply nodded and shifted her attention back to Lexa who now was also on the brink of laughing at the jealousy that was painted onto Ontari's features.

"I always thought you had no time for dating? At least that was what you told me every time I asked you out." This was too much. A small laugh escaped Lexa's lips and she shook her head.

"You know, some people are really worth my rare free time. Clarke definitely is." She shook her head once more. "Bye, Ontari." She offered and dragged Clarke upstairs.

When they closed the door behind themselves, they both bend over and started laughing wholeheartedly.

"When you said creepy, I didn't imagine her too be that...that creepy." Clarke managed to get out between her laughter and Lexa simply now smirked at her.

"And now imagine that this awaits me every day when I return to my apartment. She always has the best excuses. 'Oh! Lexa! I just came home from shopping groceries, what a coincidence!'" She mimicked the brunettes voice which made Clarke to burst out in laughter once again. "She didn't even have bags with her."

"I need you to finally go to college here so that you can move in with me...that face was just the best thing I've ever seen." They both laughed, but then it dawned Lexa what she had just said.

They had known each other only for a couple of weeks and it'll be another couple of months until Clarke even graduated, so why the fuck did she just say that?

Clarke had furrowed her eyebrows and stared at her in shock. It was nearly the same as the mention of the married couple only a few hours prior.

 _Was it impossible to be so sure that this person, a person you only met a couple of weeks ago, was the one for you?_

It was, but Lexa felt so content with thinking of spending her life with the blonde. Clarke already held her heart in her hands, so what was wrong with thinking that way?

 _ **Chapter 22**_

Her phone was buzzing and Clarke hurried to find it. She knew that it must be somewhere in her room, probably under her blanket or in one of her nightstand's drawers, but she wasn't entirely sure.

„This darn thing! I swear one day I'll throw it out of my window." She grumbled when she searched in every drawer. Finally she found it in the last one and was truly surprised that the caller hadn't hung up yet.

She didn't check the caller's ID. She honestly never did that.

It was already late evening on a wednesday and she wondered who would call her at this ungodly hour. Not that there were a lot of possebilities, but still. Her first guess was her mother and that she would say that she has to work through the night and wouldn't return at eleven as planned, butr on the other hand, her mother had never called her to let her know that she wouldn't return home at the time that was planned. She just did.

That left her dad, which was also unlikely, Raven or Octavia, but they never called her late at night and Lexa.

„Hello?" She asked as she picked up the call. And the moment she heard the little laugh from the other end of the connection she knew it was a certain brunette calling her.

„Hey you, I didn't wake you, did I?" Lexa sounded truly concerned and Clarke couldn't help shaking her head and rolling her eyes. Sure, Lexa wasn't able to see that, but Clarke was sure that the brunette was aware of that motions. That was just the way things worked between the two of them.

„Nope. I was busy drawing a kind of really ugly and weird sketch, so no, you didn't wake me." It was the first time she actually paid attention to what she was drawing. When she drew, she just let her hand move and find the lines, without truly knowing what would be the result of it. Now, she wasn't even sure what she drew. It was some kind of forrest and there was a woman standing in front of a tree with a dark, long coat and a sash. On a second glance that woman looked somewhat like the girl that had just called her. The eyes were piercing and she stood straight with her hands clasped behind her back.

Whatever that was, it looked kind of strange, but also catching.

„Okay...I'm sorry for calling you this late, but my parents just called and told me that I should invite you over for dinner with them and me. Before the fundraiser, I mean. There was something they wanted to talk with us about, it may be connected to the trial in two weeks...I know this is probably much and they will understand that you don't want to go. I'd just tell them that you have a school-thing that you have to deal with before the benefit-gala." Lexa was rambling slightly.

In the moment Clarke heard the word trial she felt her stomach clench and she gripped her pencil with a lot more force than necessary.

With Lexa by her side, she almost forgot why they had met in first place. Two weeks...that was not enough time. Two weeks and she had to be ready to face Finn again, just to hear some kind of bad explanation for his behavior. Probably he even would say that he did nothing. Murphy would just go with it and support that story.

"Clarke?" Lexa asked again.

She hadn't noticed that she actually lost in thought, but Lexa pulled her out of her daze that might have let to a panic-attack. She had already felt her breathing becoming ragged and her vision blurry.

"No...I'll come. How late?" She asked. Her voice sounded probably clipped and really uncertain, but that was the best she could do right now.

"I'll pick you up at five, is that okay?" Lexa asked and in her voice Clarke could hear, that the older girl exactly knew how she was really feeling in this moment, but it seemed as if she knew, too, that it was the best to leave Clarke for now. They could talk about that another time.

"Sounds good." She just answered and sighed.

"Okay...see you tomorrow then, goodnight, Clarke."

"Goodnight, Lex."

The day went by fast. Too fast for Clarke's liking.

After Lexa had shown up the other day, most people left her alone. Probably just, because they were afraid od pissing someone like Lexa off, becaus that really was something that nobody should have on his or her bucket-list. And there was the small side-effect that Lexa's parents were the best lawyers in the country.

But some of the people at her school were still giving her a hard time. They say things like _"Alexandria Woods simply did that, because she wanted the guys to stop, not because they're actually dating."_ or _"Ey, Griffin, using Woods for her money or what?"_

The second one really hurt. How could somebody say something like that? She would never do that.

Now she was already ready for attending the dinner with Becca and Ryder. At least physically, emotionally was another story. But Lexa would be there, right? Maybe with her by her side, Clarke could face it, but still, she really just wanted to forget all of this shit and that it ever happened.

On the other hand, if it had never happened, she would've probably never met Lexa. And with not meeting her probably the only chance to be happy again.

She nearly jumped when the bell ripped her out of her thoughts.

 _You got this. They just want to help you and when you're through this, it'll all be over._

She hurried down the stairs, only to find her mother already chatting with Lexa. Abby didn't know they were dating, all she knew is that they had become friends during the whole process of solving Clarke's problems. Good friends that spend a lot of time together.

But her mother wasn't stupid and the way Lexa's face lit up when she saw Clarke descending the stairs was most likely a good sign that there might be a bit more than friendship, but if her mother noticed, she didn't say anything.

"I'll leave you two to it, then. Please make sure she is back before midnight, since it is a schoolnight, okay?" Clarke nearly wanted to roll her eyes. Hell, she was eighteen and an adult. She could decide that on her own.

"Of course, Dr. Griffin. I'll bring her home save." Clarke had to smile when she heard Lexa's polite and almost business-like voice. It was a mask the brunette could wear perfectly. It didn't matter in front of whom, Clarke's mother or her own parents.

"Good. I'll take your word for it. Now have a good night and good luck with the fundraiser." Abby smiled and returned to the livingroom, leaving Lexa and Clarke on their own.

"Of course you won't wear the dress. No offense, your tux looks really stunning, but the dress did too, believe me." Clarke said with a smirk. But she was right. The dress really did look amazing.

"Trust me, I already have a plan for it." Lexa said with a grin while she offered Clarke her elbow. The grin faded as fast as it had appeared when she heard Clarke sigh. "We can still put a raincheck on the dinner, if you want." She then offered.

Again she was offering her a way out. A possibility to flee, to run away.

But no, Clarke had to face it. If she wouldn't do it now, she would have to do it in the future, so there was no way around it.

"No. Let's do this."

They drove in silence, until Clarke brought something up, that had been bugging her since their dinner after their shopping-tour. Maybe she only brought it up, because she wanted to distract herself, but that didn't matter.

"I thought a lot about our encounter with Ontari the other day...I don't know, but I feel awful about it. We said some really rude things...she didn't deserve that, I think." She was mumbling.

"That makes two of us," Lexa sighed. "I thought the same thing. So I invited her into my apartment that evening, after you left. I know we should've talked about it, but I just had to do it."

Clarke should probably be angry at Lexa for not telling her, but she just felt relieved, that she had thought the same way.

"We talked about it and I made it clear one last time, that I am not interested in a date with her, but that we could drink a coffee at some point as friends. I apologized at least six times and she told me at least six times, that it was fine. Yeah, we were rude, but she admitted, that she had gone too far, too. Before she went back to her own apartment, I gave her my number, so that she could call me, when she was ready to be friends. She also said that she was happy for us and that we make a good couple that obviously had each others back." At that Lexa grabbed Clarkes hand and brushed her thumb over the back of the blondes hand.

"I still feel bad about it, though." She admitted then with a sigh.

Clarke nodded. She should have been there and should have apologized, too. It hadn't been just Lexa who had acted out of character and seriously rude, she had done the same thing.

"I should apologize, too. You have a game on saturday, right?" Of course she had, Clarke knew that. Every saturday until fall-break. Then they would have two weeks off and after that again every saturday.

She already planned on visiting Lexa before the match. She could stop by Ontari, too. She owed her a personal apology.

"Yes. Mount Weather. They are the weakest team in the play-offs. I never understood, why the heck the med-school is allowed to compete with us. They can be about eight years older than the youngest ones from our team and still are somehow really bad." Lexa furrowed her eyebrows as if she was thinking about something.

"That's because you are incredibly good. I mean, just remember the pass from the game against Azgeda. If you beat them, some going-to-be-doctors are no problem." She shrugged.

The Mount Weather hospital had opened their own med-school in this city a couple of years ago and is well known for being one of the best schools in the entire country. They only accept the best ones and from these best ones, only the best ones would make it through the four years of hardcore-studying.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Lexa must have noticed that she once again trailed of somewhere other than this car with her thoughts.

"Ever since they opened that school when I was, five or so, I wanted to go there. They are the best and it isn't too far away from home. But it is basically impossible to get accepted there, so, yeah, that will stay a dream." She sighed. It wasn't even sure she would make it through pre-med and she was already talking about med-school.

"It is good to have dreams, Clarke. They make you stronger and give you something positive to focus on. I may not have the best relationship with my parents, but there are a few things they taught me, that are really important. One of them was, that if you want something and you fight strong enough for them, you'll get it. That was what they did with their company. They wanted to become important and worked really hard for it, sometimes they worked through nights and slept in their offices for a couple of hours, but they made it." Lexa looked at her for a short moment and smiled, but then she once again looked ont the street.

Clarke let the words sink in. They were nothing but true., but it also terrified her. She really wanted to work hard, but would she stand the pressure? Would she make it or would she break under the workload?

"You'll always have me by your side. If you ever think it becomes too much, just talk to me, okay? I will listen." Lexa squeezed her hand. That was once again one of these moments in which Lexa seemed to be able to think her thoughts.

Clarke sighed and nodded. It felt so incredibly good to have somebody you could rely on. Somebody who was there and would listen to all of the shit that was going on in your life. Somebody like Alexandria Woods.

"We're here." She heard Lexa say after a short while when the pulled onto a parking-lot in front of an obviously fancy hotel with an even fancier restaurant.

 _ **Chapter 23**_

„I am glad, that you could make it." Becca engulfed her in a quick, one- armed hug and smiled at her. Ryder shook her hand and nodded. „We planned on meeting you next week, but we recieved a call yesterday, shortly before Alexandria called you."

Clarke swallowed. What did this mean? They recieved a call, fine, but what was this about?

„Please sit down." Ryder gestured towards two empty seats.

As soon as they sat down, Clarke felt Lexas hand on her tigh drawing calming patterns on it. This small motion managed to calm her down, at least a little bit. If things went south, she knew that Lexa would still be there for her. She would always be there for her.

„I think beating around the bush isn't exactly the right method in this matter, so I will come straight to the point. Mr. Collins lawyer called. They are offering a deal." Becca still donned a calm expression.

Clarke felt herself unable to speak. What deal? Was Finn aware that he would loose and gave up? That would fit. He was a coward.

„Mother, Father. What is this deal about?" Lexa had prbably sensed that Clarke was mute for this moment. That she didn't have any words.

„They offered that, if we drop our charges against Mr. Collins, his family would pay you as much money as you want. His parents want to save him from problems in his future which he would have due to his penalty. Most likely he will have to go to prison for a couple of months which would minimize his chances to find a job or otherwise." Ryder explained.

Money. He wants to pay her money so that he wont have to suffer in the long term. Clarke swallowed and shook her head slightly. She couldn't allow this. Money wouldn't make up for all she had to suffer and in the long stretch he might end up hurting somebody else.

It was cruel, yes, but she had to do that. He had to carry the burdens of his behavior and if that means that he ends up in prison then so be it. There he couldn't hurt anybody. At least not without being punished for it.

„How dare he! At first he cheated on her and then he used her as his personal punching-bag. Clarke, as tempting as the money might be, please, don't accept this. Don't even consider it." Lexa looked pleadingly into her heyes with her own green ones. „I can give you all the money you need, but, please, don't take his."

Clarke shook her head and put her hand above the one that was now gripping her tigh tightly and squeezed. She looked into Lexas eyes and found the older girl watching her desperatly. She wanted as much as Clarke herself that he would be punished. Clarke could feel it.

„No." Her voice was unsteady, but the finalty behind the statement was obvious. „There is no money in this world that I would accept so that he could end up living his life in freedom and being a threat for the whole society."

Ryder and Becca both nodded. Lexa's mother scribbled something into her notebook and then smiled at her.

„I thought so. I am sure they only offered the deal, because they know that there is no point in winning. Finn's lawyer is by no means a bad one, but he is also really expierienced and should know when to surrender. We have your friends on our side and Anya. He doesn't have a chance." Ryder said.

„What will happen to John?" Clarke asked. The whole time this talk was about Finn, but Murphy's name never appeared once. He held her in place whil Finn was...hurting her.

„He is accused od abetment in this whole issue. Most likely he will get a financial penalty. About three thousand dollars probably. If he is not able to pay this, he will have to spend some time in prison instead. He doesn't have a lawyer yet and will be represented by one from the court, so he won't get away either." Becca explained.

If he wasn't such a asshole, Clarke might have felt sorry for him. His parents don't really have money and so they probably aren't able to afford both lawyer and penalty, but honestly? She didn't care that much.

Yes. It was selfish, but if you do something against the law, you have to pay for it.

„Good, now that this is settled, we have one more point we want to speak with you about." A look oc concern and was it compassion? Spread over Becca's face.

No matter, what was to come, it couldn't be something good. Clarke swallowed and nodded. She felt Lexa grib her hand under the table and giving it a tight squeeze.

 _You can do it. No matter what, I'll be right here._

The brunette didn't need to say anything, Clarke simply felt it. It was a warmth that spread in her whole bod, starting at her heart. This small motion was giving her the strength she might need.

„There is something you could do to increase our chances on winning." The woman gave her a sympathetic smile. „Our chances are already good, but if you would take a psychological test regarding the internal damage all this might have done to you, the results could be used against the defendants."

Clarke swallowed and bit her lip. A test. A test whether she got any psychological damage.

Lexa had already talked to her about something like that. She wanted that Clarke visited a psychologist as soon as she was ready. Some professional that knows what was going on with her and who might have a solution for her trust-issues.

„Clarke, are you alright?" Lexa asked her and got her nack into reality. She never noticed that she had bitten her lip almost bloody and that she cluched onto Lexa's hand as if it was her life-line. Her knuckles were already white and she was probably hurting Lexa while squeezing her hand.

As fast as she could (which took her a couple of seconds) she let go of her girlfriends handand took a deep breath.

„I'll do it." She murmured. Not really sure if she actually said it out loud.

„Thank you, Clarke. We will set a date and let you know when you have to be where." Ryder nodded once again, but this time he donned a reassuring smile. Now he didn't look like the intimidating mountain of a man who you definitely don't want to meet at night in a small alley, no, he looked like an actual teddybear.

Clarke nearly found herself smiling at that view, but she was unable to do so.

„Then we spoke about everything. And I think that we had enough draining topics for one evening, am I right?" Becca leaned over and placed a hand onto the other hand of Clarke that wasn't occupied with holding Lexa's hand and laid on the table. The woman gave her hand a small squeeze and donned a small smile.

Clarke nodded mutely. The motion had taken her off-guard, but it hadn't felt bad. No. It had felt reassuring.

„Okay, then let me call the waiter." Ryder added.

They ate in relative silence. A compliment about the food here and there but not more. Then they divided and went to their cars to drive to the locations Lexa's parents booked for the fundraiser.

It was half past seven when they arrived. Thirty minutes until the guests would arrive.

Lexa had placed her hand on the small of Clarke's back and rolled her eyes when she saw her mother change the order of pastries on a tray. This woman was a perfectionist.

„She does that every time. Rearranging the food until she is unhappy with it and puts everything once again in its first place." She sighed and was rewarded with a small chuckle of Clarke that the blonde tried to hide behind her hand. „Thats her way of dealing with stress, I guess." Lexa sighed again, but this time with a small smile on her face.

The time went by faster than they thought, because what felt like five minutes of talking, was actually thirty minutes. The first guests were arriving and Lexa found Clarke fidgeting nervously with her bracelet.

„Hey, it's alright. Just be yourself and they'll love you, okay? And if not, they will be kicked out by my parents, because they adore you. Okay?" Lexa stroke Clarke's back lovingly. She didn't have to be nervous at all. There was basically nothing that these people wont like about Clarke.

She heard Clarke take a deep breath and then saw her nodding. This wasn't a lot, but it was enough for this evening. Smiling dumbly and shaking hands was basically the only thing the blonde had to do. Lexa would do all the small-talk since she knew this people a lot better than Clarke and she was already used to this.

„Miss Woods! Lovely to see you again, dear. You look really stunning today." An elderly man had aproached them and shook both of their hands. „And who is this beautiful lady by your side?" He asked.

Lexa hated that kind of talking, but by now, she mastered the art of sweet-talking people into donating enormous amounts of money for her parents charity.

„Mr. Wallace. This is Clarke Griffin. Clarke, this is Dante Wallace. He basically owns half of this town by now." She smiled at her and then shifted her attention back to Dante. This man was okay, actually. He's a family friend for over ten years now and a business partner of her parents.

„The name sounds familiar...are you the daughter of Abby and Jake Griffin?" He asked and Lexa could feel Clarke stiffen.

„Yes. That would be me." When Lexa turned her head only the slightest bit, she could see the obvious question in blue eyes. She shifted her attention back to the potential donor, who was smiling at her girlfriend.

„It's a loss for our hospital that Abby decided to quit, but she is a smart woman, she will have her reasons." He spoke calmly and still donned this small fake smile that was a common gesture at these events. Because, who would attend these parties if it wouldn't be for the rather expensive food and wine?

„Yes. My father is at this point in Africa and helps planning and building water pipe-lines to ensure that most of the villages there have clean water, so she decided that she needs more time for me and the household. That were always my father's tasks but now they have to be covered by the two of us." This Lexa hadn't expected. A simple yes would have been enough, but that Clarke would be this open about the situation was definitely something new.

A waiter passed them and offered them all a glass of wine that they all accepted gladly. Nobody here knew that Clarke was only eighteen and even if, nobody cared.

„She is a great woman. It will be hard to find somebody that will replace her." Dante said with a slight shake of his head.

„Right, you own the Mount Weather Group now as a whole, am I right? I read that you bought the last few shares a couple of months ago." Lexa offered. She didn't want that Clarke had to answere any more personal questions and feel uncomfortable, but seemingly Dante had other plans.

„Yes. We are now starting to conceptualize a new scholarship program for students with high potential for our university. That leads me to another question, Miss Griffin. Do you plan on following your mother's path or do you plan on studying something else?" Lexa had to fight the urge to roll her eyes and just drag Clarke away. Of course, this was simple small-talk, but this was on a level that Clarke wasn't used to yet and she could see the tension in the blondes eyes.

She was about to say that Clarke doesn't have to answer the question when the blonde spoke up.

„Actually yes. I plan on becoming a doctor one day. It is a honorable job with high responsebility and I like the Idea of making a difference in some peoples life." Lexa turned her head at the excitement that Clarke's voice was radiating. When she caught blue eyes, she saw this exact excitement shining in them.

She could see the dream shining in blue eyes.

„That is really admirable Miss Griffin." He nodded with a small smile. „Well, I should talk with your parents for a bit, Miss Woods. It was a pleasure to meet you once again. And for Miss Griffin, maybe we will see us agian when you attend our school." He winked and turned around.

Clarke turned around and looked at Lexa in disbelief. „Did I just talk to the owner of the Mount Weather Group?" She asked and Lexa let out a small laugh while pulling her closer.

„Yes, you did. And you may or may not have opened your way into their med-school. He really likes you." She kissed Clarke's hair and cuckled.

Even if not, she would pull the strings she would have in her hands to let Clarke's wish become true. This girl deserved everything and more. A spot in one of the countries best med-school was one of the smallest things she could do for her.

„It takes more than a five minute small-talk to get a spot in this school, Lex." Clarke mumbled, but Lexa could still feel the excitement radiating from the blonde.

„Well, you got more. You are incredibly smart, talented, caring and ambitious. Now add the fact that he really liked the work your mother did at his hospital and the fact that he really admired the work your father does in Africa. The talk with him was just a little bonus." Lexa watched the blonde's cheek flushing.

„You are really a smooth-talker, you now that right?" Clarke grinned and shoved her playfully away from her.

„Well, perks to having to do that all the time on events like this. But all I said is true, he would be dumb to net let you in his program in a couple of years." She said lovingly. „But first, you have to go through pre-med." She adds with a small laugh.

„You really know how to motivate somebody." Clarke grumbles. „Eight fucking years. Plus the whole internship shenanigans, that sounds like fun."

„It's for the greater good, right?" Lexa gently nudges Clarke.

The rest of the evening went by. They talked a lot of people into donating, even if they both weren't entirely sure for what the donors spend their money.

A couple of hours later, Lexa dropped Clarke off at her home and kissed her forehead gently. „Goodnight, niron." She mumbled and was already halway back to her car's door when Clarke shouted after her.

„What does that mean?" Lexa simply smirked and got into the car. Someday she might teach Clarke at least a little bit of the language her ancestors spoke. Trigedasleng was almost dead and nearly nobody was left who could speak it fluently. Her grandfather had insisted that she would learn it and he teached it with so much compassion that Lexa really enjoyed it.

But like many of their old traditions, it fades until there is nothing left.

Sometimes that was a good thing, since there were some things that definitely shouldn't be present in a moderen society. Things like gauntlets or their old chant jus drein jus daun, blood must have blood.

She sighed at the memory of her grandfather telling her these kind of stories and started the engine. Wherever he might be now, she really hoped that he was happy again.

 _ **Chapter 24:**_

Time fled by. The next week went by in some kind of blur for both of them.

Lexa had several exams to study for and write, plus the normal amount of football, while Clarke was caught up in a school project with Raven for their chem class. They barely talked to each other other than the daily texts.

But with the time fleeding by, another date got impossibly close. No. It wasn't the date of the court hearing. It was something that ate Lexa from the inside out. Something that not even Clarke knew. Even her parents are thinking she handles this better, but she can't. It is impossible to make this easier or to make it hurt less.

It was a day that had a certain routine by now.

It was the 12th of October.

A day full of pain, self-hate and alcohol to numb the guilt that was gnawing in her chest. Lexa didn't need to think.

She would have been 22 today. If Lexa had protected her. If she hadn't convinced her to go for this stupid walk through the park with her in the middle of the night.

It was Costia's birthday.

When she woke up that day, she curld into a ball and clutched to her pillow. Sobs were shaking her entire body and she was letting out raspy cries.

Memories flooded her mind and made it an even bigger mess. She could basically see the newspaper report in front of her that told her the truth. The f*cking newspaper told her that her girlfiend had finally been found. At least parts of her. 'The victims head is yet to be found. It is presumed somewhere in the area the body was found.' This quote made her sobs become even harder. Until now her body was aching from them.

She remembered breaking down in her aunts arms. Hell, she wasn't even at home that morning. Indra had held her close, but that could never fill the void that had been left in her heart that day.

This was not only Costia's birthday, no. It was the day they found her.

Lexa had told Clarke the vague gist of the events, but never dropped an exact date. Costia had been kidnapped seven days before she would turn 20.

Two years. And the pain still felt as if it was yesterday. She still felt the sharp pain every time she takes a breath. She still felt the pain of her fingernails cutting her own palm open, because she balled her fists too hard. She could still feel the pain from being denied to go to Costia's funeral.

„I never got a chance to say goodbye." She whimpered all on her own. Nobody was there to hear it, but it was better that way. Nobody knew this side of her or that this side still exists.

Most of the people she knew thought that the therapy had helped her to go through it all, but no. Not on this day. Not when she had to wait for that inevitable knock on the door. Exactly at 8.37. The exact minute Costia's parents had been told that their daughter was dead. The exact minute the police stood at their door and said that they had something to talk about.

Last year had been the same and Costia's mother told her that she would make sure, Lexa never dared to forget what she did to the girl she once loved. The girl that once had been her entire world.

Could she blame the woman who lost her only daughter because of her? No. She had the right to blame her for Costia's death. If she hadn't been there, if she never had met Costia, the girl would probably still be alive and happy.

Lexa crawled out of her bed and shuffled towards her desk. The third drawer, the one with a lock on it seemed to glare at shaking hands she put the key into the lock and turned it. She already knew what was in there.

All the newspaper articles and letters from Costia's parents. Even USB sticks with back-ups from the texts she recieved from them. She let herself fall back into her desk-chair and grabbed the first article with the headline: „Missing Girl! Police assumes an act of violence."

She read the whole thing. 'Costia G. And Alexandria W. Were on a walk through the park when they were attacked. A pedestian found the unconscious Alexandria W. On his own walk through the park the next morning and called 911. Costia G was nowhere to be found.' The first sentences made her heart ache.

„It should have been me. Why did you take her?" She asked out loud while sobbing violently. There will never be an answer to that question. She will never understand why she was still alive. All she knew was one thing.

Her murderer had known Costia. He knew which day was her birthday. Otherwise it wouldn't make sense to her that the police got an anonymous call on that exact day which led them to the place the body was found.

Back then she tried to solve this on her own since the police never found out the truth. She didn't want to accept that the man who had robbed the only human that ever cared for her from her. She didn't want to accept the truth.

When she finally did. She was a mess. Alcohol seemed to be the only way for her to numb the pain. She got depressed and shut herself off.

And this day was supposed to end the same way. The same way as last year. She would read all the newspaper articles before she would drink, simply because that was the only thing she deserved. She deserved to feel all the pain and wasn't allowed to numb it. No. She read them all while being sober.

Then she would go to her cabinet and grab the bottle of whiskey that was waiting there for her. But she wouldn't drink any of it before 8.37. Not before there would be a knock on the door that told her they'll never forget what she'd done. She would simply sit on her couch and stare at the bottle while waiting.

Then it would knock at the door and she would open it to recieve the letter they send her this year. She would sit again on the couch and read what she deserved to read.

„Today our girl would have been 22. Because of you she will never expierence being an adult. She will never be happy again, we will never hear her laugh again and she will never have a family on her own. We hope you can live with knowing this and wish you a long and painful life. She'll never be happy again and you are the cause of that." It would read.

Then she would start drinking. She would kill half of the bottle and then start throwing her stuff through the apartment. After that she would drink the rest.

That was how it was supposed to be. Now she was at the step of reading the articles, but then there was something that didn't fit into the day's schedule.

There was a knock on the door. She checked the clock that hung above her bedroom-door. No. It was too early. She wasn't ready. It wasn't 8.37. It was too early.

Her first thought was to ignore the knocking. It couldn't be something more important than recieving the punishment she deserved. It couldn't be more important than her grief right now.

She went back to reading the article, but the knocking grew more violent. Whoever was there at her doorstep definitely wouldn't back down. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath while putting on an emotionless mask. She wasn't even able to let a fake smile play with her lips. No. All she could do was blankness.

Slowly she got up and didn't even bother to check how she looked in the mirror. All she would see is the reason for Costia's death.

Slowly she almost crawled the way to her front-door, at least it felt that way. When she opened the door her eyes grew wide.

Clarke was standing in front of her with a newspaper tucked under her arm. She looked at Lexa with the most worried expression Lexa had ever witnessed.

She didn't derserve that look. She deserved to be screamed at, to be hated, but she didn't deserve being worried about. She was supposed to bear the pain not to be relieved of it by Clarke. She didn't deserve Clarke.

„Please let me in, Lex." Clarke mumbled. Lexa was supposed to slamm the door shut. She was supposed to not let Clarke in.

But she did. It happened automatically. She sidestepped and made room for Clarke to slip in. Then she shut the door and let herself lean against it just to slide down and fall on the ground. Her legs suddenly weren't able to carry her weight anymore and her head was spinning. This was not how the day was supposed to start.

Clarke knelt in front of her and she felt the blonde's hand carefully caressing her cheeks. The newspaper was now laying on the ground next to her. „I am here for you, Lex." Was the only thing Clarke said.

Then she connected their foreheads in silence. There were no words spoken. Just the two of them breathing the same air and Lexa sobbing.

The time ran by. Lexa didn't know when Clarke showed up, but all she knew was that it was time. It was 8.37. The single knock on the door told her that.

She moved to get up to open the door.

When she opened it, there was a single envelope neatly placed in front of the door that read simply „Alexandria Woods." The letters were written in blod-red on a black envelope. Exactly like last year.

She didn't want to pick it up. She almost couldn't do it, but then she felt a small touch on the small of her back. Obviously Clarke was standing right behind her and had noticed her struggles. The blonde didn't have to say anything her touch said it all.

 _I am there for you. You are not alone._

Lexa shut her eyes and took a breath. Then she picked up the letter that felt so much heavier than just a piece of paper. It felt like the paper wasn't made out of wood. It felt like it was made out of lead.

She already knew what they wrote down. The only thing that would be different from last year would be that Costia would have been 22 this year.

Like a zombie she walked towards her couch and let herself fall into it. Next to her she felt Clarke sitting down, but she couldn't really recognize it. Her world was narrowed down to the black envelope in her hands.

„Today our girl would have been 22. Because of you she will never expierence being an adult. She will never be happy again, we will never hear her laugh again and she will never have a family on her own. We hope you can live with knowing this and wish you a long and painful life. She'll never be happy again and you are the cause of that."

She read out loud. She had to hear it. She deserved to feel all the pain.

She read the letter over and over again, but every time she read it, the pain became less and that was something she wasn't supposed to feel.

She felt the anger bubbling in her chest and started clenching her jaw while digging her own fingernails into her palms. „Fuck it!" She screamed and got up to grab her bottle. She was shaking and seriously wanted to destroy her whole apartment.

But she never made it further than three steps away from the couch. Two arms found their way around her middle and held her tightly, not letting her go one step further. By now her whole body was trembling and she was starting to fall apart.

Clarke managed to turn her around and engulf her in a real hug. The blonde held her tightly even if Lexa wasn't able to do much more than just sobbing. Clarke never let go. She simply let Lexa fall apart in her arms.

„It's just.." Lexa started, but her voice broke before she could even finish her sentence. Tears started once again to stream down her cheeks and were now soaking Clarke's sweatshirt. That was when she began clutching onto Clarke as if she were her only life-line. The only thing that still kept her alive.

„It's alright, Lex. You are allowed to fall apart. I am right here and I am not letting go of you." Clarke murmured into her ear. It was gentle and barely audible, but Lexa felt the intensity of the statement washing over her.

„How...how do you...-" She wasn't able to end the sentence. She was too weak to do so, but she knew Clarke would understand. She would understand which question Lexa wanted to ask.

Because thats just how they worked. They understood eachother without words.

„In the newspaper they call it the anniversary of the most gruesome murder in city-history. As soon as I understood who this was about...I drove here."

„It's all my fault,-I...she would still be alive if she had never met me. If I never asked her to go for this darn-" She was cut off by Clarke shaking her head and shushing her.

„No, Lexa. It is not you fault. That is what her parents want you to believe. It is not the truth. You didn't kill her. It was the fault of the men that took her and killed her. Not yours. Stop doing this to yourself, please." Clarke was pleading, but now it was Lexas time to shake her head.

„No. If I hadn't taken her on that walk she would still be alive. She would be happy." Her voice was weak and shaky.

„Maybe. Maybe not. You can't be sure of that. You know what my dad always said to me after my grandma died? He said that our fate is written for us. We don't have a hand in it and we can't change it. What I want to say is that, yes, maybe if you two wouldn't have gone for that walk, she might still be alive, but maybe she wouldn't. She could have died any other way. Lex. Please. You didn't have a hand in this. It's not you fault." Clarke wiped a tear from Lexa's cheek and looked at her with the most honest expression Lexa had ever seen.

She wanted so hard to believe her girlfriend. She wanted it so hard to be true. But she knew it wasn't.

„It's true." Clarke simply said as if she could read her mind. But that was just how things worked between them. They worked without words.


End file.
